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Old 10-09-2011, 07:25 PM
25 posts, read 61,257 times
Reputation: 23


So my husband's new job in a town 6 hrs drive away starts in mid-October, and we are debating how to handle the move with a 5th grader. Our last mid-year move was in kindergarten, so it wasn't a big deal - we just pulled him out and put him back in two weeks later in the new town. Not thinking that will work so well this time.

Advice please from those of you who have lived through this dilemma?!?!

We have to sell our current house on our own (goodbye guaranteed employer buyouts that vanished along with a stable housing market), so we will likely have a place to stay until the end of the semester (assuming it takes the predicted 4-6 months to sell). But then we would be divided as a family for 2 months, and searching for a new home and school will obviously be more challenging from 400 miles away. And I'm afraid my sanity will be shaky managing on my own for that long with 2 kids and a dog, while showing the house and trying to keep working myself (to continue paying the mortgage on said house until it sells). Unfortunately Grandma and Grandpa are also 400 miles away, so no support available there.

I'm so stressed about this that I'm considering moving in with Grandma and Grandpa until the house is sold and the whole thing is settled. But then my son could be in 3 different schools in one academic year - not cool for him.

Thanks in advance for the advice.
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Old 10-09-2011, 08:22 PM
Location: Arizona
1,206 posts, read 2,095,491 times
Reputation: 1529
Since our daughter started school we have moved 5 times, so I understand your concern.

The only thing I can say is to stay positive in your attitute towards moving. If you show your concern he/she will pick up on it and in turn get stressed themselves. This will be a tough move as far as leaving friends and making new friends is concerned, but you need to let your child know that everything will be fine and as long as you are together as a family everything will work out. I don't know if your child is a boy or girl, but our daughter had a lot of separation emotions the first few weeks after moving. She missed her friends and had the drama queen attitude of no one likes me at my new school. I knew this wasn't the case, but I didn't tell her this. I empathised with her and let her know that she just needed to give these kids time to get to know her and visa versa and that everything would be ok.

I made a great effort in volunteering at her school, joining PTA to meet other parents for possible play dates and that helped greatly. Also, looking for a neighboorhood with a lot of kids help too.

I hope this helped. Good luck on your move.
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Old 10-10-2011, 04:13 AM
20,793 posts, read 52,384,150 times
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I would suggest starting him in the new school at the start of the new semester, even if you have not sold your house yet. The transition will be much simpler all the way around. The long distance family thing is tough but it goes buy pretty quickly. We have done it several times, not ideal but you do what you have to do. The last time we did this we opted to have a split family for a long time so the kids could finish out the school year in our old town. They then were going into 6th grade and 9th grades and everyone in those grades were starting in new school buildings. It worked out pretty well in the long run.
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Old 10-12-2011, 11:31 AM
Location: Nesconset, NY
2,198 posts, read 3,291,158 times
Reputation: 2080
Children usually learn from their parents how upsetting changing schools should be. And, going to extreme efforts to try to avoid life's disappointments can lead a child to become overly emotionally fragile below what they would normally be.
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