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Old 09-03-2017, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Florida
2,669 posts, read 2,250,639 times
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Quote:
My experience with socialization? My personal feeling is that highly structured activities where a parent remains in the same room watching a child like a hawk; is not really adequate social interaction. it's just another venue for a controlled environment & constant parental presence.
I'm not sure what this is referring to (and I agree with what you've written), but I do want to clarify that that's not how most homeschoolers I know "socialize," if that's what you were saying. Generally the moms are on one end of the playground and the kids are on the other. Or a mom is teaching a different co-op class than the one her kids are in. My kids were in classes that I dropped them off in whenever possible because I agree that helicoptering over them did them no favors. That seems to be the prevailing mindset among the homeschoolers I know. (I'm talking about kids over the age of 6/7.)

 
Old 09-04-2017, 07:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab View Post
Our school system has a strict anti bullying policy. They have several rally's that talk about what bullying is and what to do about it as well as what it means to be a good person overall. They extensively talk about it in class too. It's basically no tolerance and can lead up to expulsion.

I know many who home school and not one family does it because they had a problem with bullying. Most do it because they don't like the schools curriculum. However, that's another topic for another thread!
That's great. I'll keep reaching out and try to get some more piece of mind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
We mostly sought out small classes held privately. For instance, a woman who has published several books on teaching writing through readings in history lives in our area, and teaches weekly writing/history classes. We found an art teacher who taught small classes in her home, and a swimming instructor who came to our community pool to teach a small group. In this way we were able to have classes NOT taught by us, the parents, while still keeping the same group of kids together.

I will say though that since I started homeschooling, the popularity of charter programs has exploded. We never used one, but at this point I would say 80% of the homeschoolers we know, do. At least in California, these offer families a significant amount of money (over $2000/year per child, to be used at the family's discretion for school supplies, educational classes, field trips, etc.) and require minimal supervision.
I bet that's a good way to keep things interesting and enjoyable.

Thanks for the charter school input. I'll have to look into what is offered financially here in Washington. That'd be a big help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by history nerd View Post
If you have the personal wealth, extensive free time, personal knowledge and resources to home school good for you. Personally I am a huge believer in public school for a large variety of reasons. (Some of which are the exact things that scare people into homeschooling.) I believe in the idea of children not being the center of attention, having to deal with less than friendly kids on occasion, learning to succeed in a group environment even if that means they get less individualized instruction etc. But... That is a matter of personal philosophy.

If your main reason for homeschooling is bullying I would say to save your money/time/resources as bullying is on the decline from when we were kids... and we all turned out alright, right? I understand much better the parents who feel as though they can do a better job academically than their neighborhood school, or have fringe beliefs they want to instill, or have unique philosophical beliefs around what education should look like. (even if I disagree with them on these issues)
I agree to an extent with you. Giving our only child too much attention is going to be one of our biggest feats. That being said the reality of us home schooling because of fear of our child getting bullied isn't so. I framed this thread up wrong and it seems to be getting misinterpreted. Our main reasoning is we'd like to be able to tailor the curriculum as our child's interests show themselves over time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique View Post
There's still plenty of time to decide whether homeschooling is the preferred route for your daughter. She's still pretty young. My second daughter is extremely shy, introverted and we suspect she may be on the spectrum (Aspie). This is something I've known and observed since she was a very young toddler. She's also very bright and "nerdy," as some peers have said. I think I worried some as she progressed in grade school because that's when their personalities really come out and other peers start to notice differences in how other kids socialize. She and her best friend were targets of a bully in third grade. I believe that student was moved to another class mid-year. Both she and her friend are the quiet and studious types.

We have considered homeschooling her (or going through K-12) on a number of occasions. The main reason she wanted to wait and see this year is because she was hoping to get one of her favorite teachers. She has very few friends because she tends to keep to her self and prefers solitary activities (reading, drawing, etc.) to group activities. She finds most of the students in her class obnoxious.

