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Just a thought, but encouraging one's children to work to the best of their ability and working with our kids in areas they where they struggle relative to their strengths doesn't require knowing what the neighbor's kid is doing in grade school. If the state standards aren't strenuous enough for you, then talk to the teacher about what constitutes more advanced skills for a given grade level. All of that can be done without knowing the child's relative placement and regardless of one's hypothesis about the origins of competitive parenting. JMHO, but I'd be careful not to fall into the competition trap you are voicing such strenuous opinions against.