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Old Yesterday, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Follow the oil exhaust cloud until you run out of gas, then turn left
984 posts, read 296,353 times
Reputation: 1972

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Quote:
A lot of kids who are 7 do that. They draw anatomically correct things. Dogs. People who might have belly buttons, breasts or genitals.

To get him removed from the class seems like an extreme over reaction to something that may be totally innocent, or something that he thought was funny and naughty but otherwise harmless.
Quote:
OP, I think there is a tool that can address this problem in a quick and easy manner, it is called an "eraser", and can usually be found on the end of a pencil. If it was drawn in ink, there is a thing called "Whiteout".

Am I the only Caveman here who thinks this has been blown completely out of proportion? When I was in 7th grade, I would have been told to "Knock that bs off" and maybe be ordered to apologize, and if I did, that would have been the end of it. Now, people expect a legal hearing, psychiatric evaluation for both parties, a lawsuit to hold the school responsible, and lifetime compensation for the victim, because a 12 year old boy drew a John Thomas on one of a female peer's books? Are we all such delicate snowflakes now such that SHE couldn't have simply told the kid to knock it off? What exactly is the message to the girl, here? I do not condone bullying, but think this has already gotten farther than it should have. No wonder this country is getting so F'd up.






That.

Kids have been doing that for generations and nobody gave it a second thought except maybe a moment's look of disgust when they turned the page. It's nothing new. Unfortunately in today's oversensitive neo-Victorian culture removal from class, complete expulsion from the district and registering as a perv... oh, excuse me, "sex offender" is par for the course in the American K-12 system.

When I was in school the worst that would have happened (*if* anybody was paying attention) was you'd have gotten a stern lecture from the teacher and a warning of what would happen to you if you did that again. And that wasn't all that long ago. People still weren't as hung-up on themselves around the turn of the century.

OP, you and your daughter just need to swallow your pride, move on with your lives and accept the reality that teenagers get horny sometimes and do stuff like that. Get over yourselves. There are far worse things in life that could be happening to you than seeing somebody's line-drawing of a wiener in a textbook.

Last edited by Ttark; Yesterday at 01:45 PM..
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Old Yesterday, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Texas
7,735 posts, read 2,901,366 times
Reputation: 16536
Quote:
Originally Posted by turf3 View Post
I stand by my statement that you are taking a typical crass crude middle school boy's misbehavior and trying to turn it into a far bigger deal than it is.

Middle school boys have been writing nasty things on walls or other places for as long as they have existed.
This.
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Old Yesterday, 02:14 PM
 
50,027 posts, read 40,438,494 times
Reputation: 31403
Op, the part you are missing isn't that we think it's ok for the boy to draw that on her book but that you seem to want a much tougher punishment than the detention they likely got.

That's not the cultural norm in this country for that level of offense NOR WILL YOU FIND A TOUGHER PENALTY THAN THAT AT ANY OTHER US SCHOOL.

If you disagree then that is your right and you can get a lawyer (it won't go anywhere but feel free to pay them) or move or homeschool....but it's not changing the reality that nowhere in the United States will you get a boy moved completely out of class for a single offense of that nature.

Again, I'm just explaining how things are. I can understand that you are upset and expect more but that is not the case.

P.S. Principals do follow guidelines and almost certainly are in this instance. Your being unhappy with what happened and the level of punishment does not mean they made a mistake. Frankly, it sounds like you are having a major cultural disconnect between how things were done where you grew up and here. Please note, I'm not saying your way was wrong but don't take offense that people aren't doing their job because it's not being handled the way you want it to be.
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Old Yesterday, 03:13 PM
 
1,042 posts, read 257,687 times
Reputation: 2806
I'm pretty sure Genital Man is DC Comics, not Marvel.
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Old Yesterday, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,720 posts, read 50,974,366 times
Reputation: 68522
Quote:
Originally Posted by lvmensch View Post
I am older than you so you will have to filter the 35 years or so. I had three daughters go through school at the same time.

Wife was an RN...well trained and worldly. She was the neighborhood's expert on things female. And good at it. Very tricky because you have to be very careful about talking sex to other people's kids when they are in middle school or less. Easier with high school students.

