U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Education
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-19-2012, 02:22 AM
 
108 posts, read 75,540 times
Reputation: 65

Advertisements

I'm wondering if that has ever happened to any of you? That your former bully actually search for you on facebook or saw you in person and apologized?

I'm just glad it's now been 5 years since I'm out of high school.

Bumped into 2 female high school bullies last year and they acted as if we were best friends. I was the shy girl they teased, pulled stunts on me, spread false rumors and once humiliated me in front of the whole student body by having others taking me out of the gym and not letting me in (calling me stick girl). I went along with it and like whatever but I'm sure there are affected ones that would expect an apology.

We talk on facebook and since they're not bringing it up, I won't say anything about it. They seemed changed. Or maybe it's their way of apologizing by not saying it, but proving (inviting me to their hang-outs, talking about men, giving out money to charity, etc) it through other ways.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-19-2012, 02:50 AM
 
Location: Anchorage
4,045 posts, read 5,455,669 times
Reputation: 2207
I was apologized to in a roundabout way. I ran into someone who used to terrorize me and she was very nice and it wasn't awkward at all. Later on she admitted she had been a bully in high school and I got the impression that she felt bad about it. Then our daughters became friends so I saw she seemed to be much nicer.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-19-2012, 03:19 AM
 
Location: Webster Groves, MO
1,083 posts, read 949,180 times
Reputation: 847
I was not a bully by any stretch, but I did have a situation that is related to this. I was friends with a kid that was picked on. He was big and awkward and I was in a much more popular circle as I played sports. We were in 8th grade. I was hounded by my friends about not hanging out with this guy. So I succumed to peer pressure and started distancing myself from him. In a completely understandable act he continued to try and be friends with me. Not wanting to admit the real reason I picked a fight with him and beat him up. Nothing major as the fight was pretty quick since he had no interest in fighting me. I moved away a few months later and never saw him again. It's one of the biggest regrets in my life and I've carried the shame into adulthood. Every so often I've done myspace and facebook checks looking for him. I actually found someone with his name in the city we lived in. I FB messaged him asking if he went to the school we attended so I could be sure it was him. He never responded.

I think kids are generally prett selfish and narcisistic. So I would think it's pretty common for a bully to grow out of it and regret their actions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-19-2012, 02:09 PM
 
108 posts, read 75,540 times
Reputation: 65
gobrien I'm glad it worked out well for you. Sometimes kids can be stupid but don't think everyone stays the same.
Scocar it's ok, everyone makes mistakes. There are some possibilities why he didn't answer: it wasn't him or it was but he didn't know what you were talking about.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-19-2012, 08:17 PM
 
1,429 posts, read 1,423,714 times
Reputation: 789
teenagers live for moment. didn't have a bully but in 8th and 9th grade there was a kid who went to an opposing middle school and then we played on the same football team 9th grade year. every chance he got he would say something negative to me or i'd be walking in the hall between classes and would hear him say something about me. never paid him much mind as kids like that almost always ended up in even rougher situations than the ones they were currently in. he moved to chicago at the end of our 9th grade year....or so i was told and never heard from him again. no clue what i did to set this kid off as he and i never had any convos or confrontations. he just apparently didn't like me. oh well :-)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2012, 12:12 AM
 
3,064 posts, read 1,135,562 times
Reputation: 963
These did!


"LOS ANGELES A woman's poem about being bullied in a California school 25 years ago has brought her former classmates to tears. Now, they're creating a scholarship fund in her name and have raised $800 to fly her back to California for a class reunion."

"I got an outpour of calls and messages, people stepping forward that I don't even remember that said 'I know I was one of those that picked on you and I'm so sorry,'" Lynda Frederick said Friday. "It was overwhelming."




Read more: Bully victim
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2012, 01:17 AM
 
4,043 posts, read 1,500,513 times
Reputation: 1898
Yeah, the roundabout way, I did get some humility, kindness and an apology. It was a guy I went out with just three or so times, and months apart each time. He was a "big fish in a small fishbowl," being a local celebrity in San Antonio. He had an ego to match it, and was arrogant, took me for-granted and I won't go into details but that's why it was only three, if memory serves me.

He emailed me a few years ago and started telling me how wonderful it was that my life turned out how it has, etc., and started saying things about how when we are young we do things that make us shudder years later. I got it....it was his way of apologizing for relating to me the way he had.

Bullies? Well, people can and sometimes do change.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2012, 02:08 AM
 
618 posts, read 511,627 times
Reputation: 498
Not to me they didn't. To be fair I moved away from them in 10th grade and we never had any way of getting in touch after that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2012, 02:17 PM
 
4,535 posts, read 6,373,129 times
Reputation: 3095
What was Mitten's line?

IF I held some down and hit them and cut off their hair -- THEN I might be sorry for it, but I do not recall that particular incident . . . or something to that effect?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2012, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Twin Cities
3,525 posts, read 5,815,987 times
Reputation: 5765
I was the quiet, shy kid who was always the new kid because we moved every few years. I was bullied a lot and growing up was very difficult. I had always hoped the next school would be better but it wasn't. I've reconnected with many former high school classmates through FB and surprisingly they remember me. I've only seen one of the major bullies and actually spoken to him through FB. Funny, he posted to a mutual friend about me and still making fun of me. I am now much more outgoing and speak my mind. I jumped into the conversation and stopped in dead in his tracks.

Didn't go to my 25th reunion since we live so far away, but really don't have much in common with them besides three years of school. People do change and I have made some good friendships with a few former classmates. I learned I just had to let go of the hurt and pain and move on. Took me 'til my 40s to do that but I did and I am so thankful for it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $89,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Education

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top