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Old 10-15-2011, 02:05 PM
 
Location: California
178 posts, read 283,133 times
Reputation: 133

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyvictoria View Post
As I mentioned before, my main issue is not that she let me know late - granted I would have been more prepared had she let me know 4 weeks ago but my issue is writing him up for a committee evaluation. We are already in middle of October, how am I suppose to make any changes in his behavior in two weeks?? I also have a problem with the negative tone of the meeting.
Ikb0714, he usually gets over things pretty fast too. I can give him a time out in his room and once it is over, he'll hug and kiss and be on his way. When I said entire evening, his evening is obviously pretty short. He was hiding perhaps 20 minutes and probably playing with a toy or something while doing it. I mentioned that because it is not something he generally does. He knew we were upset.
I would not go the principal (at this point) and I certainly do not want to pick a fight with the teacher. I understand, my child is not used to the school environment and he needs work on his behavior. I will work with the teacher on it and I am hoping we can cooperate on this. I am just getting the feeling she doesn't want to deal with it.
If it is possible I would try to sit in on the class. Ask the teacher if you can volunteer. Witness the behavior. If he is good, talk to the teacher and ask for comparison. Of course all children act differently around there parents. But the only way to prevent it from going any farther is to go to the principal. Maybe even talk to the yard duty. Does he play well on the playground?
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Old 10-15-2011, 03:12 PM
 
275 posts, read 646,708 times
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I never had an issue with him on the playground other than him trying to hug a kid. He usually makes friends almost immediately and plays well with them. I think I need to concentrate on things I can change fast like the touching issue. The problem is when I put him on a bus in the morning, kids usually yell his name, high five and there is one little girl, she gets up, hugs him and pulls him to sit next to her (she also sits next to him in the class). This happens almost every morning which I found amusing. How am I suppose to teach him no touching when it is obvious there is some hugging and rough housing going on in the bus. I spoke to the bus driver couple of times because he would not get off the bus in his stop unless the driver called his name couple of times and all she said to me was 'your son is so friendly, he talks to everyone and misses his stop' but she did not indicate he is a problem at all. I have to figure out a way to get thru to him.
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Old 10-15-2011, 04:10 PM
 
8,240 posts, read 14,907,200 times
Reputation: 3656
Quote:
Originally Posted by 297421
As I mentioned before, my main issue is not that she let me know late - granted I would have been more prepared had she let me know 4 weeks ago but my issue is writing him up for a committee evaluation. We are already in middle of October, how am I suppose to make any changes in his behavior in two weeks?? I also have a problem with the negative tone of the meeting.
Ikb0714, he usually gets over things pretty fast too. I can give him a time out in his room and once it is over, he'll hug and kiss and be on his way. When I said entire evening, his evening is obviously pretty short. He was hiding perhaps 20 minutes and probably playing with a toy or something while doing it. I mentioned that because it is not something he generally does. He knew we were upset.
I would not go the principal (at this point) and I certainly do not want to pick a fight with the teacher. I understand, my child is not used to the school environment and he needs work on his behavior. I will work with the teacher on it and I am hoping we can cooperate on this. I am just getting the feeling she doesn't want to deal with it.
Have you considered maybe pulling him out of K right now and keeping him at home an estra year, or sending him to a private pre-K program for this year and trying again next year? How old is he? What is the cut-off?
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Old 10-15-2011, 04:11 PM
 
8,240 posts, read 14,907,200 times
Reputation: 3656
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess72 View Post
Herself (the Principal) is responsible for the safety of the children.

If she was told two weeks after school started she wouldn't be upset.

She should work with the teacher, THAT'S WHY THE PARENT EMAILED HER THE FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL! To receive this information eight weeks later is crazy...
I would be willing to put down money that the principal is not going to be sitting on the playground watching the kids!

I don't think that 8 weeks is too long. I would be more upset to get that phone call on week 1 or 2 of school!
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Old 10-15-2011, 05:13 PM
 
275 posts, read 646,708 times
Reputation: 277
Since I e-mailed her first week of school and asked she let me know if she perceives any problems, I would not have become upset if she did call me. How am I suppose to correct the problem in two weeks now? Also, the fact that she did not even acknowledge my e-mail says a lot about her as a teacher in my book. I am not pulling him out of school. He loves school, eager to learn and his classwork is fine. He will turn six in february. I think they should give him until end of this year to adjust. Why is that too much to ask.
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Old 10-15-2011, 08:21 PM
 
572 posts, read 1,071,934 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyvictoria View Post
Since I e-mailed her first week of school and asked she let me know if she perceives any problems, I would not have become upset if she did call me. How am I suppose to correct the problem in two weeks now? Also, the fact that she did not even acknowledge my e-mail says a lot about her as a teacher in my book. I am not pulling him out of school. He loves school, eager to learn and his classwork is fine. He will turn six in february. I think they should give him until end of this year to adjust. Why is that too much to ask.
I agree with you... I have a special needs child, and the lack of communication sends red flags flying for me. My son is in first grade, and I e-mailed his teacher a few weeks before school started. When I didn't hear anything, I dropped by, and was told that they would call me "next week" (the week before school started). When they didn't call me, I called the district. Teachers and administration, who don't respond to e-mails from new parents the first couple of weeks of school is bad juju. Just my opinion, and I know that some people here would take this the wrong way. But my experience with districts has been, especially when it comes to new parents, the good teachers contact you right away and address any concerns you have, at least 72 hours after you send the e-mail. And usually, I give the teacher 72 hours, if I don't get a response, I send a written note, and if I still don't get a response, I stop by. I know teachers are busy, but with new parents it's common courtesy to address concerns about their kids.
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Old 10-15-2011, 08:34 PM
 
