U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Education
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-20-2012, 02:30 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, Louisiana
14,097 posts, read 13,701,183 times
Reputation: 7668
Many times the bullies don't remember the fact that they made someone's life a living hell. Some will deny ever doing so saying it was just having fun. I went to school with a girl who was horribly bullied. Many years later I met her and her husband at my job. What was sad was when she introduced me to her husband she said, "This is David. Him and I went to school together, but he wasn't on of them." when she mentioned school, his face tightened, when she said I wasn't on of them, his face relaxed. I knew what she meant. I too had been bullied (sometimes by the school teachers) but not as badly as her. If she had gone to school in this day and age, she would have probably gone to school with a gun shooting many students. She joined the Army to get away from here right after graduation. She was in town to visit family and then she was leaving again. Those are emotional scars that run very deep because they were inflicted as your mind and body were still developing. Think of them as a mental keloid.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-22-2012, 05:48 AM
 
653 posts, read 500,965 times
Reputation: 957
I've had mixed experiences. I bumped into one woman who used to pick on me in high school, she was a cashier at walmart and I was in her line. As she rung me out she kept asking things like "Rembember how UGLY you were, LOL, remember how we used to kick you on the bus?". I was a little taken aback, infact I kind of ran out to my car with my heart pounding because I allowed myself to revert back to that little picked on girl. Now mind you this was a good five to six years AFTER high school. I should have shut her down.

On the other hand, I've had former bullies friend me on facebook and they have been quite nice to me. The more I see of their lives now, the more I wonder if their bullying stemmed from rough home lives and parental issues. They seem to have pretty rough backgrounds that I wasn't aware of at the time in High School.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-22-2012, 03:09 PM
 
108 posts, read 68,450 times
Reputation: 65
Quote:
Originally Posted by TimeMachine View Post
I've had mixed experiences. I bumped into one woman who used to pick on me in high school, she was a cashier at walmart and I was in her line. As she rung me out she kept asking things like "Rembember how UGLY you were, LOL, remember how we used to kick you on the bus?". I was a little taken aback, infact I kind of ran out to my car with my heart pounding because I allowed myself to revert back to that little picked on girl. Now mind you this was a good five to six years AFTER high school. I should have shut her down.
Oh well that just goes to show you how some people never change. I feel sorry for them. Guess that woman doesn't have a life afterall. Tsk tsk
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2012, 11:15 AM
 
322 posts, read 416,854 times
Reputation: 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by TimeMachine View Post
I've had mixed experiences. I bumped into one woman who used to pick on me in high school, she was a cashier at walmart and I was in her line. As she rung me out she kept asking things like "Rembember how UGLY you were, LOL, remember how we used to kick you on the bus?". I was a little taken aback, infact I kind of ran out to my car with my heart pounding because I allowed myself to revert back to that little picked on girl. Now mind you this was a good five to six years AFTER high school. I should have shut her down.

On the other hand, I've had former bullies friend me on facebook and they have been quite nice to me. The more I see of their lives now, the more I wonder if their bullying stemmed from rough home lives and parental issues. They seem to have pretty rough backgrounds that I wasn't aware of at the time in High School.
Considering she's a cashier at Wal-Mart, I'd say you've already proved you're better than her (No offense to other Wal-Mart cashiers on CD)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2012, 11:32 AM
 
322 posts, read 416,854 times
Reputation: 195
I was picked on in grade school through HS to a certain extent. I had a problem being sociable (could have been ADD but never got checked) because either I would start talking and not know when to stop or I would clam up and not say a word. Usually it was the latter because I was made fun of when I talked too much.
However there was one instance in 5th - 6th grade, this kid used to pick on me for whatever reason kids do. So much to the point I once ended up crying in the cafeteria because he got others to join in on the teasing. He finally stopped after my brother intervened on my behalf.
Fast foward to HS, we were not close friends but we started hanging out in the same circles, going to the same hangouts, and talking to the same groups of girls.
Fast foward again to after college, we were now really good friends and one day out of the blue he emails me saying he was sorry for what he did back in grade school. I stopped thinking about it long ago since we were buds, but on a certain level I felt some closure for his apology.
Some people say to just get over it because you and the bully(s) were just kids back then or it was so long ago so stop dwelling and move on, but I think if those people ever felt what it was like to be teased, made fun of, beaten up, and feeling alone and powerless to stop it, they may just have a better understanding of why some feelings and memories cannot easily be gotten over. While you can't change the past, you also can't change the fact that what was done was wrong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2012, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Lafayette, Louisiana
14,097 posts, read 13,701,183 times
Reputation: 7668
Quote:
Originally Posted by TimeMachine View Post
I've had mixed experiences. I bumped into one woman who used to pick on me in high school, she was a cashier at walmart and I was in her line. As she rung me out she kept asking things like "Rembember how UGLY you were, LOL, remember how we used to kick you on the bus?". I was a little taken aback, infact I kind of ran out to my car with my heart pounding because I allowed myself to revert back to that little picked on girl. Now mind you this was a good five to six years AFTER high school. I should have shut her down.

On the other hand, I've had former bullies friend me on facebook and they have been quite nice to me. The more I see of their lives now, the more I wonder if their bullying stemmed from rough home lives and parental issues. They seem to have pretty rough backgrounds that I wasn't aware of at the time in High School.
Good comeback would have been, "yes, I do remember. I also remember that I'm a paying customer and you're the employee and if you continue this conversation I'll have to speak to your manager about your behavior."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2012, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
5,470 posts, read 3,247,945 times
Reputation: 9119
Quote:
Originally Posted by sailordave View Post
Good comeback would have been, "yes, I do remember. I also remember that I'm a paying customer and you're the employee and if you continue this conversation I'll have to speak to your manager about your behavior."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2012, 12:37 PM
 
5,291 posts, read 6,028,034 times
Reputation: 6246
I was picked on in high school, and it does leave scars. But I've moved on. If someone from that painful era tried to re-connect with me, I would turn them down. They had their chance! What would make you think they've changed, and why should you care?

For the poster who said they were raising money to fly her out to a reunion, I would be very cautious with that, it could be another cruel joke. Live in the present, forget them!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2012, 12:42 AM
 
1 posts, read 979 times
Reputation: 10
Well I guess my brother was kind of the school bully (though he never pounded anyone badly, just shoving around small guys into locker room and some teasing at times) but he stopped ever since getting the smaller guy beat him 4 months ago. I'm still mad because it's my brother afterall and to make matters worst he apologized to the guy.

It sucks because at the same time he used to be a leader. Now with him down, it's like I have to be the new leader. I'm currently a sophomore at HS and trying to figure out how to be a leader. But it won't be the same since I'm just a girl and will have different strategies.

Yeah now that my brother's down, it's not the same anymore.

Last edited by Aracelly96; 05-24-2012 at 12:51 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2012, 12:58 AM
 
Location: New York
877 posts, read 829,059 times
Reputation: 512
Not yet. I've been out of high school for 2 years now and these people act like they don't even know me. So, I guess it's either much better or much worse than I thought it would be. Truth is, some people have no shame and they can get away with things.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Education

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top