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My daughter just got detention today and a "0" because some other girl was trying to copy off her. The teacher accused my daughter of intentional trying to help her. The thing is, my daughter doesn't even know the name of the girl, etc. My daughter is just starting middle school and is taking math at the next grade level (she's probably the youngest person taking 7th-grade math out of ~350-400 students). She's small, and will obviously stick out. Anybody have any suggestions on what to do? Obviously, the age factor, etc. will potentially be problematic in the future.
Consider having a meeting with the principal, to nip this in the bud, so it won't continue. Point out that she's brand-new in the school, so she doesn't even know the girl, doesn't even know her name. She hasn't made friends yet, probably, with anyone, and would have no reason to help anyone cheat. If the teacher suspects students are copying off each others' tests, she should consider spacing the desks farther apart.
I think that it is equally likely that she didn't know the girl but that she was working to make a friend and didn't exactly try and keep the answers to herself. Not many kids are just going to admit they are in the wrong if mama bear is going to take their side and they can spin the situation to make themselves look innocent.
Kids at that age, especially if they are the youngest or smallest of the bunch can sometimes want to fit in and what better way than to let the older kid copy from you.
Can't say as I wasn't there but I wouldn't go all balls to the wall on the principal without first talking with the teacher and getting her side of what she saw with her own two eyes.
I don't think she was trying to help. I was planning on going to the school tomorrow morning and ask if she can change teachers. While she is a 6th grader in a 7th-grade math class, she already knows the other 6th-graders in the class.
I have already previously warned her about cheating, saying if she suspects somebody is trying to cheat off of her to write incorrect information and then change it. I was the youngest kid in my grade, and I knew people were trying to cheat off of me, but never got into any trouble for what somebody else did. I suspect cheating will be a bigger problem in this day-and-age, and with the demographics of her current school.
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I think going to the school tomorrow morning is a very good idea.
Unless the teacher could see your daughter was obviously helping another child copy her paper, it seems unfair to punish her. The one who was benefitting from the cheating should get punished, and the benefit of the doubt should go to the one who had nothing to gain.
Honestly, though, usually the smaller and quieter the child is, the more they are believed to be innocent. They look young. Sad for the kids who are large but the same age - often they aren't given the wiggle room to act immaturely just because visually they appear older.
This was a common teacher tactic when I was in school -- punish the person being cheated off along with the cheater. Didn't matter if you were totally innocent, it was "punish them all and let God sort them out" philosophy combined with "they probably did something they should be punished for anyway so it evens out."
I taught middle school for decades. My policy, if I saw a student "assisting" another student was that I immediately collected both exams, made them sit quietly twiddling their thumbs for the rest of the period, called parents, explained why it was an issue with the one sharing, if needed, and offered a choice of a zero or to stay after the school in order to retake the exam. Oh, and be subjected to a lecture on the perils of cheating or allowing others to cheat off you before I would hand them the new exam. I did not fail them or academically punish them for a first time incident, but many ended up crying and were very embarrassed, so I figured that was good enough to make my point. I can only think of a couple of times when I had a repeat offender on the cheater's part and never on the helper's part. However, it is probably more common for teachers at the middle school level or above to hand out zeros.
Don't go in with guns blazing, it is possible your daughter was at least to some degree allowing the other child to see her answers. My experience has been that the children who allowed others to cheat off them were generally bright, well behaved kids who would never cheat themselves. Peer pressure is a very real problem for middle school kids, often making parents scratch their heads and comment about how their child knows better, and it was true they knew better, but they were more concerned about social consequences than teacher or parental consequences, this is just one area where it shows it's ugly head. The point, from the teacher's standpoint, is to now make them more concerned about teacher and parent consequences than what their peers think.
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This was a common teacher tactic when I was in school -- punish the person being cheated off along with the cheater. Didn't matter if you were totally innocent, it was "punish them all and let God sort them out" philosophy combined with "they probably did something they should be punished for anyway so it evens out."
Lord, I hated school.
That is not it. It is better to "punish" the kid at middle school, where only their parents and teachers really care about their grades, than to have them continue allowing others to copy and get kicked out of a college placement exam (which happens more frequently than you probably realize) or college itself. These are lessons best learned prior to when the stakes are life altering.
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When I post in bold red that is moderator action and, per the TOS, can only be discussed through Direct Message.
My daughter just got detention today and a "0" because some other girl was trying to copy off her. The teacher accused my daughter of intentional trying to help her. The thing is, my daughter doesn't even know the name of the girl, etc. My daughter is just starting middle school and is taking math at the next grade level (she's probably the youngest person taking 7th-grade math out of ~350-400 students). She's small, and will obviously stick out. Anybody have any suggestions on what to do? Obviously, the age factor, etc. will potentially be problematic in the future.
Oh I'd be RIGHT UP THERE tomorrow.
And I'd make that teacher go through the entire story in gruesome detail in front of the principle. Nip that crap in the bud.
A ZERO AND DETENTION??? So her entire average is affected?
I had to take my kid out of high school math because his teacher "Didn't believe in IEPs". He got tutored in math at home instead.
Don't be surprised if you have to put her back in her own 6th grade age group. Seriously not worth the aggravation having a kid who deviates in any way.
I was put in 3rd year French as a Freshman because I had grade school French. It was brutal dealing with all those girls. I should never have admitted knowing any French and just sailed through first year with all A's!
That is not it. It is better to "punish" the kid at middle school, where only their parents and teachers really care about their grades, than to have them continue allowing others to copy and get kicked out of a college placement exam (which happens more frequently than you probably realize) or college itself. These are lessons best learned prior to when the stakes are life altering.
You're making the same assumption those teachers did -- that the kid being copied from is guilty of helping the cheaters. That's like saying that the driver being tailgated is guilty of letting another driver tailgate them. I have no problem with punishing the guilty, but have big problems with punishing both guilty and innocent just to send a message.
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