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Old 02-12-2013, 05:30 PM
 
28 posts, read 70,003 times
Reputation: 37

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A question for my mother.


So, she is a third grade teacher and there has been a HUGE issue with bullying this year. Students talk about each other, they gossip, they tease, pick fights etc. Today however, there was an incident that went to far. A student took a snapple out of one students bag and put it in another kid's bag opened. (let's call the kid who go the snapple put in his bag C)

C later returns to his cubbie and sees his book bag is leaking and the sides of his hat have been cut off (the rope part on those animal hats) my mother has tried the following

- Class discussions
-referrals
- talking to students 1 on 1
- calling parents
- sending letter home
-separating certain students from one another
- Taken away recess
- Time out in another classroom

My mother feels she has exhausted all of her options. This has become a serious issue and any and all suggestions are GREATLY APPRECIATED
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Old 02-12-2013, 05:37 PM
 
2,145 posts, read 1,589,520 times
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I would suggest public shaming of the bullies, if she can get away with it.
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Old 02-12-2013, 05:41 PM
 
168 posts, read 277,939 times
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Have you considered suspending the student?

I am sorry to suggest it but in todays society most places have a zero tolerance policy with regards to bullying. I am not for or against a zero tolerance policy. It just seems that most parents dont care if their child is a bully, they will ignore the letters you have sent home, ignore phone calls, ect. If you suspend the child who is being a bully that will get the parents attention to the problem.

I know it sucks but parents need to actually parent at home, in this case it seems that this is not happening.
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Old 02-12-2013, 05:45 PM
 
28 posts, read 70,003 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NDSUBison View Post
Have you considered suspending the student?

I am sorry to suggest it but in todays society most places have a zero tolerance policy with regards to bullying. I am not for or against a zero tolerance policy. It just seems that most parents dont care if their child is a bully, they will ignore the letters you have sent home, ignore phone calls, ect. If you suspend the child who is being a bully that will get the parents attention to the problem.

I know it sucks but parents need to actually parent at home, in this case it seems that this is not happening.

My mother is a teacher and doesn't have the authority to suspend a student. All she can do is write the child up and then the rest is up to the discretion of the principal
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Old 02-12-2013, 05:58 PM
 
4,044 posts, read 6,203,604 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HiFi View Post
I would suggest public shaming of the bullies, if she can get away with it.
If the bully gets away with so much crap, you would hope she could get away with public shaming.
But since common sense died long time ago, she might just not. Sad.
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Old 02-12-2013, 06:31 PM
 
7,495 posts, read 9,767,491 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NDSUBison View Post
Have you considered suspending the student?

I am sorry to suggest it but in todays society most places have a zero tolerance policy with regards to bullying. I am not for or against a zero tolerance policy. It just seems that most parents dont care if their child is a bully, they will ignore the letters you have sent home, ignore phone calls, ect. If you suspend the child who is being a bully that will get the parents attention to the problem.

I know it sucks but parents need to actually parent at home, in this case it seems that this is not happening.
Sometimes these kids have parents that are the same way, that bully others, bully them, and abuse them. But I agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HiFi View Post
I would suggest public shaming of the bullies, if she can get away with it.
I like that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MinniieJ View Post
A question for my mother.


So, she is a third grade teacher and there has been a HUGE issue with bullying this year. Students talk about each other, they gossip, they tease, pick fights etc. Today however, there was an incident that went to far. A student took a snapple out of one students bag and put it in another kid's bag opened. (let's call the kid who go the snapple put in his bag C)
C later returns to his cubbie and sees his book bag is leaking and the sides of his hat have been cut off (the rope part on those animal hats) my mother has tried the following

- Class discussions
-referrals
- talking to students 1 on 1
- calling parents
- sending letter home
-separating certain students from one another
- Taken away recess
- Time out in another classroom

My mother feels she has exhausted all of her options. This has become a serious issue and any and all suggestions are GREATLY APPRECIATED
I like the other poster's idea about shaming them. Maybe even force the little antagonist to make an apology to the victim in front of the class and then state the ways he or she can improve his/her behavior. Just a thought.
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Old 02-12-2013, 09:04 PM
 
16,104 posts, read 17,912,079 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MinniieJ View Post
A question for my mother.


