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Old 09-02-2011, 07:36 PM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,951,102 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by h886 View Post
It's possible she may catch up by then. Some kids get off to a slower start but then are on grade level by the time they start school. The other thing to consider is that your son may be gifted or at least more intelligent than average, and your daughter may not be behind, per se, but simply right on target--average. So she may never hit the same milestones at the same time her brother did, but might be perfectly ready for kindergarten all the same.
I should add that my son was in fact dx-ed with a mild case of Aspergers syndrome and scored in the superior range in many parts of the IQ test (which was administered to him as part of the psychological evaluation). I don't know whether he is officially gifted but he does have an amazing memory, he has great comprehension skills, is very perceptive, etc.
I don't see the same sparkle in my daughter even tough she is clearly a very connected and perfectly intelligent child.
So far this AS business seems to be working great for my son. At first we completely freaked out, but after we talked to the school we cooled down. All props are in place if needed but so far, it doesn't look like he will need much of anything, at least not yet.
He is doing very well in school so far, he rides the bus, he has friends. Not sure how deep those friendships are but then again, we just moved in the neighborhood and he just started K - so everything looks good now.

Given that people are quite defensive and secretive nowadays when it comes to comparing children, I do not even know what it is normal for my daughter's age. All I have is my other child, but then again he does seem to be a bit different from most children his age.

Other kids in my daughter's class who seem to be closer to her age seem to talk, act and behave pretty much like she does (not much talk, at least upon first contact). But a few of those close to 4 were going to town in more than one way. So I don't know...
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Old 09-02-2011, 07:38 PM
 
Location: Atlanta
668 posts, read 787,277 times
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I would definitely send her along in her age group. If as you state she shows the intellectual curiosity to try to keep up, why would you want to hold her back on purpose? As a number of people mention, she's got two years for further development. Since you have a son in K now, have her sit and watch as he does his homework lessons. You'll be amazed at what she picks up. And for heaven's sake this is only kindergarten. Don't judge her against the skills of other kids - judge her against what she learns when given the opportunity. Their brains are like sponges at this age, and they are naturally curious and interested in learning. We should be exposing them to as many things as possible during this period, not restricting it.

As far as ESL is concerned, my wife wasn't exposed to a word of English until Kindergarten yet is the most educated person I know. I think your daughter will do just fine if given the chance.
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Old 09-02-2011, 07:58 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,021 posts, read 98,892,281 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by duster1979 View Post
I didn't read the whole post, but my daughter started kindergarten at 5 years 1 month (July birthday) and had no problems.

Start her in preschool at 4, her teachers will be able to tell you if she's ready for kindergarten the next year.
Same here and I agree with the advice. There was never any question of my daughter going to K at five from the pre-school teachers, and we felt she wouldn't benefit much from another year of PS.

Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
Other than preschool money saved , I hardly see any.
We've talked about this before with you, syracusa, as the OP. In fact, there was a lengthly thread about this on the parenting forum with you as a participant.

There are a number of actual/potential issues. A "big" girl will seem that much bigger with a group of smaller, younger kids. As she gets older, she will probably start her periods earlier than any of the other girls in her class. If she is a fast maturer, she may start as young as 4th grade (corrected class, 5th). I've known girls who were held back who later went to summer school so they could graduate from high school with their class.
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Old 09-02-2011, 08:23 PM
 
Location: West Coast
1,199 posts, read 2,116,200 times
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If she is in pre-k now, she will be ready for Kindergarten at 5.
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Old 09-02-2011, 09:05 PM
 
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Thanks everyone. It looks like most people lean towards the sit "wait and see" approach.
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Old 09-02-2011, 09:49 PM
 
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What would I do? Nothing. As many have mentioned she has two full years to grow and change.