I don't put a lot of stock into the notion that school is necessary to socialize with peers. Considering my older kids don't socialize much in class as they're introverts and quiet (also, the class environment in dd1's classes is more academic with little socializing), and have a few friends that hang out during breaks, they're not spending *that* much time socializing. (Dd1 transferred to a new middle school this year and spends lunchtime reading or listening to music)

This is something you'll have to observe as your daughter ages. My older two daughters are INFP introverts. They don't need to socialize with a lot of people. They find it exhausting, and they're also selective about the people they do interact with. My son is extroverted. He tends to be indiscriminate at his age, but that's typical for a lot of 2nd graders. If they're more extroverted, they just like socializing with a lot of people.

If you choose to homeschool eventually, you can join co-ops and communities. We live in a large city and with a lot of different groups, and because we're secular, we tend to stick with secular homeschooling groups.

Interestingly, my kids' school district just opened up a school called Unschool for 9th and 10th grade. We align with this philosophy and hope the school will expand to include middle school grades. The way the school is structured is said to promote cooperative learning in a mixed grade setting. This, coupled with the type of students it attracts, can be a great place for the self-directed and introverted learner.
Thanks for sharing your perspective. It's still a little early I think to decide on whether my daughter is an extrovert or introvert. Once the ice breaks she's fairly comfortable with people we are comfortable with. I read kids at the age of 3 are more into themselves and are just starting to share with other kids. These seems about right in her jungle gym class that's only 3 yo's.

Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi View Post
11 kids; 7 boys, 4 girls. Currently range in age from 13 to 31.

1 high-functioning ASD & 1 severe ASD. My kids have ranged from AP/Honor students to severe needs in SPED & everywhere inbetween.

All Colorado public schools. 5 received "supplemental" homeschooling for anywhere from 1 semester to 3 years. I still have 3 at home & attending public schools: 2 in 11th grade & 1 in the 8th grade.

I will add that I did not actually teach the homeschool program. That would have been a disaster.Some people have an inate ability to communicate in a way that teaches & I do not have that ability; despite being college educated with a degree. My mom is the one who taught the curriculum, as she was the one with degrees in education & had taught everything from elementary grades to the university level. I was skeptical at first. She wanted to do it & each child that she taught excelled in academics at least 2 grades ahead by the time they returned to public schools.

I will add that our school district does have a significant population of low-income & ESL students, with several schools having received Title 1 designation. It is the only district in our area that covers urban (inner-city) regions as well as suburban or rural. It suffers the inattention of aging resident voters regarding mill-levy opportunities, while the districts serving areas of suburban sprawl benefit from the younger families they attract.

In the end; none of this has mattered. As with everything else in life; you get out of it what you put into it.

For families that insist on education as a priority, there can be some benefits in attending public schools with disadvantaged demographics. Many are eligible for & have received grants & funding for programs that are proven to boost student success & enrichment. This is money that cannot go to the football team, remodeling projects or into general-use accounts. Instead; a district may opt for hiring highly qualified teachers for early childhood education & offer the community free preschool for all children ages 3-5, including special needs. It may provide technology advantages typically found only in private or high-income district schools; such as free cellular wi-fi enabled iPads for every student or scholarships for enrichment programs.

Regarding bullying? My 3 oldest did attend school for a couple of years in the district that serves the highest-income households in our area. My impression was that students were at a HIGHER risk of bullying there, than in the disadvantaged districts. There is more potential for the bar to be set impossibly high in wealthy schools vs a lower-income school; where not having the latest iPhone & social media accounts at age 10 is the norm rather than the status quo.

It was very rare that any of mine either witnessed or experienced bullying in elementary school. All of mine witnessed bullying in middle school & then in high school those incidents dropped back to a "rarely" status. It was probably about 10 years ago when the online bullying started to surpass the in-school incidents & almost exclusively this happened in the girls' social circle vs the boys.

My experience with socialization? My personal feeling is that highly structured activities where a parent remains in the same room watching a child like a hawk; is not really adequate social interaction. it's just another venue for a controlled environment & constant parental presence.