7,569 posts, read 7,997,158 times
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I don't think it is your job to "correct" him on your own. It is the teacher's job to correct and for you to reinforce. You cannot replicate the structure of a classroom in your house! Go to the meeting. Explain all of your concerns to the committee. Then see what they recommend. They may just say, let's re-evaluate and have another rmeeting in 1 month. The cannot place your child in any type of "special" class or provide services or give ANY type of formal test or evaluation without your consent legally. If you say no, it's NO. If the teacher seems insistent about having your child removed from the class, then request another teacher (in a regular classroom). How experienced is this teacher? Is she young? It sounds like she is under 30 with no children of her own. Different cultures have different acceptable levels of touching and areas of personal space. It is not just a matter of language, but also the cultural norms of the child's family. You would think most teachers would be aware of that.

You probably are doing this already since you write beautifully for someone who is not a native English speaker, but if you do think your son is having some English language comprehension difficulties, try to speak English at home as much as possible.
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Old 10-15-2011, 08:36 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,462,455 times
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i love your post u r in no way blaming the teacher. this is a great 1st step.
get counseling for the child and yourself, something is bothering him.
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Old 10-15-2011, 10:32 PM
 
Location: California
178 posts, read 283,133 times
Reputation: 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyvictoria View Post
I never had an issue with him on the playground other than him trying to hug a kid. He usually makes friends almost immediately and plays well with them. I think I need to concentrate on things I can change fast like the touching issue. The problem is when I put him on a bus in the morning, kids usually yell his name, high five and there is one little girl, she gets up, hugs him and pulls him to sit next to her (she also sits next to him in the class). This happens almost every morning which I found amusing. How am I suppose to teach him no touching when it is obvious there is some hugging and rough housing going on in the bus. I spoke to the bus driver couple of times because he would not get off the bus in his stop unless the driver called his name couple of times and all she said to me was 'your son is so friendly, he talks to everyone and misses his stop' but she did not indicate he is a problem at all. I have to figure out a way to get thru to him.
You can't stop him from being a touchie feelie five year old. All you can do is try to explain reasonable boundaries. Maybe you should ask the teacher how you should achieve this?
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Old 10-16-2011, 06:36 AM
 
613 posts, read 808,821 times
Reputation: 711
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyvictoria View Post
Since I e-mailed her first week of school and asked she let me know if she perceives any problems, I would not have become upset if she did call me. How am I suppose to correct the problem in two weeks now? Also, the fact that she did not even acknowledge my e-mail says a lot about her as a teacher in my book. I am not pulling him out of school. He loves school, eager to learn and his classwork is fine. He will turn six in february. I think they should give him until end of this year to adjust. Why is that too much to ask.
I agree with you, ignoring your email does say a lot about the teacher. You have given her ample opportunity to communicate with you prior to the PT conference, and since she is suggesting his behavior his concerning enough to suggest referral to committee, there is no excuse for her not contacting you sooner. Also, since it appears her only suggestion is she is going to watch him for another month rather than relaying what strategies she plans on putting in place and coming up with suggestions to do at home so parent and teacher can work together, this also raises a flag.

This is how I see it.

Good teacher:

Replies to your email. Tells you what a wonderful little boy you have, he enjoys school and the kids, he has friends be gets along with and she is happy to have him in her class. Then she would go on to say I something along the lines of I understand this is his first experience with school, and it does seem he is having some trouble adjusting. For example, he enjoys giving me hugs and I live returning them! However, I have had to work with him to understand that hugging time can not occur during lessons. Could you please stress this to him at home?

She would then go on and say again something along the lines that he is very bright, but sometimes he rushes through his work or whatever the case may be. I'm going to work hard on some of these issues, see how he does and we will discuss his progress during conferences. Please call or email if you have any concerns, and don't worry, we will do our best to help 'johnny' make this adjustment successfully.

Now the parent feels her child is liked by the teacher and that she cares. Also, parent will feel her child is in capable hands and feel confident that parent and teacher will work together to help child.

Versus bad teacher:

Parent who is concerned because she knows her child will have some problems adjusting to school because he has no prior experience, takes teacher into her confidence and expresses her concerns. Teacher is aware of parent concerns, sees difficulties child is having, is asked both verbally and through email how child is doing, and leads parent to believe everything must be ok.

Teacher makes no effort to reply to parent, but at PT conference, offers parent kindy chair then takes her place in her adult chair in position of authority and then proceeds to POINT OUT everything that is wrong with the child. The only solution is to watch child for any changes ( no suggestions on how to make changes) upon which she will then refer him to committee.

Parent walks away stunned, hurt and confused. Teacher pats herself on the back because she has covered her a$$ (documentation + meeting with Parent), next step is referral, and now it's someone else's problem. Let the committee come up with a behavioral plan, she did her job.

Now parent does not trust teacher and I can guarantee if it goes to committee will not trust the school either.
Great job Teach!
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