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A year of being one of the older kids in a pre-K program won't be the worst thing in the world. In pre-k programs with which I've been affiliated, the kids in this position, who were almost old enough to start kindergarten, are ready to take on additional challenges and arrive in kindergarten even more prepared. They are often natural leaders, and good examples for the younger kids, as opposed to emulating the behavior of the younger kids.
Hey you all - I am sure this has come up many many times . I have a child who misses the Kindergarten cut off by 1 Month in the new city we are moving. The new school tested the kid and did very well on the entering K test. All above expectations. She is a otherwise very mature kids and always plays with older kids without any problem. We toured the class and apart from 2 other kids who are similar to mine , rest 'look' older. Any advise on experiences if to put her in Pre-K or K . The private school mentioned that if she goes to Pre-K , this whole year she will not learn anything as she is already ahead. I worry about the social issues.. now AND later
My youngest has a January birthday. I expected him to be one of the oldest in his pre-k 4 year old class, but that wasn't the case. He was one of the youngest.
I learned this by having a short discussion with his teacher about something (don't remember) and I had said that he had turned 5 in January and she said, "he JUST turned 5, the majority of the class have been 5 and already turned 6 or are turning 6 this spring" (something like that). In Pre-k 4 , at an excellent and well known private school in the state I live in.
So what ended up happening in Kindergarten was that he and his fellow "age appropriate" classmates were not on the same page as their classmates who had turned 6 in the late spring/over the summer/early fall. There was an assistant in the class and she would sit with these 3 or 4 (class of 10) and "help" them, while their older counterparts/classmates were being taught by the teacher (reading/math). I also don't think it helped that the majority of the children in the class were first borns and/or onlies...with parents my age or only a few years younger, and I had my youngest when I was 38.
He's now in 1st grade and doing well but I did a lot of work with him this summer to "catch him up". His confidence level was shot in pre-k.
I don't know if your daughter will experience this or not but as I mentioned above, it can be very taxing on a child's confidence if they are not "doing" what the rest of their classmates are, who are a good 8-9 months older than they are. Especially if the class size is small. And when children are that young, even 6 months can make a difference in abilities - including the ability to emotionally cope in a "proper" manner.
As parents we always doubt ourselves when it comes to our children and what we do for them, how we "parent" them, etc. It's not easy and these kids don't come with instructions, just like we didn't. But we turned out ok, for the most part, right? Especially if we question if we're making the "right decision" for our children.
Last edited by Informed Info; 09-24-2014 at 10:36 PM..
A year of being one of the older kids in a pre-K program won't be the worst thing in the world. In pre-k programs with which I've been affiliated, the kids in this position, who were almost old enough to start kindergarten, are ready to take on additional challenges and arrive in kindergarten even more prepared. They are often natural leaders, and good examples for the younger kids, as opposed to emulating the behavior of the younger kids.
I'm not sure that's all so positive. It's probably great for the older kid who gets to be the leader and gets all the accolades, but what about the others? As a parent of one who was younger for her grade, it was frustrating to see teachers fawn over these older kids, and treat the younger ones like they were babies. Teachers seem to like the older kids, especially in the early grades, b/c they are naturally more mature.
Teachers will ALWAYS appreciate students they don't have to spend a lot of time with addressing behavioral concerns, which can be (though is certainly not always) the case with the students who skew older and are a bit developmentally ahead, accordingly. That doesn't mean that they don't like the younger students who may require more guidance, however.
My most recent program combined threes and fours, which, depending on whether you are a recently-turned-three kid or an almost-five kid, that still encompasses an age span where LOADS of development occurs, moreso than at almost any other age. The biggest issue I had with the older, slightly more mature students was their propensity (again, not in all cases, but in many) to be bossy. Whether they are new threes or almost fives, they're still just kids, and act it. Being a slightly more mature nearly five-year old or new five year old is STILL just being a five-year old.
Well said all of you and so so thoughtful . @[SIZE=5]Sawdustmaker[/SIZE] , No I did not get a chance to see the test. The director took my daughter in and came out with a printed out result sheet which had few abilities checked for Reading and Math .
Based on all the suggestions and after mulling over it , we have decided to put her in K this year and see how it goes . Ofcourse watch closely the social part ( hand holding with the friend making etc ) .
Again , appreciate all of you giving your valuable opinion and also understanding this parent's concern !
Well said all of you and so so thoughtful . @[SIZE=5]Sawdustmaker[/SIZE] , No I did not get a chance to see the test. The director took my daughter in and came out with a printed out result sheet which had few abilities checked for Reading and Math .
Based on all the suggestions and after mulling over it , we have decided to put her in K this year and see how it goes . Ofcourse watch closely the social part ( hand holding with the friend making etc ) .
Again , appreciate all of you giving your valuable opinion and also understanding this parent's concern !
