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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 2 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zesty2
Well the lesson won't help as much as you think it will.
It will work for about 2 weeks. During those 2 weeks, the kid MUST make new friends or when the 2 week period is over, things are going to go back to normal.
As long as the kid makes at least 1 friend during the 2 weeks, everything will eventually be OK, but if they do not, it will be like the lesson never happened.
It doesn't sound like this child has been unable to make friends in the past, so a two week period might be sufficient for her. Certainly, kids who aren't able to make friends on their own never do.
In my experience, a caring teacher can make this happen for kids who are socially capable. There was this one boy who was in my son's 1st grade class. He used arm brace crutches, and he was shy. And his head looked kind of disfigured. She had a morning where he introduced himself and his disability, and his baby pictures, and kids were respectfully allowed to try out his arm braces and ask questions.
Thank you Everyone for your input! I have talked to the teacher and she assured me that she is going to take care of this . Also I have already started her swimming and karate classes for her so she can be busy.
Well the lesson won't help as much as you think it will.
It will work for about 2 weeks. During those 2 weeks, the kid MUST make new friends or when the 2 week period is over, things are going to go back to normal.
As long as the kid makes at least 1 friend during the 2 weeks, everything will eventually be OK, but if they do not, it will be like the lesson never happened.
Thank you Everyone for your input! I have talked to the teacher and she assured me that she is going to take care of this . Also I have already started her swimming and karate classes for her so she can be busy.
Please let us know how she does. Seems like it is hard to just be a kid anymore.
I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this. What is key, is for her to make at least one or two friends in the class. Are there any other Muslim girls in the class? Any other minority girls in the class? Girls who are at the edge of the social circle? The teacher will be able to advise you about this.
As for the bully in chief, you really do have to talk to the school about this. That behavior is totally unacceptable, and the school needs to make the child and her parents (from whom she is learning this) understand that she cannot do this, and that if she persists in this behavior, there will be consequences.
Meanwhile, it will also help your daughter if she dresses like the other children. Look and see what the other girls are wearing, and try to dress her in the same manner, as long as it doesn't violate your religious tenets.
It can help to have a birthday party, to which you invite all the girls in the class. Join the PTO. Volunteer at the school. Be a friendly, open, present person at the school. Hang out on the playground and chat with other parents at pickup time. If you can make friends with parents of other children in her grade, very quickly she will be friends with their children.
I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this. What is key, is for her to make at least one or two friends in the class. Are there any other Muslim girls in the class? Any other minority girls in the class? Girls who are at the edge of the social circle? The teacher will be able to advise you about this.
As for the bully in chief, you really do have to talk to the school about this. That behavior is totally unacceptable, and the school needs to make the child and her parents (from whom she is learning this) understand that she cannot do this, and that if she persists in this behavior, there will be consequences.
Meanwhile, it will also help your daughter if she dresses like the other children. Look and see what the other girls are wearing, and try to dress her in the same manner, as long as it doesn't violate your religious tenets.
It can help to have a birthday party, to which you invite all the girls in the class. Join the PTO. Volunteer at the school. Be a friendly, open, present person at the school. Hang out on the playground and chat with other parents at pickup time. If you can make friends with parents of other children in her grade, very quickly she will be friends with their children.
While the bully's behavior is not ok, too many people on here overexaggerate what the school can really do about it.
Some schools are not even allowed to expel the kid. If the parents are not interested in changing the girl's behavior and the school has to keep the girl in the same grade, nothing can be done and it will never change.
A lot of your other advice is also bad. Making the girl dress like all the other girls shows the bully that she has a lot of power. Just because parents are friends doesn't mean the kids will be friends. (I think they should, but it doesn't always work.)
And restricting the girl's friends to other Muslim girls just digs the hole deeper for the girl. If she makes a few Muslim girl friends, she will NEVER talk to someone who isn't Muslim. Guess who will start being the racist in middle school?
We went though this when we moved. Some things worked for us:
Throw a birthday party for her and invite the entire class. Come up with a theme or something that is uber fun so most of them will come. Have some break the ice type age appropriate games ready for the party. When our party wound down, the kids who did not leave early played Apples to Apples for a prize.
Join some parent/kid groups. Indian Princesses, Scouts, K Kids. Whatever. While there, do not allow her to cling to you and avoid the other kids. Try to become a leader of some part of the activities. That forces them together and to interact.
Drive other kids to school or if you cannot, then make arrangements for other parents to drive your kid to school. Most young kids are compatible given enough time together. If you end up in a ride share situaton with a truely awful kid, add more people or change to someone else.
If you kid gets bullied or gets in a fight, invite the other kid over for some supervised playdates. This was suggested to us by a teacher, it worked and they became lifelong friends.
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