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Old 01-27-2008, 07:56 PM
22 posts, read 61,665 times
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Our elementary school uses a Silent Lunch (eat at a desk by yourself, facing the wall in the lunch room separate from all the other students) as a consequence for behavior. My First Grader was given it for breaking three classroom rules in a day(talking during class twice, and hitting at the back of the backpack of the student in front of her in the bus line).

This seems too much like public humiliation to me. Please don't get me wrong, I strongly support consequences for behavior, but this seems wrong to me, especially for a 6 1/2 year old. I can understand it's use if they are misbehaving in the lunchroom, but for something totally unrelated and where all the other students are going to be walking by and taking notice?

Any thoughts or opinions?
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Old 01-28-2008, 12:54 PM
Location: Southeast
625 posts, read 3,981,456 times
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I was paddled in school for doing less than he did, so I don't see anything wrong with this type of "humiliation" punishment...if he's smart then he'll only have to do it once, right? You should also be punishing him at home for what he does at school-double punishment. Too many unruly kids running around these days-parents think their spawn can do no wrong...
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Old 01-28-2008, 01:23 PM
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Agree with scottv, I'd rather have the silent lunch than a whuppin'.

Just about every punishment a teacher can administer is going to be public - so humiliation of some sort is a consequence of the child's bad behavior.

Did it work? It sure did with my niece, she loves to socialize at lunch...

So did having to sit alone in a classroom during recess. And having to turn her desk around to face the wall (the teacher put tennis balls on all the chair legs to make it easy and noiseless). And not getting enough gold stars during the week to earn a Friday treat.
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Old 01-28-2008, 02:28 PM
Location: TN, to AK one day
279 posts, read 698,589 times
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in my last year of non-homeschool, 5th grade, i had to sit at a separate table for the entire year (starting early on, like sept-oct) because i went under the table to retrieve a fork, except i didnt have to face the wall. i liked it though, the teachers usually left a newspaper there and id look thru it while eating, and i like being by myself anyway...so i dunno how itd be for punishment. might not be entirely effective though
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Old 02-02-2008, 10:14 AM
63 posts, read 289,469 times
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it seems counterproductive to me to punish a 6 year old for talking during inappropriate times by disallowing her to talk during appropriate times--doesn't that seem like it would make it even more uncontrollable in class if she has had no outlet all day to talk socially? additionally, at 6 years old, i don't think it's appropriate to have such a delayed punishment. i think a punishment that's unrelated to the infraction can be effective, but, for someone six years old, a long delayed punishment does not.
i have two little girls, toddler and preschooler. my preschooler is very well behaved and i know that's because i have an expectation of good behavior and because i'm thoughtful in how she is disciplined to make it constructive for future better behavior, not merely punishment. it doesn't sound like the teacher is very thoughtful in this. rather, a one punishment at one time of day (lunch) fits all infractions sounds like his/her approach. to be fair, it would be totally exhausting to be that thoughtful with a passel of kids all day long. additionally, school days are so packed with test preparation etc., when else is there time for a child to punished? i don't think parents can expect that level of thoughtfulness from a teacher because of the nature of institutionalized education.
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Old 02-02-2008, 10:44 AM
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Originally Posted by 4wainwrights View Post
h i don't think parents can expect that level of thoughtfulness from a teacher because of the nature of institutionalized education.
How thoughtful is it to make sweeping assumptions about teachers and using terms like "institutionalized education"?

I realize homeschooling has the potential for many advantages. The truth is, so does public school, but no school or parent can live up to their full potential every moment of every day.

This is why it's pointless to compare a school based on one bad call, to homeschooling based on an ideal scenario.

I attended public school and was blessed to have many, many wonderful teachers who genuinely changed my life. I also had involved parents who were involved in my education. My husband and I are trying to do the same thing with our children.

To discount the ability of a school teacher to make "thoughful decisions" feels more like propaganda than a reasoned observation.

I would say this- there is no perfect school. No perfect teacher. No perfect student. No perfect education. All we can do as parents is find the best learning situation for our kids and respect other families who are just trying to do the same.

I have no doubt you are a caring involved parent. Why can't we discuss disciplinary methods without resorting to using buzzwords and thinly veiled attacks?
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Old 02-02-2008, 10:55 AM
Location: Blackwater Park
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I really don't have a problem with it.
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Old 02-02-2008, 03:16 PM
63 posts, read 289,469 times
Reputation: 53
i'm not attacking anyone or anything. i'm sharing my opinion with the parent who asked anyone's opinion on the issue of an unrelated punishment brough to bear on her daughter in school. maybe it was my use of the term "thoughtful" punishment. i do take note that "thoughtful" can connote a teacher's heart or something to that effect. the way i was using "thoughtful" was as in all of the thought that's necessary to try and figure out what needs to be done not just to punish for the infraction but to also change the person's behavior in the future. i'm sorry that i offended the poster above.

the energy it takes to continually think about a constructive discipline, especially when you're just tired of someone misbehaving "all" day, is sometimes exhausting to me, a stay at home mom, with only one preschooler who is generally well behaved. as i tried to communicate in my last post, i see it as nearly, if not fully, impossible for one adult to do that with an entire classroom population and i don't think that a parent can reasonably expect that a teacher can think of a constructive/thoughtful/creative/individual disciplinary action for each infraction for each student.
additionally, school is about the curriculum and making sure that each and every student is prepared for what's next. a teacher would never have the time to stop the class each time a child disobeyed a rule. in this case, one child of a classroom full of children broke the rules at least 3 times before lunch. if a teacher was to stop every single student's progress through the day to create and dispense a tailor made/future thinking/big picture consequence for every single infraction by every single student, there wouldn't be anything else going on in the classroom.
i don't think that the particular punishment was constructive either in the short term or the long term. however, a parent cannot expect a teacher with a classroom full of people and a lesson plan to come up with individually designed forward thinking disciplinary actions. lunch time is a time when the teacher and students don't have to get things done. none of the kids, including the kid who broke the rules, are being held back in their academic progress by punishing during the lunch. i don't think that it's a very effectual punishment; but i don't see any other alternatives due to the nature of the classroom.
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Old 02-02-2008, 05:08 PM
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Thanks for responding. I definitely see your point. I think I took the term "institutionalized education" as a slam, and got derailed
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Old 02-02-2008, 09:10 PM
63 posts, read 289,469 times
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akm--i'm glad that i came across the way that i meant to, even if it took two attempts. i guess being brief in writing is treacherous (:
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