I deleted that part of my post b/c when I read it back it sounded obnoxious, and that was not my intent.
Your daughter will do just fine. She has parents who care about her well being in every way/shape/form, and you can't beat that.
it can be very taxing on a child's confidence if they are not "doing" what the rest of their classmates are, who are a good 8-9 months older than they are. And when children are that young, even 6 months can make a difference in abilities - including the ability to emotionally cope in a "proper" manner.
This is so true. Our youngest was just turning 5 the week after kindergarten started and she passed the "assessment test." (Never mind that it tested for academic ability, not emotional maturity, which we didn't know.) The teacher figured out during the first 6 weeks that while she could do the work, she could not hold scissors firmly, preferred to play outside vs finish her desk work, etc, etc. All of her friends were 9-11 months older and the maturity level while observing them was astounding. (She ended up repeating kindergarten.)
Our daughter just made the cutoff by one week to start kindergarten. She is now 23 in grad school. Academically she has alway been ahead of her peers. Socially...
We started homeschooling in 4th grade because we have a school district that is documented to be very poor and she tests in the gifted range. So we were at opposite ends of the spectrum. She is also an only child or older parents.
Pros...she excels at self motivation for doing any work, academic or otherwise. She is comfortable in a room of adults, able to engage in conversation. Some of her best friends are adults in their 40s and 50s, even our 89 year old retired mathematician neighbor.
Cons...mostly documented for gifted women in general but here's her list...
Self-doubt, even now, that I believe started with her kindergaten teacher who held back our daughter and one other girl with the same birthdate because she considered them to be socially immature. I believe it was less emotionally mature, but that might be too picky, no matter how important.
Uncomfortable with her peers, especially guys now. She has always been a bit more mature and I chalk it up to being more well-read than most kids. However, perceiving your peers as being not up to your standards is a difficult road to navigate. Guys mature later than girls but seem to want the physical relationships much sooner as teenagers. Our daughter, being less emotionally mature, decided that she liked the "bad boy" image in her relationships. She still follows this rut a bit even now. It may take her a while to figure out that the good guys have better odds of finishing on top. But she has plenty of time, nothing bad has really happened...just lots of unfulfilling relationships without that "one" mutually beneficial, sends you flowers, loves you for the real you...guy.
Almost has too many career options. She has decided to finish grad school, move back home for some minor medical surgery, and take the time while recuperating to apply for some internships in her field and just have the time to listen to her own thoughts, know what she is really wanting from her adult life.
Although she was more socially mature than her peers, her lack of emotional maturity has been somewhat painful for her over the years. She was fine during the usually terrible twos, but threw fits when she was four. Sixteen was easy. Eighteen to twenty just about killed us. At eighteen she decided to go out to the canyon drinking, etc with the friends who had just graduated high school and were not moving away for college. Those relationships persisted for a couple of years (a very few of these friends hang on even now) while she attended the local university to finish her undergrad at twenty. We thought about having her transfer to a bigger university out of town, but she had started her degree here at home when she was 16 and wanted to finish it here. So most of the smarter crowd sho started college at 18 decided to start new adventures at out of state schools after high school. She stayed home to finish and ended up with some less-than-desireable friends left behind from the high school crowd. So you have a child that is old enough to drive but underage for drinking, hanging around with the wrong crowd. She didn't experiment with the college co-horts who were 20+, but seemed to be stuck to her own age peer group. Now in grad school her co-horts are mostly married and some with kids, had jobs then went back to grad school, 30-ish mostly. Again she is going for the dates with undergraduate guys or guys working at the local cell phone store. The older guys want someone who knows themselves well, maybe even ready to be married. She is neither at 23. She has tried to be something different to every guy she's met, that she has lost sight of who she really is and what she wants in relationships. She is still looking for that first fulfilling relationship. I amconfident she will find it when she finds herself.
The bottom line, asynchrony in academic, emotional, and social skills presents challenges. As a parent you really only have a say in what they do until they are 18. Our daughter respects us but there have been times she has chosen to defy us. She is still struggling in one aspect of her life but I have confidence that it will all work out over the next few years. Only time will tell. I suspect she will find an older and wiser guy who will convince her to let the wall of "needign to be accepted" down, love her for her intelligence and person that she is, without any change. He will tell her to drop the BS and show him the real person in there. JM2C
^^I'm not sure all the above is due to starting school young. This sentence fragment is particularly telling:
Quote:
perceiving your peers as being not up to your standards is a difficult road to navigate
I don't know quite what to say about that!
I find this odd:
Quote:
Now in grad school her co-horts are mostly married and some with kids, had jobs then went back to grad school, 30-ish mostly.
My oldest went to grad school straight out of college; she was one of the younger ones of her class, but not the only young one. Very few of her classmates were married, even the ones who were older.
23 is young. Maybe she'll mellow out.
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