U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Education
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-28-2008, 07:49 AM
 
22 posts, read 61,629 times
Reputation: 26

Advertisements

Our elementary school uses a Silent Lunch (eat at a desk by yourself, facing the wall in the lunch room separate from all the other students) as a consequence for behavior. My First Grader was given it for breaking three classroom rules in a day(talking during class twice, and hitting at the back of the backpack of the student in front of her in the bus line).

This seems too much like public humiliation to me. Please don't get me wrong, I strongly support consequences for behavior, but this seems wrong to me, especially for a 6 1/2 year old. I can understand it's use if they are misbehaving in the lunchroom, but for something totally unrelated and where all the other students are going to be walking by and taking notice?

Any thoughts or opinions?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-28-2008, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 8,695,129 times
Reputation: 1368
Hmmm, that's a hard one. Yeah, it does seem a little humiliating to me, especially if the child is particularly sensitive to social situations. I know that as a kid I would have rather not eaten lunch than to have to sit like that. What would you suggest as an alternative punishment? Maybe come up with some options and talk to her teacher about it? Probably won't change anything, but you could at least try.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2008, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Piedmont NC
4,597 posts, read 10,225,966 times
Reputation: 9131
I'd almost think the teacher's goal would be better met, isolating the child at lunch, in a separate classroom perhaps. As a retired teacher, certified K-12, and speaking as a parent, I am NOT one for public humiliation like that. If the punishment is an attempt to keep her from enjoying lunch with her peers, fine, but the punishment has nothing to do with being a student-at-large or her behavior in the cafeteria (which might have warranted being moved to a table by herself -- facing a wall is a little much).

I'd also want to know has the behavior with your daughter pushing or slapping another's backpack been on-going, or was this a first infraction? If on-going, seems behavior modification of another sort might be more effective -- counseling with the child one-on-one, letting a parent know of the behavior, asking the counselor for a suggestion or two. Even something as simple as finding an age and/or reading level appropriate book to send home to be read, dealing with acceptable v. unacceptable behavior.

Maybe the teacher was just frustrated her, or him, self? Which doesn't excuse that type of punishment, but may explain it.

Seems to me, the school needs to re-evaluate the silent lunch approach, and when it is appropriate and not. As a parent, I would not have wanted my child dealt with in that manner -- only if the inappropriate behavior had been IN the lunchroom itself.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2008, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Lower Hudson Valley, NY
313 posts, read 918,800 times
Reputation: 314
I think it's a bit much for a child so young. I am a middle school teacher and I am big on order, but I think that consequences MUST be age-appropriate.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2008, 10:06 AM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 8,695,129 times
Reputation: 1368
I remember when I was that age, that I hated having to write sentences.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2008, 10:11 AM
 
22 posts, read 61,629 times
Reputation: 26
Default Appropriate Consequences for Elementary Kids

Thank you so much for your replies. They are very helpful.

Just to clarify, hitting the backpack was, in her eyes, all in fun. She's constantly seeking attention, but that's another matter. She is frequently reprimanded for talking at inappropriate times and/or doing something to gain the attention of her teacher and/or peers. We're working hard at home and with the school to remedy that, but so far have been unsuccessful. She does great academically. Following rules is another matter.

It's not just about her. We are firm in consequences to behavior. However, I strongly disagree with this form of consequence unless it's related to behavior in the lunch room and am interested to find out if I'm out of line for thinking so.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2008, 01:26 PM
 
2,838 posts, read 8,842,146 times
Reputation: 2857
Totally unacceptable... and illogical. Let's see... a child is having a hard time sitting still and not talking... I know! Let's eliminate her chance for social interaction today! That will certainly help her to behave later today! Yippee, what a great idea! *eye roll*

Not out of line for you to think that's uncalled for. I'd contact the teacher and tell her that she is not to use that consequence for your child. (I feel kind of silly asking, but can you even do that? I don't send my own kids to school, so I can't imagine a situation where a teacher's preferences overrule a parent's right, but stranger things have happened in school.....)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-28-2008, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Western NY
43 posts, read 144,720 times
Reputation: 35
If I may add..

Right- wrong - or indifferent - please take this up with the teacher - not with your child. If you display dissatisfaction with the teacher to the child it could come out in negative behaviors - ultimately backfiring the whole process!

Also, as a teacher, if a parent was this upset over something I had done, I would want to know about it. There are so many facets to discipline. This could be a school rule, or a grade level rule. This could be something that 3 other parents have spoken about and you are the one the break the cycle.

Good luck!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2008, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Chicago
2,467 posts, read 11,118,164 times
Reputation: 851
Quote:
Originally Posted by NOtransplant View Post
Our elementary school uses a Silent Lunch (eat at a desk by yourself, facing the wall in the lunch room separate from all the other students) as a consequence for behavior. My First Grader was given it for breaking three classroom rules in a day(talking during class twice, and hitting at the back of the backpack of the student in front of her in the bus line).

This seems too much like public humiliation to me. Please don't get me wrong, I strongly support consequences for behavior, but this seems wrong to me, especially for a 6 1/2 year old. I can understand it's use if they are misbehaving in the lunchroom, but for something totally unrelated and where all the other students are going to be walking by and taking notice?

Any thoughts or opinions?

Here's the thing, she probably won't do it again if it was that "humiliating." You daughter broke 3 rules. She had 3 chances and didn't correct her behavior. I don't see anything wrong with the punishment, unless she really has severe social anxiety. This practice has been used in elementary schools for a long time (even when I was in school....same with seperating the desk in the classroom).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-29-2008, 08:43 AM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 8,695,129 times
Reputation: 1368
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessiegirl_98 View Post
Here's the thing, she probably won't do it again if it was that "humiliating." You daughter broke 3 rules. She had 3 chances and didn't correct her behavior. I don't see anything wrong with the punishment, unless she really has severe social anxiety. This practice has been used in elementary schools for a long time (even when I was in school....same with seperating the desk in the classroom).
I'll tell you why it's not appropriate...unless the child ranks high in the social pecking order of the school, this makes her a target for taunting and abuse by the other children. This kind of "punishment" would have been devastating for a child like me. I was always the smallest and the poorest and so I was already a target and just wanted to not be noticed or seen by any of the other kids, except for my very limited pool of friends. I lived my entire educational life trying to disappear and not be seen in order to avoid abuse.

Public humiliation is never a good choice of punishment for a child.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Education
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top