Our school district allows for homeschooled students to particopate in all extra-curricular & athletics & arts programs. My 15 yr old twins have homeschool students in the music program, cross-country track & on their Robotics Team. My now 21 yr old daughter was on the swim team at this same school during her homeschooled years.

You don't need to feel helpless to ensure her safety if she attends school. I am the "unannounced dropped in to observe" parent. My kids are never surprised to see me at school & neither are their peers & teachers. They would be surprised to know how many times I was observing without them having seen me.

I NEVER stay long enough to be a distraction; it's literally a "drop in" visit, at random times that allows me to note the dynamics & supervision provided in the classroom, during gym, or on the playground.
If I saw something alarming (which I never have) I would say something to the principal immediately but I just keep my eyes open & my mouth shut otherwise.

This is your right as a parent. Any school your child attends is "your" school. I used to think teachers thought I was a helicopter parent but just recently I was complimented by several teachers & a lead district social worker who told me they wished "more parents were as interested in what/how we do for our students". I also monitor at random times all social media apps.

And the rest of the time; they are free to make mistakes & get themselves in & out of awkward situations. To navigate disagreements. To be offended & sometimes offend. To struggle or problem solve on their own ... That's part of growing up too.

This has just been my experience & others may have experienced these things differently!
WOW 11 kids!! I can't imagine two let alone 11. My hats off to you!

Thanks for sharing your perspective. I will definitely look into using public schooling programs if we stick with the home schooling. That's great they would allow kids to participate.

Good to know I can keep a watchful eye out as well

thanks again for your insight!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
It was a Montessori charter school and they liked some things about it and disliked others. Because it was a charter, it wasn't true Montessori, and I hated the standardized test prep. My daughter in particular did not care about the practice tests. They both did fine on the FCATS, but none of us were interested in repeating the experience.

I wouldn't worry about how you'll monitor the online activities of a child who is now 3. Who knows what will be available in 10 years or so (when most kids get phones)? Your ideals will change a lot over time, so you'll just make those decisions when the time comes.
lol I'm not worried right now but she got locked onto the ipad last year and would turn into a zombie. We had to pull it and she doesn't even ask anymore. Trying to raise our child without electronics for the time being... we'll see how long that lasts. Sad to drive by the bus stops and see kids not talking to each other and staring at their phone.. then ya drive downtown and the adults are doing the same thing! What has this world come to ha..


Sorry for the late response to everyone, I didn't get a notification for this thread. Glad to hear from everyone it puts my mind at ease a bit.
 
Old 09-05-2017, 01:30 AM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
2,386 posts, read 909,622 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy View Post
I'm not sure what this is referring to (and I agree with what you've written), but I do want to clarify that that's not how most homeschoolers I know "socialize," if that's what you were saying. Generally the moms are on one end of the playground and the kids are on the other. Or a mom is teaching a different co-op class than the one her kids are in. My kids were in classes that I dropped them off in whenever possible because I agree that helicoptering over them did them no favors. That seems to be the prevailing mindset among the homeschoolers I know. (I'm talking about kids over the age of 6/7.)
Oh; I should clarify:

I have seen some parents gravitate towards activities that might involve similar age children but don't actually provide much chance for interaction. Dance is one that comes to mind; although I think the older children seem more able to work around the obstacles & connect. But little kids ... walk in with parent, who takes a seat in the hallway or the same room ... The child walks 15 ft onto the mat & the instructor takes the lead. The next hour is spent following the instructions of an adult, with parent 15 ft away. Whispering, giggling ... is usually discouraged. There might be a minute or two at the end of class for a child to say "hi" without being disruptive but is then hustled into their coat & out the door.

Honestly; Homeschooling has had quite an evolution & parents have more direction, support & options now. But this was a huge concern for me back "in the day". My oldest is now 31 & was homeschooled during his 4th & 5th grade years; meaning around 1995-1996 & back then I did see children that were 6-7 years old that could not carry on an age-appropriate conversation with a peer. It's been years since I've seen this, however, to the credit of parents who worked very hard when there existed a stigma of sorts regarding homeschool.