When spring of 2013 comes around I'd evaluate it on where she is at that time.
I'd seriously look at her regarding these areas in this order:
1. Self help skills (dressing, bathroom, meal times skills)
2. Social skills (ability to interact with others)
3. Affective skills (ability to relate to feelings)
4. Gross motor skills (running, hopping, jumping etc)
5. Fine motor skills (puzzles, cutting, stringing, lacing, drawing etc)
6. Language skills (speaking, listening, recognizing, participating)
7. Cognitive skills (puzzles, recognition and understanding of colors, shapes, numbers)

Her actual age and physical size would never be a major consideration for me at all.
You can have a girl who is taller, bigger and older than everyone in the class, yet if she cannot go potty without help, cannot socially interact in an appropriate way, cannot use her words to say what she needs, cannot participate with the other kids at recess, cannot use scissors properly, cannot follow directions and cannot distinguish the color red from a square...then she does not belong in Kindergarten.

However, if you have a tiny girl who is the youngest in the class who can do all those things well without hesitation, then she's should definitely be starting kindergarten.

Do a search for developmental checklists and see where she currently lands for a 3 yr old. She may be right on target, or she might be way below or way ahead. Then check her against a 4 yr old checklist and see that she might even fit in with that already.

Delaying starting in Kindergarten should not ever be solely based on age, nor decided until it's time to decide, in my opinion or experience.
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Old 09-03-2011, 12:17 AM
 
102 posts, read 144,159 times
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Why are you thinking about this now? Are there any waiting lists or plans that need to be made far in advance? If not, relax and let it play itself out. As far as comparing her to her brother, while she's developed enough for you to see how she's different from him,she may be too young to have shown her particular strengths. If she's a normal, bright kid she'll learn English like crazy in the next two years, especially with a big brother around. I doubt that will be an issue. Relax, enjoy, do a quick healthy stir-fry and take the cotton shirts right out of the drier. It will be fine.
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Old 09-03-2011, 09:09 AM
 
9,965 posts, read 11,828,811 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
So my question would be: yay or nay?
What would you do and why?
The answer is easy, hold her back a year.

I have never heard a parent regret holding their child back a year, have you?

But there are many who regret not holding them back.

I had a daughter with a July birthday that we held back one year.

Never will regret that, she was 18 all the way through her senior year of high school... imagine graduating at 17 and trying to find a job.

Or just being 17 and heading off to college.
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Old 09-03-2011, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,021 posts, read 98,892,281 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post
The answer is easy, hold her back a year.

I have never heard a parent regret holding their child back a year, have you?

Yes, out here in CO where redshirting is quite popular, I have known several who have regretted it, particularly for girls. I once heard a parents say, "It was good when she was little but now that she's older. . . ". It's hard for a girl to be not only the oldest, but over-old in school. There is no reason a child who turns 5 in May should be held back for that reason alone.

But there are many who regret not holding them back.

I've never talked to one who regretted that, but I suppose it happens. I dispute the idea of "many".

I had a daughter with a July birthday that we held back one year.

Never will regret that, she was 18 all the way through her senior year of high school... imagine graduating at 17 and trying to find a job.

Or just being 17 and heading off to college.
My daughter has a July birthday and we sent her to K the fall of the summer she turned 5. She was 17 and 11 months when she graduated from high school. She was 18 when she went off to college. Considering the unemployment for teens is as high as it is (just heard a story on NPR about that today), it doesn't matter if you're 17 or 18 when looking for a job, in most cases. The OP's child will not be "just 17" when heading off to college if she starts kindergarten at 5. She will be 18 and 3-4 months.
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Old 09-03-2011, 09:43 AM
 
15,762 posts, read 13,195,357 times
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I would like to point out that if this child is held back she will be (depending on her state) 4 or 5 months older than other classmates, hardly makes her a social pariah in terms of age. That really makes almost no difference.

I have had multiple students being older than their classmates at the high school level. There were no peer social issues because of their age for either the boys or girls. I have no first hand knowledge of what it is like for those children in elementary school
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