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Old 12-08-2011, 04:16 PM
 
15,756 posts, read 13,184,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
I'm not at all sure what "sounds nice enough" means. But whatever.
It "sounds nice enough" because I have no experience with such a thing and have to go off of my imagination.
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Old 12-08-2011, 04:23 PM
 
15,756 posts, read 13,184,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawflower View Post
There is a big different between meeting your kids' teachers/putting names with faces and negotiating grades.
I agree. I have never had the opportunity for the former because of having to deal with the latter.

We have one of those Back to School nights where the parents follow the kid schedule for 10 mins for each period. I barely have enough time to go over my expectations, grading policy and give my email address. At that point about 1/4 of the parents line up to begin the negotiations. Some of them want me to know their child is an athlete and will not be able to do their homework so I shouldn't count it against them, that I please give this one notes since he/she cannot read their own hand writing, etc. Just this year one parent demanded that I ask their child three times for their work before I accept that they have not done it.

Now, I would bet the majority of parents would want to just shake hands and introduce themselves, but the 25% who want to begin to demand special treatment make that impossible. Personally, I would love to have the opportunity to get to know the other 75% but it has never happened at back to school night at any school I have ever taught at.
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Old 12-08-2011, 04:29 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,346,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
It "sounds nice enough" because I have no experience with such a thing and have to go off of my imagination.
Got it.

We always wanted to let the teachers know (in person) that we appreciated them. No negotiating involved. That concept is foreign to me.

(This stopped when they went to college, lol. Though we would occasionally run into one of their professors at a game or event and we'd say, "Hi. How are you. My son is in your X class.")
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Old 12-09-2011, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Lake Arlington Heights, IL
5,481 posts, read 10,060,877 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Got it.

We always wanted to let the teachers know (in person) that we appreciated them. No negotiating involved. That concept is foreign to me.

(This stopped when they went to college, lol. Though we would occasionally run into one of their professors at a game or event and we'd say, "Hi. How are you. My son is in your X class.")
And i like to let the teacher know that if my child gets out of hand or is dis-respectful, please let me know because what they face at home will make school initiated consequences look mellow. We're "old school" that way.
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Old 12-09-2011, 07:47 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,346,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cubssoxfan View Post
And i like to let the teacher know that if my child gets out of hand or is dis-respectful, please let me know because what they face at home will make school initiated consequences look mellow. We're "old school" that way.
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Old 12-10-2011, 03:46 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,717,492 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cubssoxfan View Post
And i like to let the teacher know that if my child gets out of hand or is dis-respectful, please let me know because what they face at home will make school initiated consequences look mellow. We're "old school" that way.
I wish all parents were this way. I once had a 6'4" student who weighed over 200 pounds stand up, **** his fist back and threaten to make a pancake out of my face. When I managed to get the situation under control (I had the rest of the class leave the room), the office's response was "Have you called his mother?". When I did, she informed me he has anger management issues and I should stop making him mad.

My experience is that about 50% of the time, when I do call, the parents will defend the student and admins will side with parents because it's easier to replace a teacher than get a parent to stop complaining. In my current district, parents don't care how high they have to go with their complaints. In fact, many go right to the principal or even the superintendent without even talking to the teacher.
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Old 12-12-2011, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Lake Arlington Heights, IL
5,481 posts, read 10,060,877 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I wish all parents were this way. I once had a 6'4" student who weighed over 200 pounds stand up, **** his fist back and threaten to make a pancake out of my face. When I managed to get the situation under control (I had the rest of the class leave the room), the office's response was "Have you called his mother?". When I did, she informed me he has anger management issues and I should stop making him mad.

My experience is that about 50% of the time, when I do call, the parents will defend the student and admins will side with parents because it's easier to replace a teacher than get a parent to stop complaining. In my current district, parents don't care how high they have to go with their complaints. In fact, many go right to the principal or even the superintendent without even talking to the teacher.
My behind gets sore and my ears start ringing just thinking about what my parents would have done if I pulled that sh*&.
Have had 1 or 2 incidents where maybe we didn't agree with the teacher. We use it as a learning experience to say, "Your teacher is in charge. It's your job to follow his/her rules." But Dad, they're not fair. "Well you may feel that way, but what happens when you get a job and your Boss asks you to follow a certain rule or do a certain project? Are you going to complain/whine that it's not fair? You may, but it might lead to getting fired and losing your job." So the better you learn to deal with the different personalities your current and future teachers will have the easier and better your school life and future life will be. Gets the DD's gears turning and 30-90 minutes the attitude usually changes as well.
Now if the we felt the teacher was "picking" on our child or there was bullying or inappropriate behavior we would investigate
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Old 12-12-2011, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,717,492 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cubssoxfan View Post
My behind gets sore and my ears start ringing just thinking about what my parents would have done if I pulled that sh*&.
Have had 1 or 2 incidents where maybe we didn't agree with the teacher. We use it as a learning experience to say, "Your teacher is in charge. It's your job to follow his/her rules." But Dad, they're not fair. "Well you may feel that way, but what happens when you get a job and your Boss asks you to follow a certain rule or do a certain project? Are you going to complain/whine that it's not fair? You may, but it might lead to getting fired and losing your job." So the better you learn to deal with the different personalities your current and future teachers will have the easier and better your school life and future life will be. Gets the DD's gears turning and 30-90 minutes the attitude usually changes as well.
Now if the we felt the teacher was "picking" on our child or there was bullying or inappropriate behavior we would investigate
I'm the same way with my kids. They're going to go through life dealing with people they don't think are fair. Get used to it.