This was also a time when parents who homeschooled lived in fear of being reported to DHS by nosy neighbors who saw kids playing outside on a school day & would keep kids indoors until after 3 or 4 pm to avoid attracting unwanted attention. I'm sure this contributed to isolation & if combined with a highly structured activity as the only other social setting? I feel that coud have lead to some problems.
 
Old 09-05-2017, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Shawnee-on-Delaware, PA
3,230 posts, read 2,652,803 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NorCal77 View Post
I've just heard quite a few horror stories, especially the way kids are online now and word travels fast.
Keep in mind that she'll be online eventually, even if she's homeschooled.
 
Old 09-06-2017, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Chicago
261 posts, read 126,608 times
Reputation: 503
You can't shield them forever...
 
Old 09-07-2017, 04:21 PM
 
532 posts, read 182,816 times
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Go to your local school and meet with the principal. Ask how they handle bullying. Ask neighbors if their kids have experienced any bullying and what the school did. See if the local school is having any concerts or events and go to one. See if kids seem happy and parents show up to be involved. You should be able to get a good feel for the atmosphere in your school district.
 
Old 09-08-2017, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Arkansas
714 posts, read 164,724 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtab4994 View Post
Keep in mind that she'll be online eventually, even if she's homeschooled.
I'm thinking that homeschooled kids are more likely to spend more time on the internet, especially during the day.
 
Old 09-13-2017, 04:48 AM
 
8,205 posts, read 1,824,899 times
Reputation: 2774
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heterojunction View Post
You can't shield them forever...
Yet parents try and to me that is the worst thing they can do.Children need to learn how to inter act with others .They will grow up and not know how to deal with adults or others and it will only make their life worse.
 
Old 09-13-2017, 09:17 AM
 
419 posts, read 401,816 times
Reputation: 140
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtab4994 View Post
Keep in mind that she'll be online eventually, even if she's homeschooled.
There will be restrictions as to what she can see and time spent that's for sure lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heterojunction View Post
You can't shield them forever...
No, but we can make conscious decisions that affect their future.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JOinGA View Post
Go to your local school and meet with the principal. Ask how they handle bullying. Ask neighbors if their kids have experienced any bullying and what the school did. See if the local school is having any concerts or events and go to one. See if kids seem happy and parents show up to be involved. You should be able to get a good feel for the atmosphere in your school district.
That's a good idea thanks for the input!

Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I'm thinking that homeschooled kids are more likely to spend more time on the internet, especially during the day.
See above reply.

Quote:
Originally Posted by G1.. View Post
Yet parents try and to me that is the worst thing they can do.Children need to learn how to inter act with others .They will grow up and not know how to deal with adults or others and it will only make their life worse.
There are more ways to socialize a child than school.
 
Old 09-15-2017, 04:48 PM
 
9 posts, read 337 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NorCal77 View Post
With the rise in class room sizes and jump in home schooling here in Seattle/King County. I thought I would ask your guys' thoughts on the two options. I have a 3yo that will be going to a co-op next month to get familiar with being around other kids (only child). We understand the importance of socializing her and have had her in gymnastics and ballet the last couple years and she's been doing great but can be a little shy at times. Most say it's her age and she's finding her way.

In a bit of a pickle... We are currently trying to boil down the areas we can afford based on schooling in the event that she does enroll at some point. My fiance is a bit tentative at home schooling our little one but has been doing a great job so far. My child knows about 40 of the 50 states on a map, Abc's, colors, is starting to write letters. Just a sponge right now.

My initial thought is to home school her from k-6 so she develops a solid set of tools and gets a tailored hands on experience focused around her own interests. Socializing is important but at what costs? I've heard some real horror stories but mainly from kids in jr high and high schools.

I have known multiple people who have home schooled. In just about every case, I've been impressed with their academic performance, maturity, and ability to socialize with different age groups. The ones I know spend a lot of time with other home schooled kids and families. This results in a great friend and support network.

There are a lot of programs, conventions, clubs, etc to help new parents. From what I have seen, it is a great option for children.
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