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I don't think there is anything wrong with this and I have a 2nd grader. I think a big problem we have in our society is that we think everything is going to hurt a child's self esteem therefore, no punishment or consequences ever occur. It's not different than time out. And what type of punishment/consequence can be given in a classroom full of children that all the kids won't see? I distinctly remember having to sit in the hall in first grade for talking too much. It didn't break my spirit. I went on to graduate from college and become a contributing member of society. The most eating lunch quietly at her desk did was hurt the OP daughter's feelings, which she will get over. The OP is probably upset her daughter got in trouble and would have issues with whatever the consequence was. Not being accusatory but stating what I think. None of like to see our kids punished but I support the teachers in their choices. They are the ones with the kids all day not me. I do not agree with punishing a whole class. That's completely ridiculous.
Twiggy, you really shouldn't have to bite your lip. Find a tactful way to say what you think (this coming from me?, re: the 'humiliation' comment -- sorry).
My Father was a Marine Corps drill sergeant when I was a child, and he disciplined us three girls as if we were his recruits. It didn't work. Well, it did, in the sense we didn't like our Dad, steered clear of him, and tried not to do things that would set him off. He often punished the three of us for something one had done, and as the eldest I always got the you-set-the-example lecture. We resented our father and his method of discipline. He was also heavy-handed, and I recall many a time sitting at the breakfast table, looking at his hands, and 'hating' them.
As a parent, I vowed NEVER to discipline my own child like that. I was not opposed to anyone's correcting her, but I might take issue with the manner in which it was done.
There is NO excuse for a teacher to punish an entire class for the actions of 1 or 10, and I am surprised the teacher in question hasn't gotten called on the carpet over keeping the entire class from recess, which in most districts is mandated as a part of the school day. If I had to, the 1 or 10 or even 20 children who had misbehaved would sit with me on the playground, while the others could have some free time.
I don't think there is anything wrong with this and I have a 2nd grader. I think a big problem we have in our society is that we think everything is going to hurt a child's self esteem therefore, no punishment or consequences ever occur. It's not different than time out. And what type of punishment/consequence can be given in a classroom full of children that all the kids won't see? I distinctly remember having to sit in the hall in first grade for talking too much. It didn't break my spirit. I went on to graduate from college and become a contributing member of society. The most eating lunch quietly at her desk did was hurt the OP daughter's feelings, which she will get over. The OP is probably upset her daughter got in trouble and would have issues with whatever the consequence was. Not being accusatory but stating what I think. None of like to see our kids punished but I support the teachers in their choices. They are the ones with the kids all day not me. I do not agree with punishing a whole class. That's completely ridiculous.
You didn't read the original post. The daughter wasn't eating lunch at her desk in her classroom -- she was singled out before the entire school and forced to eat silent lunch alone in the cafeteria in front of the entire student body. Not cool.
Isolation in the classroom is one thing, and may be appropriate under certain circumstances. Public isolation in front of the entire school -- unacceptable.
I don't think there is anything wrong with this and I have a 2nd grader. I think a big problem we have in our society is that we think everything is going to hurt a child's self esteem therefore, no punishment or consequences ever occur. It's not different than time out. And what type of punishment/consequence can be given in a classroom full of children that all the kids won't see? I distinctly remember having to sit in the hall in first grade for talking too much. It didn't break my spirit. I went on to graduate from college and become a contributing member of society. The most eating lunch quietly at her desk did was hurt the OP daughter's feelings, which she will get over. The OP is probably upset her daughter got in trouble and would have issues with whatever the consequence was. Not being accusatory but stating what I think. None of like to see our kids punished but I support the teachers in their choices. They are the ones with the kids all day not me. I do not agree with punishing a whole class. That's completely ridiculous.
I have to agree. The teacher is going to have the same kid you have everyday. Whatever problems you solve with your child everyday, they will too. So, you should know ahead of time what trouble they will probably get into. You can talk to most teachers about the kind of punishment you won't tolerate as well. No spanking, no wall facing, etc. They will come up with an alternative. I think if it were up to them they wish they would all just get along and have a smooth day. Do they still allow spanking, I would think not? Sorry, but I have been out of the elementary school thing for 10 years.
You get the picture I'm sure.
Austinsmom, you obviously didn't read my post. I specifically said I support consequences and believed she deserved one. The problem I had was with her serving her consequence in front of the majority of the school, not just her class, or even grade for that matter. Do you know how intimidating that could be to a First Grader? Is that the purpose? Sorry, that's wrong. Why not put her in a corner with a dunce hat on and let everyone walk by and point and laugh?
For what it's worth, the consequence didn't seem to work, since she continued to misbehave the remainder of that day, walked laps at lunch and then peed her pants (which she's never done). What motivated change in her behavior was a private lunch date with the teacher's if she could go so many days without being reprimanded. That was her teacher's idea, not mine, but it worked like a charm.
I am not a parent. I like children but only well behaved ones - unless I initiate the act of getting into mischief and can talk a little one in joining me. Sorry, I digress...
I disagree with delayed disciplinary measures of any kind. I also disagree with isolation or public humiliation of children. Isn't that a lot like the public stockades used for criminals during medieval times? Medieval Stockade And wasn't that abolished?
I personally believe public humliation is effective in making a child even more anti-social than before. It will open him/her up to further abuse by ridicule outside the lunchroom and other children may steer clear of the child because they aren't allowed to play with "bad" children.
What was wrong with detention? What was wrong with cleaning the chalkboard and erasers after school? What was wrong with having to do an additional class report and present it orally to the class? What was wrong with being the last to know that your parents were advised of your misconduct and letting them handle it? What was wrong with no dessert for a week? What was wrong with having to wash the car or vacuum the house before being allowed to go out on Saturday?
I suffered all those disciplinary measures and I didn't turn out too bad. Did I?
I have to say, punishment at elementary schools both private and public needs to be carefully implemented!! There is definitely a fine line between punishing bad behavior and humiliating and demeaning the child! Dont be fooled that all teachers are looking out for the best interest of the children they have in their care. Teachers are human too, and come to class with their own set of personal/psychological issues. Be careful, not to immediately defend/ take teachers side....look at all the issues with our kids today! Teachers blame behavior, antisocial, insensitivity and on and on...on the parents "raising" their kids! Our children spend more time in their care than at home!! So shouldnt THEY be careful in how they conduct themselves and treat others!! I feel some teachers take their position of authority as a chance to make themselves feel important!! I am a registered nurse, mostly pediatrics, should I have made all my patients who were misbehaving in their hospital beds go sit in a corner with their lunch tray? Would this have been acceptable? What ever happened to all the promises schools make with their mission statements to provide a "healthy, nurturing" environment to learn?
Sorry, even after reading the posts carefully, I have to agree with austinmom. There is far too much emphasis on "self esteem" nowadays that children become traumatized when the real world hits them in their teenage/late teen years. The sheltering at extreme levels by some parents are exactly what causes the "me me me" attitude of those in my generation (early 20's) today. It's also why today's mid-teens have the emo subculture, because suddenly mommy and daddy isn't there to protect their self esteem anymore and the slap of reality becomes much harder to swallow.
If self esteem is what people are worried about, they need to look at the environment out of school--at home--rather than think school is the deciding factor of what guides a child's growth. If a child has a stable and warm and loving home environment, monkeys could be running the school and the child would have the emotional backing to withstand the chaos.
At any rate, I'm just giving my opinion---not telling you how to raise your child, so don't anyone get defensive :P
I just know that my little girl or boy (when I have one) is going to be a tough little soldier.
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