With dss#1, we went as far as to keep him with a teacher I'm pretty sure hated him. Dh and I felt that if we caved and had him moved to another teacher we would send the wrong message and he'd spend the rest of his life blaming the teacher. So we suffered through a year with her.
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Old 12-12-2011, 04:55 PM
 
Location: Lake Oswego, Manhattan, Aspen
3,136 posts, read 3,959,269 times
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1) Make sure they are not being bullied. Not only is bullying psychologically damaging, it can actually affect physical/brain development. Bullied kids don't sleep as well, can't concentrate, grow up physically stunted and/or overweight... the list is endless, and most everything on that list will, directly or indirectly, affect their grades.

2) Make sure they are eating right/getting all the vitamins & nutrients they need. You can't think very well, if you're not getting your B-complex, etc. That old advice about being sure they get their green vegetables, their orange vegetables, their red ones.... is GOOD ADVICE.

3) Make sure they are not suffering from Sugar Poisoning. Pure, Indigenous Europeans seem to be able to handle Simple Carbohydrates fairly well. The rest of us can not. Cut out all the sweets you can (particularly pure Sugar poisons like soft drinks and candies), and read the labels on things like Pasta Sauce. Sugar Poisoning (I won't use the confusing term Hypoglycemia) robs kids of Vitamin C, decreases their ability to concentrate, and causes depression/mood swings. Instead of Sugar, use pureed raw fruit, spices like Clove & Cinnamon, or Stevia (a plant extract). Avoid artificial sweetenters.

3) Study with them. Take hours of your time, to sit with them, and do their homework with them. And rather than fussing, take these opportunities to hug them and praise them. They will come to associate study with love and belonging, not punishment and loneliness.

4) Start study groups. We did that with our kids early-on. We were grad students when they were tiny, and so it was natural for us to segue into study groups for them, like the ones we were holding for ourselves. We 'catered' their gatherings....really treated the kids like royalty, bringing them healthy snacks... generously applying praise... helping with tough concepts...even giving mini 'lectures' on the subjects at hand...frequently bringing in educators or brainy 'community leaders', to expand upon something they were learning about. Sometimes, their teachers/professors would even drop in. All of this, of course, validated the importance of academics, as well as letting the kids know how good they were...how 'on-track' they were. The payoff was that our kids and their friends didn't mind studying through weekends and holidays. And you can imagine who got the plum summer jobs, when they were teens...the kids the Governor and the Senator had seen having a blast studying through the holidays.

5) Make sure they're getting enough exercise. Reading your History or Lit assignments is no harder, when done on the Stairmaster. With younger kids, why not have your own half-hour exercise sessions with them? Good for everybody!

6) Give your televisions to the needy. Your kids deserve a home free of distractions. And you'll be amazed how much you will be able to concentrate on your kids' academic growth (and diets), without the Boob Tube eating up hours of your own life.

BTW, our two youngest are not quite through with their final degrees/certification. We STILL 'cater' their 'focus group' gatherings. Barring disaster, we'll soon have two surgeons and a Doctor of Finance.
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Old 12-12-2011, 07:18 PM
 
Location: Knoxville, TN
346 posts, read 428,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lauramc27 View Post
I have a 9 year old daughter and this is what we do.

*We read to her every night, almost from birth. Now she reads on her own every night. Sometimes she will still like to read to me and that is a good time to connect.

*I volunteer as much as possible at her school. This shows her I find school just as important.

*I monitor her homework to make sure it gets done. She does her homework at the kitchen table, with no distractions such as radio or TV. If the phone rings, it goes to voice mail.

*I am in contact with her teacher. We go to parent/teacher conferences.

*We talk every day about her day at school. That includes the whole, so n so doesn't like so n so, etc... It can be trying at times to listen to that kind of stuff, but that is also part of their day at school. I want her to know that I am interested.

*As another poster said, don't always believe the teacher over your child. I'm glad I didn't, because had I believed her teacher my childs 3rd grade year would have been horrible.

Basically if you don't show interest in your childs education they won't be interested. You need to show them that you value education and require them to do their best. I have always told my daughter that if she does her absolute best and gets a C that's fine, but if she doesn't study and thinks she can "get by" and gets a C, then there will be consequences.

Just be plugged in.
I followed these basic suggestions as well as some of the others, reading daily, volunteering at school, dialogue with the teachers, enforcement and encouragement at home, ....making learning a family event on field trips and some of the tv programs we watch together. Sometimes it boils down to your kid and their personality and other things beyond your control like individual teachers, learning styles, etc...I did the same things with two kids, one still struggles to do his work, it is a daily battle. The other is an ideal student.
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