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Old 02-07-2019, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Beautiful Rhode Island
6,530 posts, read 10,820,296 times
Reputation: 6374

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Quote:
Originally Posted by hope2settle View Post
hi everyone,
thanks for your all constructive opinion.
i hope this discussion will help/ give idea to other that might have similar situation, what is an appropriate follow up after the incident or maybe if it is a need for follow up.
since i like do things in order sequence, maybe let i do same thing in here:
1. a boy draw human male genital organ on my girl text book. my girl report it to teacher and teacher ask bring it to principal.
if it is a blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser", why this teacher that teach for 16 years in this middle school bother to sent the text book to principal?

if it is a blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser", why the principal bother to call me and replace the page of the drawing?




2. i don't know how high your all education, career and workplace. but in my job position, i can't afford do something tiny mistake without big/ terminal consequence within days.

i choose this middle school because of the best in district/ region. i sacrifice a lot move specifically to this district to hope get best education for my kids and have high respect the principal and teacher do his job ethically and professionally. it is well know, best school always placed in most expensive place to live in region.
i understand completely the principal busy so forget about this blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser", but over 4 weeks, what i got for highest tax school in region , principal only give a call?

i asked my girl, how's she feeling to be same class with the boy, she said, not comfortable.

there is no sop in this rank no.1 middle school for 4 years in row?

seriously? no standard operation procedure manual for communication for this blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser"?




3. i never have intention go after this boy or the principal. i just want a fair treatment.

if from young already have a not fair treatment, how to have a dream of better life in future?

if in this kind of so called best of possible school i can get for my kids, the treatment for blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser" just like this, what about the normal and below normal school?

again i completely don't understand if it is an innocent or funny or naughty, harmless thing, prepared for not completely sheltered from the real world, why the principal bother to tear the text book page and replace with the new page?
it is innocent.

it is funny or naughty.

it is harmless thing.

it is prepared for not completely sheltered from the real world.

why the teacher ask my girl bring it to principal?
to remind everyone, it is not a woman fault if a woman dress sexily and she got raped.

fyi, my girl wear glasses, short hair, book worm type, normal fully jeans everyday. so... where is the connection of innocent or funny or naughty or harmless thing or prepared for not completely sheltered from the real world?




4. i remotely consult my company legal dept about this blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser". yes, there is possibility because local born boy did something to
foreign born girl. if the foreign born boy draw something to local born girl, it is already in local newspaper/ tv.

seriously? already in 2019, we still have this kind situation?

i could say a principal from best middle school in region is like a ceo of 500-750 million net income corporate class. he should be free and 100% old and wise enough to know from this kind local/ foreign born student issue.

this one of the reason i still have not meet him, to make sure i have something black and white, big, a law, easy understand for him like 1+1=2 chart, so he don't give billions reason and treat me like i spend my kindergarten 20 years first before i have all 4 PhD from usa top 8 universities





5. yes, the 5th. if point no. 1 the principal settle it in professional, no one will say
blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser".
so should i focus:
why the boy still in my girl classes?

or

why the teacher ask my girl bring the text book to principal?

or
why the principal tear the text book page and replace with the new page?




even online discussion like this forums is not a place for real deal discussion, i hope everyone could give neutral and sincere opinion for benefit others than focus spelling, grammar or foreign/ local born.
First of all, going to a fancy and expensive "best school around" guarantees nothing. Immature little boys are everywhere. Discipline problems are in every school.

Secondly, yes, you are blowing this completely out of proportion and your anger is accelerating. Chill out before you really embarrass your daughter.

 
Old 02-07-2019, 09:52 AM
 
4,969 posts, read 2,098,462 times
Reputation: 13914
Quote:
Originally Posted by hope2settle View Post
this one of the reason i still have not meet him, to make sure i have something black and white, big, a law, easy understand for him like 1+1=2 chart, so he don't give billions reason and treat me like i spend my kindergarten 20 years first before i have all 4 PhD from usa top 8 universities




even online discussion like this forums is not a place for real deal discussion, i hope everyone could give neutral and sincere opinion for benefit others than focus spelling, grammar or foreign/ local born.
Truly I cannot understand most of your post. Truly, how will you speak with attorneys and the principal?

