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Old 05-19-2012, 02:22 AM
108 posts, read 146,165 times
Reputation: 65


I'm wondering if that has ever happened to any of you? That your former bully actually search for you on facebook or saw you in person and apologized?

I'm just glad it's now been 5 years since I'm out of high school.

Bumped into 2 female high school bullies last year and they acted as if we were best friends. I was the shy girl they teased, pulled stunts on me, spread false rumors and once humiliated me in front of the whole student body by having others taking me out of the gym and not letting me in (calling me stick girl). I went along with it and like whatever but I'm sure there are affected ones that would expect an apology.

We talk on facebook and since they're not bringing it up, I won't say anything about it. They seemed changed. Or maybe it's their way of apologizing by not saying it, but proving (inviting me to their hang-outs, talking about men, giving out money to charity, etc) it through other ways.
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Old 05-19-2012, 02:50 AM
Location: Anchorage
4,058 posts, read 8,587,044 times
Reputation: 2318
I was apologized to in a roundabout way. I ran into someone who used to terrorize me and she was very nice and it wasn't awkward at all. Later on she admitted she had been a bully in high school and I got the impression that she felt bad about it. Then our daughters became friends so I saw she seemed to be much nicer.
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Old 05-19-2012, 03:19 AM
Location: Webster Groves, MO
1,104 posts, read 1,839,093 times
Reputation: 892
I was not a bully by any stretch, but I did have a situation that is related to this. I was friends with a kid that was picked on. He was big and awkward and I was in a much more popular circle as I played sports. We were in 8th grade. I was hounded by my friends about not hanging out with this guy. So I succumed to peer pressure and started distancing myself from him. In a completely understandable act he continued to try and be friends with me. Not wanting to admit the real reason I picked a fight with him and beat him up. Nothing major as the fight was pretty quick since he had no interest in fighting me. I moved away a few months later and never saw him again. It's one of the biggest regrets in my life and I've carried the shame into adulthood. Every so often I've done myspace and facebook checks looking for him. I actually found someone with his name in the city we lived in. I FB messaged him asking if he went to the school we attended so I could be sure it was him. He never responded.

I think kids are generally prett selfish and narcisistic. So I would think it's pretty common for a bully to grow out of it and regret their actions.
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Old 05-19-2012, 02:09 PM
108 posts, read 146,165 times
Reputation: 65
gobrien I'm glad it worked out well for you. Sometimes kids can be stupid but don't think everyone stays the same.
Scocar it's ok, everyone makes mistakes. There are some possibilities why he didn't answer: it wasn't him or it was but he didn't know what you were talking about.
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Old 05-19-2012, 08:17 PM
1,834 posts, read 2,811,303 times
Reputation: 1476
teenagers live for moment. didn't have a bully but in 8th and 9th grade there was a kid who went to an opposing middle school and then we played on the same football team 9th grade year. every chance he got he would say something negative to me or i'd be walking in the hall between classes and would hear him say something about me. never paid him much mind as kids like that almost always ended up in even rougher situations than the ones they were currently in. he moved to chicago at the end of our 9th grade year....or so i was told and never heard from him again. no clue what i did to set this kid off as he and i never had any convos or confrontations. he just apparently didn't like me. oh well :-)
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Old 05-20-2012, 12:12 AM
3,064 posts, read 2,164,747 times
Reputation: 967
These did!

"LOS ANGELES A woman's poem about being bullied in a California school 25 years ago has brought her former classmates to tears. Now, they're creating a scholarship fund in her name and have raised $800 to fly her back to California for a class reunion."

"I got an outpour of calls and messages, people stepping forward that I don't even remember that said 'I know I was one of those that picked on you and I'm so sorry,'" Lynda Frederick said Friday. "It was overwhelming."

Read more: Bully victim
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Old 05-20-2012, 01:17 AM
4,043 posts, read 2,895,234 times
Reputation: 1948
Yeah, the roundabout way, I did get some humility, kindness and an apology. It was a guy I went out with just three or so times, and months apart each time. He was a "big fish in a small fishbowl," being a local celebrity in San Antonio. He had an ego to match it, and was arrogant, took me for-granted and I won't go into details but that's why it was only three, if memory serves me.

He emailed me a few years ago and started telling me how wonderful it was that my life turned out how it has, etc., and started saying things about how when we are young we do things that make us shudder years later. I got it....it was his way of apologizing for relating to me the way he had.

Bullies? Well, people can and sometimes do change.
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Old 05-20-2012, 02:08 AM
820 posts, read 1,038,553 times
Reputation: 757
Not to me they didn't. To be fair I moved away from them in 10th grade and we never had any way of getting in touch after that.
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Old 05-20-2012, 02:17 PM
5,092 posts, read 9,618,099 times
Reputation: 3941
What was Mitten's line?

IF I held some down and hit them and cut off their hair -- THEN I might be sorry for it, but I do not recall that particular incident . . . or something to that effect?
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Old 05-20-2012, 03:30 PM
Location: Twin Cities
3,570 posts, read 7,786,851 times
Reputation: 5973
I was the quiet, shy kid who was always the new kid because we moved every few years. I was bullied a lot and growing up was very difficult. I had always hoped the next school would be better but it wasn't. I've reconnected with many former high school classmates through FB and surprisingly they remember me. I've only seen one of the major bullies and actually spoken to him through FB. Funny, he posted to a mutual friend about me and still making fun of me. I am now much more outgoing and speak my mind. I jumped into the conversation and stopped in dead in his tracks.

Didn't go to my 25th reunion since we live so far away, but really don't have much in common with them besides three years of school. People do change and I have made some good friendships with a few former classmates. I learned I just had to let go of the hurt and pain and move on. Took me 'til my 40s to do that but I did and I am so thankful for it.
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