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I guess I agree to disagree.
I wasn't bothering her, we didn't hunt her down in the grocery store or the Y. She was RIGHT there when we were standing at the desk. She has an obligation to NOT BE RUDE.
At the soccer field, if I would have known beforehand that this particular teacher prefers to not be " bothered" ( and I use that term lightly) by her students, I would have discouraged my daughter from approaching her.
If my daughter was in high school & this was her 2nd grade teacher, okay, I get it, sure, she doesn't need to talk to her, or remember her for that matter. This was her teacher at the time we saw her on the soccer field.
I am sure , all of us who work, sometimes don't want to have to have a conversation with co-workers outside of work, or suppliers or clients or whomever, but again & obviously this is my sole opinion thus far in here, she is a teacher. These are elementary school children. For gods sake, just say hello. There is no obligation of course, but it is a teaching time for me then, to teach my children the difference between being rude & being polite.
I would never disrespect my child's teacher in front of her or speak ill of her teacher to her, but yes, from now on, I will discourage her from talking to her. Even if we bump right into her at the Y.
Obviously again, I agree to disagree.
avoiding you is not rude, she has no such obligation.
her only obligation to you outside of school is to do you no harm, which she didn't.
just let it go, make amends with whatever is causing you to be so bitter in life and just do well.
Common courtesy is saying "hello". She is in a public place, we are not intruding on her personal space. give me a break.
The world of course does NOT revolve around my child's feelings & I of course did tell my daughter that she ( her teacher) was probably just busy.
All I am saying is that it takes more effort for her to avoid her students then it would be for her to just be pleasant & say a brief " Hello, Susie, how are you, it is nice to see you" that's it.
I am a teacher who says 'hi' to my kids when I see them in public. Most often... they gasp in shock and stand there startled as if they expected I lived in a tent in my classroom when they weren't there rather than that I might occasionally go to some exotic location like the grocery store... but I digress...
I think you are taking this too personally and I think being a teacher does not require that one be a saint more than any other profession. Nor does living in a community require one be "on" all the time. This is as silly as the idea celebrities must be dressed to the nines at all hours and in a full face of makeup with their hair blown out, whether on the red carpet or rushing to the grocery store at 6 AM in sweatpants to get medicine for a sick baby. Teachers have bad days. Some teachers are not particularly social creatures. Some teachers who are introverts may be working their very hardest to make the classroom a wonderful place for kids and just need to decompress when they're on "their" time.
As for why this lady ran off? Who knows. Maybe she was having bathroom issues and needed to get home or to a toilet pronto. Maybe she had to be somewhere immediately and worried if she stopped to say 'hi', you were going to get chatty. Maybe she was just having a bad day. But as long as she was a decent teacher to your child in the classroom, I would give a little slack to her peculiarities, just like when your daughter was in her room, she probably gave a little slack to hers.
Wow. You know, I have always been happy to see my students, present and former, out and about. And I always talk to them when I do see them, but understand something, I am not required to do so. She has every right to her space and privacy. She has no obligation to talk to your child outside of the school environment. When you saw the teacher trying to avoid your child you should have told your child "Mrs. So-and-so is busy right now doing something with her daughter, please leave her alone." Believe it or not, some teachers' children get tired of sharing their mother with every child under the sun, especially when they are supposed to be spending time with them. I've had friends who have had that problem and one of my own occasionally would get annoyed about it. This would have been a good opportunity for you to teach your child to respect the privacy and space of others when they give off signals that they don't want to be disturbed. It's called common courtesy, and it is a very valuable skill for every person to learn.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayerdu
I understand the OP feelings, but...see it from the teacher's POV.
First, I was a teacher for 10 years -8 of those at a private school. So, unless I wanted to have a ridiculous commute living within the school's population perimeter was essential for quality of life.
Now, when I taught and saw students -both past and present- and parents, I would not go out of my way to talk to or recognize them. Why? Well, it was because I was trying to be rude -not at all. It was because those students and parents who would approach me or want to be recognized are the ones that generally start up long winded conversations. I have been interrupted during dinners, at the movie, shopping, etc. by parents especially. They are always nice and positive, but they are very imposing and unable to recognize that what they are doing. The last thing I want to have is an mini parent-teacher conference when I m having dinner with my husband or using the bathroom during a movie intermission.
When I have seen students out and about and they just give me a quick "hi", I could tell they were just as uncomfortable as me and wanted to avoid an awkward situation.
I honestly don't think the teacher was trying to be rude.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kitkatbar
I am a teacher who says 'hi' to my kids when I see them in public. Most often... they gasp in shock and stand there startled as if they expected I lived in a tent in my classroom when they weren't there rather than that I might occasionally go to some exotic location like the grocery store... but I digress...
I think you are taking this too personally and I think being a teacher does not require that one be a saint more than any other profession. Nor does living in a community require one be "on" all the time. This is as silly as the idea celebrities must be dressed to the nines at all hours and in a full face of makeup with their hair blown out, whether on the red carpet or rushing to the grocery store at 6 AM in sweatpants to get medicine for a sick baby. Teachers have bad days. Some teachers are not particularly social creatures. Some teachers who are introverts may be working their very hardest to make the classroom a wonderful place for kids and just need to decompress when they're on "their" time.