You have 4 PhDs from USA universities??????
 
Old 02-07-2019, 10:31 AM
 
989 posts, read 625,373 times
Reputation: 1661
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC View Post
Truly I cannot understand most of your post. Truly, how will you speak with attorneys and the principal?

You have 4 PhDs from USA universities??????
Most attorneys are trained to see the forest for the trees and will understand him just fine. And USA universities don’t have a monopoly on PHD’s.... those can be legitimately attained virtually worldwide.

Smh.

Last edited by BLDSoon; 02-07-2019 at 10:58 AM..
 
Old 02-07-2019, 10:53 AM
 
989 posts, read 625,373 times
Reputation: 1661
Quote:
Originally Posted by hope2settle View Post
hi everyone,
thanks for your all constructive opinion.
i hope this discussion will help/ give idea to other that might have similar situation, what is an appropriate follow up after the incident or maybe if it is a need for follow up.
since i like do things in order sequence, maybe let i do same thing in here:
1. a boy draw human male genital organ on my girl text book. my girl report it to teacher and teacher ask bring it to principal.
if it is a blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser", why this teacher that teach for 16 years in this middle school bother to sent the text book to principal?

if it is a blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser", why the principal bother to call me and replace the page of the drawing?




2. i don't know how high your all education, career and workplace. but in my job position, i can't afford do something tiny mistake without big/ terminal consequence within days.

i choose this middle school because of the best in district/ region. i sacrifice a lot move specifically to this district to hope get best education for my kids and have high respect the principal and teacher do his job ethically and professionally. it is well know, best school always placed in most expensive place to live in region.
i understand completely the principal busy so forget about this blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser", but over 4 weeks, what i got for highest tax school in region , principal only give a call?

i asked my girl, how's she feeling to be same class with the boy, she said, not comfortable.

there is no sop in this rank no.1 middle school for 4 years in row?

seriously? no standard operation procedure manual for communication for this blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser"?




3. i never have intention go after this boy or the principal. i just want a fair treatment.

if from young already have a not fair treatment, how to have a dream of better life in future?

if in this kind of so called best of possible school i can get for my kids, the treatment for blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser" just like this, what about the normal and below normal school?

again i completely don't understand if it is an innocent or funny or naughty, harmless thing, prepared for not completely sheltered from the real world, why the principal bother to tear the text book page and replace with the new page?
it is innocent.

it is funny or naughty.

it is harmless thing.

it is prepared for not completely sheltered from the real world.

why the teacher ask my girl bring it to principal?
to remind everyone, it is not a woman fault if a woman dress sexily and she got raped.

fyi, my girl wear glasses, short hair, book worm type, normal fully jeans everyday. so... where is the connection of innocent or funny or naughty or harmless thing or prepared for not completely sheltered from the real world?




4. i remotely consult my company legal dept about this blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser". yes, there is possibility because local born boy did something to
foreign born girl. if the foreign born boy draw something to local born girl, it is already in local newspaper/ tv.

seriously? already in 2019, we still have this kind situation?

i could say a principal from best middle school in region is like a ceo of 500-750 million net income corporate class. he should be free and 100% old and wise enough to know from this kind local/ foreign born student issue.

this one of the reason i still have not meet him, to make sure i have something black and white, big, a law, easy understand for him like 1+1=2 chart, so he don't give billions reason and treat me like i spend my kindergarten 20 years first before i have all 4 PhD from usa top 8 universities





5. yes, the 5th. if point no. 1 the principal settle it in professional, no one will say
blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser".
so should i focus:
why the boy still in my girl classes?

or

why the teacher ask my girl bring the text book to principal?

or
why the principal tear the text book page and replace with the new page?




even online discussion like this forums is not a place for real deal discussion, i hope everyone could give neutral and sincere opinion for benefit others than focus spelling, grammar or foreign/ local born.
OP, my advise to you is to get off the internet. That seems to be my advice to many posters nowadays. The variety of opinions, the jabs at your concerns and the undermining of your concerns by people that cant get past the foreign language influence in your writing will end up making you more aggravated by this situation than you initially were.

