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Old 12-12-2011, 01:21 AM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,271 posts, read 4,985,032 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Actually from what I noticed it was those who were sort of 'losers' themselves, or felt they had to prove themselves, who bullied, rather than the popular kids. The popular kids had it made so didn't real much of a need to put down others. I'm not sure if this is considered bullying, but in early high school (high school is year 8 to 12 here, from age 13 to 17) two boys 'playfully' always pushed me around. There wasn't any obvious malice in it, but they did it so often I got annoyed. I went along with it but I felt like I was being pushed around. Neither were that 'popular.' In fact there weren't any clear social cliques or hierarchy in high school, certainly not like what I saw on TV in American schools. That's not to say school life isn't basically similar here, but it seems bullying seems worse in American schools. There was another girl, also not popular or good-looking, who said a couple of unkind things to me. I do remember hearing a lot of comments about the group I 'hung' with, most of whom seemed to have asperger's, enjoy role playing games and science fiction lol.
My experience has also been that this depends greatly on the school. From talking to people from the two schools that had the least issues, we didn't have too many of these, either. I know people who would usually be classed in many different "cliques," too, and they all agree. Many of the athletes were also in the highest classes and also hung around "band geeks." We definitely didn't have a hierarchy, and there certainly was no "popular group." That's for sure. This is also not just an idealized version of "my high school." I went to four different schools, and this was most true at two of them.
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Old 12-12-2011, 09:33 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,144,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by psr13 View Post
My experience has also been that this depends greatly on the school. From talking to people from the two schools that had the least issues, we didn't have too many of these, either. I know people who would usually be classed in many different "cliques," too, and they all agree. Many of the athletes were also in the highest classes and also hung around "band geeks." We definitely didn't have a hierarchy, and there certainly was no "popular group." That's for sure. This is also not just an idealized version of "my high school." I went to four different schools, and this was most true at two of them.
My high school life reminds me of the original Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High TV show. None of the main characters seemed that 'popular' or 'alpha, and the bullies always seemed to have problems of their own. The loners/outcasts, like that guy who had AIDS (forgot his name), which you just felt bad for. There was also a seriously dearth of attractive girls for that matter in my year (always used to joke the prettiest girl was this guy who we all suspected of being gay although it was never confirmed). The majority of students were actually pretty studious and nerdy to some degree. Mostly bland types, in my year. We mostly all got along. Like you said, I attended a private school for only a semester but in a lower socio-economic area and I think it was more that way. The public school I went to was in a more affluent area, as were the students.
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Old 12-12-2011, 11:34 PM
 
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Oddly enough, when I taught school, I saw more direct bullying and psychological abuse in the higher SES schools, rather than the lower ones.

And I don't agree with the study that semi-popular kids get bullied. From what I have seen it is the outliers that get bullied, ones who stand out, or are different. Sort of like how wolves chase out strange colored wolves from the pack.
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Old 12-13-2011, 12:16 AM
 
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I think Bullying has become such a broad spectrum these days. When i was going to school unless someone was beating you up for your lunch money you werent being bullied, you were simply being teased. Nowadays if someone says an unkind word to you one time youre suddenly a victim of bullying. Only thing thats changed is that now we've all gotten soft.
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Old 12-13-2011, 12:21 AM
 
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Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
We all had to go to training regarding "hostile work environment".
Im sorry but in my humble opinion only soldiers currently deployed to combat zones should have the right to claim working in a hostile environment. Because after that, i dont think any of them will really care whats printed on the back of your playing cards.
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Old 12-13-2011, 02:22 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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Originally Posted by pythonis View Post
Im sorry but in my humble opinion only soldiers currently deployed to combat zones should have the right to claim working in a hostile environment. Because after that, i dont think any of them will really care whats printed on the back of your playing cards.
It's amazing how tumultous your emotions are as a teenager. I cried, got really angry over things as a teen I would laugh off now. I think that's why kids are so affected by bullying at that age. The idea of committing suicide because of bullying sounds extreme, but I can totally believe if it's bad enough it can happen.
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Old 12-13-2011, 03:50 AM
 
Location: Gone
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Bullying is serious. Especially if a child does not have anyone who is willing to help him/her to go it trough. It can totally destroy a persons life forever. In our school we had bullying, sexual harrasment, violence and all. It was bad and disgusting and child should never leave alone with things like that.

All those people who suffer, all that misery... Sometimes is no matter how much these kids tries to work to survive from traumas but they cannot.

But adults does it too and it is as bad no matter when and where it happend. For example many workers get deppressed and stay out of work because co-workers are bullies. Some are finally tired enough to commit a suicide.
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Old 12-13-2011, 06:47 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,144,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RiippaKiwi View Post
Bullying is serious. Especially if a child does not have anyone who is willing to help him/her to go it trough. It can totally destroy a persons life forever. In our school we had bullying, sexual harrasment, violence and all. It was bad and disgusting and child should never leave alone with things like that.

All those people who suffer, all that misery... Sometimes is no matter how much these kids tries to work to survive from traumas but they cannot.

But adults does it too and it is as bad no matter when and where it happend. For example many workers get deppressed and stay out of work because co-workers are bullies. Some are finally tired enough to commit a suicide.
True. If adults are concrete statues, then the adolescent years are when the unset concrete is still hardening. The imprints left at that age and earlier can last a lifetime. That is why child abuse is so bad as well as bullying. It's not just the trauma it cases at the time, but the scars it leaves for a lifetime. Even if you don't think about it every night or have nightmares, it's bubbling there just below in the sub-conscious. I used to be intimidated of my father as a child, for instance (he wasn't bad or abusive, just could be stern no-nonsense) and while things have obviously changed the residue of this remains. The same thing applies with say sibling rivalry, which often remain till the advanced years. It's kind of amusing seeing adult siblings argue as if they were 9!
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Old 12-13-2011, 07:07 AM
 
7,497 posts, read 9,277,699 times
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No, it is definitely not exaggerated. Bullying was always a problem that can have serious consequences if not dealt with accordingly. However, I don't think all the adults stepping in to solve the problem necessarily solves it either; kids then never learn how to deal with bullies. What kids need is a valuable, effective way to combat bullying that actually works and I'm lost as to that. It would be a skill kids could take into adulthood and use for the rest of their lives since bullies don't magically disappear. They still thrive alive in the workplace.
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Old 12-13-2011, 07:22 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,144,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Osito View Post
No, it is definitely not exaggerated. Bullying was always a problem that can have serious consequences if not dealt with accordingly. However, I don't think all the adults stepping in to solve the problem necessarily solves it either; kids then never learn how to deal with bullies. What kids need is a valuable, effective way to combat bullying that actually works and I'm lost as to that. It would be a skill kids could take into adulthood and use for the rest of their lives since bullies don't magically disappear. They still thrive alive in the workplace.
I think we are thankfully cracking down a bit more on workplace harrassment, but like bullying there's a point where we become too quick to condemn something as bullying. I think a lot of this is just part of human relations. A bit of good-natured or not so good-natured teasing. A sense of humour and a thick skin would certainly help.
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