In our community we would have simply had a conversation with the boy's parent(s) and asked them to put a stop to it. The oldest daughter was smart and stable and would put a kid who messed with her sisters in his place in a minute. The middle daughter had the problem of developing completely at 11. She was a stacked broad before getting to high school...and was quite capable of flaunting it. So she might well have leaned on a guy who sent her a nude drawing. She was not however easy or anything...she just enjoyed being desirable. And she could be really tough...not above taking a poke at a guy who got too friendly and particularly dangerous if protective big sister was around.

So in our time frame such an interaction would mostly have been handled between the kids or parents. If it got to the school it would have been a big deal...and would have been a lot more action than a single drawing.
In your time it's likely tge parents would have done something and not just told you to eff off and keep your mouth off their precious baby.
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Old Yesterday, 03:30 PM
 
11,522 posts, read 4,201,594 times
Reputation: 5049
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
In your time it's likely tge parents would have done something and not just told you to eff off and keep your mouth off their precious baby.
Actually in the time of my children in teen years the girls would have mostly handled it. My three and a gaggle of a couple of dozen others. And a boy who got cross with one of the ladies would be in for a very hard time.

A pretty tight neighborhood in northern OC. And virtually all parents were reachable with a degree or so. We would know someone who knew the other kids parents.

But generally the kids sorted this stuff themselves pretty well.
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Old Yesterday, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Follow the oil exhaust cloud until you run out of gas, then turn left
984 posts, read 296,353 times
Reputation: 1972
Maybe OP should call his local newspaper's and Big Three affiliates' newsrooms and drop a tip. There's probably some slow news person who's more than willing to pounce on it and scoop the others.

Maybe set up a social media website about this horrible, horrible scandal and get on some big-name <insert OP's political affiliation here>ist talk show to shout from the rooftops to the whole country to promote it. That'll REALLY get the fire burning.
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Old Yesterday, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,720 posts, read 50,974,366 times
Reputation: 68522
Genital man


Worst superhero name ever.
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Old Yesterday, 04:11 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
20,075 posts, read 9,487,929 times
Reputation: 19181
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
You should have insisted the boy be removed from your daughterís class, and that he write an apology to your daughter. Why did you not advocate for your daughter?

Talk to your daughter to find out how she feels about this boy being in the same class as she is. Be kind as you question her. If she feels threatened, or devalued, or unhappy about the presence of the boy, ask for a meeting with the principal. Donít be fobbed off onto some assistant. When you meet with him, tell him you want the boy switched to a different class. Donít be afraid to be firm, but obviously, you donít want to make a scene.

(I wonder what action would have been taken if this kid had drawn an obscene picture on his daughterís textbook?)

But if your daughter is just glad this has blown over, I think you should tell her you should have been a stronger advocate for her and let it go.

If this boy is bothering her in or out of class, see the principal ASAP.
1. You can "insist" all you like. Doesn't mean it's gonna happen.
2. Forced apologies are worthless.
3. Your second paragraph -- reasonable advice and I would add to put everything in writing.
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Old Yesterday, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
20,075 posts, read 9,487,929 times
Reputation: 19181
Quote:
Originally Posted by hope2settle View Post
Hi silibran,
thanks for your opinion and suggestion.
if you could share more:
1. what other resources i can print from internet as my valid reason to demand the boy be removed from every my daughter classes, when i meeting to principal.
since i felt very disappointed about how professionalism or ethic this principal of rank no.1 middle school in the district/ region handle the situation, i don't want when i meet him, he give trillions of excuses this and that.
2. what next if the principal refuse to removed the boy from every my daughter classes? call school district superintendent or i have a base to consult legal advice?
1. This has nothing to do with the internet.

2. He legally can't tell you about disciplinary actions taken against another child.

3. If you are not satisfied with the principal's decision, first go to the Superintendent's office, and then you could still go to the Board Of Education.

----------


After now having read your post # 18, I have to say more.

First, there are two possible situations here: It's a one-time incident, or it's an ongoing bully-type situation. If it's a one-time situation, YOU'RE BLOWING IT WAY OUT OF PROPORTION. If it's an ongoing situation, that's different and raises far more concern.

Lawyers??? You've got to be kidding me.

Comparing a work situation for you to a middle school situation? Come on now.

Last edited by phetaroi; Yesterday at 04:29 PM..
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