I say make an appointment to speak with the principal. Clearly they didn’t think it was nothing- otherwise they wouldn’t have mentioned it. Go calmy, quietly, with no lawyers, paperwork or research. You dont need those. No matter how high performing the school is, you are most likely going to be speaking with a teacher. A teacher with an administrative rank but still a teacher. You don’t need a lawyer to speak with most teachers no matter their rank. You need a lawyer to talk to a lawyer. If the school involves their lawyers, then you need one too. Right now you are light years away from that outcome.

Let him/her know your concerns, let them know your daughter is uncomfortable with their resolution. I guarantee you they have some kind of SOP for such things. Its probably already in place. It probably can be modified in case of an escalation (which this would qualify as).This probably isn’t the first time this has occurred. The principal will likely be more level headed about it than you are because they have dealt with this before not because they think less of you or your daughter.(Unless you have some evidence to the contrary.)

Dont bring up anything about being foreign. Im willing to bet that has nothing to do with it. You are also assuming they boy’s family isn’t which you would have no way of knowing.

Whatever you do, your daughter still has to go back to school so consider her in your actions. Go have a civilized conversation between adults with the principal then go from there. I have a feeling that is all that will be needed here.

Either way, handle this in real life. Get off the internet.
 
Old 02-07-2019, 11:01 AM
 
6,404 posts, read 3,429,479 times
Reputation: 16879
Quote:
Originally Posted by turf3 View Post
...
or, maybe, just an ordinary spanking followed with "don't do that any more"?
I think this is the real issue. Once upon a time there would be a spanking, public acknowledgement of the issue, and public punishment to send the message to not just the offender, but everyone, that this behavior went be tolerated. Today any punishment, if any, is hidden. To the other kids the offender has gotten away with it. And the girl is told to "suck it up."

Its not about an overtop punishment, but the creation of a world where the choices are either over the top or nothing.
 
Old 02-07-2019, 11:33 AM
 
7,840 posts, read 8,653,392 times
Reputation: 6092
Quote:
Originally Posted by hope2settle View Post
hi everyone,
thanks for your all constructive opinion.
i hope this discussion will help/ give idea to other that might have similar situation, what is an appropriate follow up after the incident or maybe if it is a need for follow up.
since i like do things in order sequence, maybe let i do same thing in here:
1. a boy draw human male genital organ on my girl text book. my girl report it to teacher and teacher ask bring it to principal.
if it is a blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser", why this teacher that teach for 16 years in this middle school bother to sent the text book to principal?

if it is a blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser", why the principal bother to call me and replace the page of the drawing?




2. i don't know how high your all education, career and workplace. but in my job position, i can't afford do something tiny mistake without big/ terminal consequence within days.

i choose this middle school because of the best in district/ region. i sacrifice a lot move specifically to this district to hope get best education for my kids and have high respect the principal and teacher do his job ethically and professionally. it is well know, best school always placed in most expensive place to live in region.
i understand completely the principal busy so forget about this blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser", but over 4 weeks, what i got for highest tax school in region , principal only give a call?

i asked my girl, how's she feeling to be same class with the boy, she said, not comfortable.

there is no sop in this rank no.1 middle school for 4 years in row?

seriously? no standard operation procedure manual for communication for this blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser"?




3. i never have intention go after this boy or the principal. i just want a fair treatment.

if from young already have a not fair treatment, how to have a dream of better life in future?

if in this kind of so called best of possible school i can get for my kids, the treatment for blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser" just like this, what about the normal and below normal school?

again i completely don't understand if it is an innocent or funny or naughty, harmless thing, prepared for not completely sheltered from the real world, why the principal bother to tear the text book page and replace with the new page?
it is innocent.

it is funny or naughty.

it is harmless thing.

it is prepared for not completely sheltered from the real world.

why the teacher ask my girl bring it to principal?
to remind everyone, it is not a woman fault if a woman dress sexily and she got raped.

fyi, my girl wear glasses, short hair, book worm type, normal fully jeans everyday. so... where is the connection of innocent or funny or naughty or harmless thing or prepared for not completely sheltered from the real world?