As for why this lady ran off? Who knows. Maybe she was having bathroom issues and needed to get home or to a toilet pronto. Maybe she had to be somewhere immediately and worried if she stopped to say 'hi', you were going to get chatty. Maybe she was just having a bad day. But as long as she was a decent teacher to your child in the classroom, I would give a little slack to her peculiarities, just like when your daughter was in her room, she probably gave a little slack to hers.
Excellent posts.
Usually, I say a friendly "hello" to current and former students but remember that teachers are not robots. I can tell you a few stories that may give you a different perspective on this issue.
There was the time that I stopped at the drug store to pick up a doctor's prescription. A parent saw me there, in the middle of the day, and told some of the other parents and my boss that I had lied about "being sick that day and was actually 'out shopping all day' ."
Then there was the time that I ran into a former student's parent at a gas station. She chastised me for not smiling. What she didn't know was that I was on my way home from my mother's funeral and it was surprising that I wasn't hysterically crying instead of just "not smiling enough" to suit her.
My husband had just had surgery for cancer and the prognosis was poor and I did not attend an afterschool, totally voluntary, optional for teachers PTA activity. The parent of one of my students was extremely angry with me that I didn't attend that activity as her "child missed seeing me there". I was with my seriously ill husband in the hospital at the time of the event.
Then there was the time that a parent had missed parent conference time so she decided that the perfect time to hold a replacement conference was when she saw me at her place of employment (she was a janitor at the YMCA). Well, I was not interested in holding a conference in the women's locker room while I was changing for a class.
I was totally, completely, stark naked (just before I put on my swim suit) and this parent wanted to actually discuss, in depth, her child's reading level, behavior, etc. And, the parent was upset when I told her that she should call me at school to set up an actual conference at school.
Plus one more big one.
There was the time that a parent told me that I was being "selfish and irresponsible to have a baby and take off of work for a few weeks forcing her child to have a substitute teacher".
And, you wonder why teachers are not always extremely delighted to see and speak to every student and former student and their parents, forever and ever and ever.
BTW I have also had parents try to talk with me while I was sitting on a toilet in a restaurant bathroom. Can't I even have some privacy while I'm trying to pee? Sheesh
Last edited by germaine2626; 10-11-2013 at 08:11 PM..
Lord only knows what's going on in that teacher's life outside of school. She deserves to be cut some slack. You don't know what was going on with her right before you and your kid approached her. And honestly, the fact that you're aggravated enough to be complaining online about how she wasn't gregarious enough outside of work hints to me that maybe she had good reason to be reluctant to socialize.
Teachers are professionals who provide a specific necessary service, and it boggles my mind the sense of entitlement some folks have about the teacher's personal life and personal time. A friend of mine was a SpEd teacher, and he had a parent pitch a fit about the school's unwillingness to do an IEP conference at 8 pm. Another teacher friend of ours had some parents get super upset that they saw her drinking in a bar on a weekend. Ridiculous.
Honestly, if you know someone and run into them in the community don't you expect them to say hello? I think that regardless of their profession it is common courtesy to say hello to people you know.
Sigh. No, teachers need to be spot on, 24-7. Don't leave the house without flawless makeup, and always be in a cheerful mood, pleasant, and happy to spend more time with children.
I suggest those rude teachers be written up, and fired.
Maybe in the past she's had parent's come up to her and talk about their child's performance in the classroom (which is the wrong time to do so).
Maybe she has things going on outside of school that are distracting her or upsetting her. She just wants some privacy. Leave her alone. Don't go out of your way to say, greet her. Only say "hi" if you cross paths (i.e. you bump into each other in the grocery aisle).
Honestly, if you know someone and run into them in the community don't you expect them to say hello? I think that regardless of their profession it is common courtesy to say hello to people you know.
No.
The average high school teacher sees thousands of students in their career. If they had to stop and say hello to every student and every parent they would be doing little else and it can be very intrusive to family/personal time. I can tell you that saying hello, is seen as many parents as an invitation to have a conference about their child even though I am not working. So yes, we may have learned that if we don't want to be put on the spot to ignore parents and kids.
My daughters pediatrician lives in our neighborhood. I would frequently see him with his own children at games. I would deliberately discourage my daughter from bothering him while he out with his own family. It is something parents don't want to hear but your children, whether student or patients, do not come before our own children when we are off the clock. I know that many parents think "but it's just MY child" but we have hundreds maybe thousands of student, former students, parents, etc in our lives while you only have a few dozen on teachers at most. It is not remotely the same scale of disruption.
Most teachers like to run into their students (unless you happen to be on your way to the club in a totally inappropriate mini-dress, or sneaking out to the 7-11 in pajama pants). My dad was a teacher in a very small town, and it was kind of like growing up with a rock star. Everywhere we went someone was running up to him, all excited to see him, and he always stopped to talk. We loved it.
I was a teacher too, and I completely disagree with the poster who felt inconvenienced by it. I don't mind at all seeing students and saying hello - I think it's just rude not to, and the sign of a generally rude and unfriendly person.
Honestly, if you know someone and run into them in the community don't you expect them to say hello? I think that regardless of their profession it is common courtesy to say hello to people you know.
I agree. Acknowledging someone you know is just basic manners.
If someone comes up to you and starts a conference right there, can't you excuse yourself in a polite fashion? I would imagine that's a skill that teachers, doctors, dentists, plastic surgeons etc have to master early on. Kinda goes with the territory. But no need to hurt a child's feelings because they have inconsiderate parents.
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