So, she is a third grade teacher and there has been a HUGE issue with bullying this year. Students talk about each other, they gossip, they tease, pick fights etc. Today however, there was an incident that went to far. A student took a snapple out of one students bag and put it in another kid's bag opened. (let's call the kid who go the snapple put in his bag C)

C later returns to his cubbie and sees his book bag is leaking and the sides of his hat have been cut off (the rope part on those animal hats) my mother has tried the following

- Class discussions
-referrals
- talking to students 1 on 1
- calling parents
- sending letter home
-separating certain students from one another
- Taken away recess
- Time out in another classroom

My mother feels she has exhausted all of her options. This has become a serious issue and any and all suggestions are GREATLY APPRECIATED
It sounds like she has exhausted a lot of options, but... all of these options focus on the negative except the class discussions (maybe). What does she do for the students who are not bullying?

Is there a school wide anti-bullying program?

Can she incorporate an anti-bullying approach into her reading program?

Some books to use:
Say Something by Peggy Moss
ADL Curriculum Quarterly: Winter 2005. Say Something
Hey, Little Ant by Phillip and Hannah Hoose
Hey, Little Ant by Phillip Hoose, Hannah Hoose | Scholastic.com
The Recess Queen by Alexis O’Neil
Amazon.com: The Recess Queen (9780439206372): Alexis O'neill, Laura Huliska-Beith: Books
"The Recess Queen" (Targeted Grade 1)

Bullying lessons with videos (A Tease is a hook and you can swim around the bait - nice song with these).
Grandma Rose’s Neighborhood

These books give lesson plans that can help too. Many are free pdf downloads.
Eliminating Bullying in Grades PK-3 book w/CD: Sandy Ragona, Kerri Pantel: 9781889636689: Amazon.com: Books
http://www.ksde.org/Portals/41/No%20...Activities.pdf
http://www.youthlightbooks.com/sample/319
http://www.bullyfree.com/files/produ...s(Samples).pdf
NEA - Teaching Students to Prevent Bullying
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Old 02-12-2013, 10:37 PM
 
581 posts, read 587,013 times
Reputation: 1087
Isn't it time to involve the principal? It sounds like it is escalating, despite the teacher's best efforts, so it's time to get a bit more serious. It's very easy for kids at that age to get entrenched in a pattern of throwing their weight around because they can get away with it, so it's important the school take a strong line on it.

Suspension might not be the answer but what about things such as being made to sit out games if they are on a school sports team, removal of upcoming field trips, and/or sending a bill home to the parents for the cost of cleaning the bag and replacing the hat? At the least, getting the parents in to talk with the principal. If my kid were repeatedly doing that to another kid or vice versa, that's the minimum response I would expect from the school.

Looking at it from the other end, does there need to be more supervision, at least on a temporary basis? I know they are third graders, but these things happen when adults are not around, so maybe the answer is that there need to be more adults around? And are those adults actually paying attention and dealing with things as they arise, or taking a more hands-off, kids will be kids approach? Also, are there enough things for them to do at recess and lunch? Idle hands, etc.

One last thing, she should talk to the other members of the class about the importance of not being a passive bystander. Peer pressure/opinion is becoming increasingly important at that age and negative reactions from friends and classmates may ultimately have much more influence than consequences from teachers. Emphasise the need to find an adult if they see something that shouldn't be happening and to offer kind words and support to their classmates (of course, the adult actually has to do something so the whistleblower isn't left hanging in the wind).

The Harlem Globetrotters have a community outreach program for 6-12 year olds called the ABCs of Bullying, and one of the team members recently visited my sons' school to talk to all of the grades. He really was fantastic, funny and warm and very tuned in to kids. The program focuses on what kids can do to help and support each other against bullying and looks at Action, Bravery, and Compassion - telling an adult, not looking the other way, and caring for their classmates. Making it uncool to bully others, promoting the concept of working as a team and looking out for each other. It could be worth seeing if she could get the school on their program of visits.
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Old 02-13-2013, 07:48 AM
 
12,619 posts, read 28,120,827 times
Reputation: 7155
In our elementary schools this would be handed over to the Principal and school psychologist.
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Old 02-13-2013, 12:20 PM
 
28 posts, read 70,003 times
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I want to add that this is a school in a high need district. The parents are rarely if ever involved, my mom watches the kids as much as humanly possible but when there are 23 other students it isn't always possible to see every single students movements. This specific incident was a time when kids were set a few at a time to get their belongings for dismissal.

My mom tries to get the principal involve but she does not like to suspend students and at the end of the day she doesn't do much. My mom is now getting the support of the new AP

She does reward kids for good behavior, however this specific group of kids do not care. They are the class that is happy with a 30, they talk back, they say they don't care ad will protest doing the work etc; so they dot care about rewards. And big rewards such as a pizza party are not allowed.


Thanks for all of the links I will show then to her, we were thinkin of a lesson.

The schools psychologist is PT and isn't much of a help( she has been invoked in other things before)


Again, with the districts budget cuts and lack of resources extra help is not possible.
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