Self esteem building exercises

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by crisan

Well, I wasn't allowed to make a mistake and learn from it. While adults told me what to do, I don't think it was meant to shelter me but rather to show that they knew all and were always right. It was self-serving.

Yes, children know when they do well. Don't you think they also know when they don't do well?

Not when they grow up hearing "Good Job!!" for the least effort. I think they're confused as to what constitutes a "Good job".

[crisan]

Originally Posted by Ivorytickler

Not when they grow up hearing "Good Job!!" for the least effort. I think they're confused as to what constitutes a "Good job".

I agree. They at least are confused but I think some start recognizing empty praise.

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by crisan

I agree. They at least are confused but I think some start recognizing empty praise.

I think they are but I also think they don't know how to earn real praise adn they're used to praise so they're struggling with not getting praise. I think someone else has told them what to think for so long, they're not sure what to think even though they are now realizing that all those pats on the back for effort are meaningless.

The question we have to answer is how to teach them that their worth isn't tied to praise and that real self esteem is rooted in ability. How do you go back and teach a generation who grew up believing they are special snowflakes, who were praised for just showing up, that they now need to earn the recognition they crave? I do think they crave it. They've had it all their lives.

It's as if their parents thought that they'd just, magically, figure out that, in the real world, you actually have to accomplish something before anyone pats you on the back.