4. i remotely consult my company legal dept about this blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser". yes, there is possibility because local born boy did something to
foreign born girl. if the foreign born boy draw something to local born girl, it is already in local newspaper/ tv.

seriously? already in 2019, we still have this kind situation?

i could say a principal from best middle school in region is like a ceo of 500-750 million net income corporate class. he should be free and 100% old and wise enough to know from this kind local/ foreign born student issue.

this one of the reason i still have not meet him, to make sure i have something black and white, big, a law, easy understand for him like 1+1=2 chart, so he don't give billions reason and treat me like i spend my kindergarten 20 years first before i have all 4 PhD from usa top 8 universities





5. yes, the 5th. if point no. 1 the principal settle it in professional, no one will say
blown COMPLETELY out of proportion or kind of teasing or just need "eraser".
so should i focus:
why the boy still in my girl classes?

or

why the teacher ask my girl bring the text book to principal?

or
why the principal tear the text book page and replace with the new page?




even online discussion like this forums is not a place for real deal discussion, i hope everyone could give neutral and sincere opinion for benefit others than focus spelling, grammar or foreign/ local born.
1. Moving the boy out of the class would be disproportionate punishment. He drew a stick figure penis he didn't attack your daughter with his fists.

2. So much as you are able keep this episode about your daughter. It seems to me at this point you are making it more and more about you.

3. I'm not your life coach but I if were I'd advise several things:
A. Ask your daughter about this in a casual manner a time or two over the next few days - don't dwell on it in front of her. Manage it down in her eyes. Don't mange it up.
B. Don't even consider further contact with the school until you've calmed down a little.
1. Contacting the school will emphasize all of this in your daughter's eyes.
2. Contacting the school will almost certainly change nothing in terms of the boy's punishment.
3. If the kid was moved out subsequent to a meeting with the school - your daughter might be blamed by the kid and other kids.
4. Less importantly you'd run the risk of being seen as a trouble causing parent.

4. A little open and sincere dialog with your kiddo is the way to move forward.
 
Old 02-07-2019, 11:51 AM
 
8,917 posts, read 3,452,488 times
Reputation: 22378
I'm not sure I understand what her being foreign born has to do with anything.

But if she's shy and bookish as you describe, yes, this would probably be something she's not as used to as more forward gregarious girls. This is an opportunity for her to rise above it.

And I'm not sure why you expect a 1 + 1 =2 response, as in, the school has a policy in place for what to do when a middle school boy draws a penis on a middle school girl's text book.

Student handbooks aren't as specific as that.
 
Old 02-07-2019, 11:58 AM
 
846 posts, read 532,902 times
Reputation: 783
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
You don't have enough information, here.

What in the world is a "genital man"? A naked man that's anatomically correct? A "man" that is a penis?

Did you actually SEE the pic he drew? Do you know, in general, how his behavior is?

A lot of kids who are 7 do that. They draw anatomically correct things. Dogs. People who might have belly buttons, breasts or genitals.

To get him removed from the class seems like an extreme over reaction to something that may be totally innocent, or something that he thought was funny and naughty but otherwise harmless.

If you go after this boy with guns blazing, don't expect any mercy if your daughter misbehaves or somehow offends another student during her life at that school.
These children are in grade 7 -- not 7 years old.
 
Old 02-07-2019, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Northern panhandle WV
3,008 posts, read 2,064,789 times
Reputation: 6635
I think while the incident was unfortunate that it does not rise to the level you seem to think it should.
You don't know what action was taken about the boy and no one is going to tell you. Your daughter is uncomfortable, I am sure that the more you complain and raise a stink the more uncomfortable she will be.
At the rate you are going you could turn her completely against school. If she is uncomfortable in class with him then they are going to move HER not him and that means that she will have to adjust to new classes and the kids in them, it will also call attention to why she was moved.
I am not saying this was not something that should not have happened, but over reacting to it just makes everything worse.
 
Old 02-07-2019, 12:08 PM
 
4,489 posts, read 1,958,709 times
Reputation: 12694
If this girl is raised so delicately that a boy's smutty drawing upsets her, her parents, and causes a huge s**t storm, what do you think is going to happen when she gets drafted and has to go to basic training?
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