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Old 02-06-2019, 06:10 AM
 
52 posts, read 21,962 times
Reputation: 36

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Hi Parents,


A boy drew genital man to my girl text book. My girl(grade 7) report it to teacher. The principal call me about the situation and said proper standard procedure has been taken to the boy.
I donít ask many questions during he call me because I believe the principal from this middle school that rank no.1 in this district will do his job properly.


No e-mail/ mail from teacher/ principal regarding this situation.
Weeks past, the boy still attend same class with my girl. I wonder what is the proper standard procedure/s has been taken to the boy.
1 of my expectation is, the boy have to not in same home room any more with my girl.
My other expectation is a formal e-mail/ mail about the incident.


I appreciate Parents who have girl could share neutral and honest opinion if this unpleasant incident happen to your girl.
Thanks in advance for any reply.

 
Old 02-06-2019, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Mid South Central TX
3,180 posts, read 7,341,234 times
Reputation: 2177
Quote:
Originally Posted by hope2settle View Post
Hi Parents,


A boy drew genital man to my girl text book. My girl(grade 7) report it to teacher. The principal call me about the situation and said proper standard procedure has been taken to the boy.
I donít ask many questions during he call me because I believe the principal from this middle school that rank no.1 in this district will do his job properly.


No e-mail/ mail from teacher/ principal regarding this situation.
Weeks past, the boy still attend same class with my girl. I wonder what is the proper standard procedure/s has been taken to the boy.
1 of my expectation is, the boy have to not in same home room any more with my girl.
My other expectation is a formal e-mail/ mail about the incident.


I appreciate Parents who have girl could share neutral and honest opinion if this unpleasant incident happen to your girl.
Thanks in advance for any reply.
No matter what happened to the other student they cannot discuss it with you, so you will never know. The principal contacted you personally, and most likely you will receive no further communication. Drawing something like that would not be grounds for a suspension, anyway.
 
Old 02-06-2019, 05:05 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
20,655 posts, read 13,549,666 times
Reputation: 28132
You should have insisted the boy be removed from your daughter’s class, and that he write an apology to your daughter. Why did you not advocate for your daughter?

Talk to your daughter to find out how she feels about this boy being in the same class as she is. Be kind as you question her. If she feels threatened, or devalued, or unhappy about the presence of the boy, ask for a meeting with the principal. Don’t be fobbed off onto some assistant. When you meet with him, tell him you want the boy switched to a different class. Don’t be afraid to be firm, but obviously, you don’t want to make a scene.

(I wonder what action would have been taken if this kid had drawn an obscene picture on his daughter’s textbook?)

But if your daughter is just glad this has blown over, I think you should tell her you should have been a stronger advocate for her and let it go.

If this boy is bothering her in or out of class, see the principal ASAP.
 
Old 02-06-2019, 06:04 PM
 
52 posts, read 21,962 times
Reputation: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
You should have insisted the boy be removed from your daughterís class, and that he write an apology to your daughter. Why did you not advocate for your daughter?

Talk to your daughter to find out how she feels about this boy being in the same class as she is. Be kind as you question her. If she feels threatened, or devalued, or unhappy about the presence of the boy, ask for a meeting with the principal. Donít be fobbed off onto some assistant. When you meet with him, tell him you want the boy switched to a different class. Donít be afraid to be firm, but obviously, you donít want to make a scene.

(I wonder what action would have been taken if this kid had drawn an obscene picture on his daughterís textbook?)

But if your daughter is just glad this has blown over, I think you should tell her you should have been a stronger advocate for her and let it go.

If this boy is bothering her in or out of class, see the principal ASAP.

Hi silibran,
thanks for your opinion and suggestion.
if you could share more:
1. what other resources i can print from internet as my valid reason to demand the boy be removed from every my daughter classes, when i meeting to principal.
since i felt very disappointed about how professionalism or ethic this principal of rank no.1 middle school in the district/ region handle the situation, i don't want when i meet him, he give trillions of excuses this and that.
2. what next if the principal refuse to removed the boy from every my daughter classes? call school district superintendent or i have a base to consult legal advice?
 
Old 02-06-2019, 06:12 PM
 
8,913 posts, read 3,452,488 times
Reputation: 22378
You don't have enough information, here.

What in the world is a "genital man"? A naked man that's anatomically correct? A "man" that is a penis?

Did you actually SEE the pic he drew? Do you know, in general, how his behavior is?

A lot of kids who are 7 do that. They draw anatomically correct things. Dogs. People who might have belly buttons, breasts or genitals.

To get him removed from the class seems like an extreme over reaction to something that may be totally innocent, or something that he thought was funny and naughty but otherwise harmless.

If you go after this boy with guns blazing, don't expect any mercy if your daughter misbehaves or somehow offends another student during her life at that school.

Last edited by ClaraC; 02-06-2019 at 06:23 PM..
 
Old 02-06-2019, 07:51 PM
 
Location: Mid South Central TX
3,180 posts, read 7,341,234 times
Reputation: 2177
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
You should have insisted the boy be removed from your daughterís class, and that he write an apology to your daughter. Why did you not advocate for your daughter?

Talk to your daughter to find out how she feels about this boy being in the same class as she is. Be kind as you question her. If she feels threatened, or devalued, or unhappy about the presence of the boy, ask for a meeting with the principal. Donít be fobbed off onto some assistant. When you meet with him, tell him you want the boy switched to a different class. Donít be afraid to be firm, but obviously, you donít want to make a scene.

(I wonder what action would have been taken if this kid had drawn an obscene picture on his daughterís textbook?)

But if your daughter is just glad this has blown over, I think you should tell her you should have been a stronger advocate for her and let it go.

If this boy is bothering her in or out of class, see the principal ASAP.
He could ask for a written apology, but he cannot ask for another student to be removed. He can ask that his daughter be moved, however.
 
Old 02-06-2019, 08:10 PM
 
11,802 posts, read 4,373,641 times
Reputation: 5150
I am older than you so you will have to filter the 35 years or so. I had three daughters go through school at the same time.

Wife was an RN...well trained and worldly. She was the neighborhood's expert on things female. And good at it. Very tricky because you have to be very careful about talking sex to other people's kids when they are in middle school or less. Easier with high school students.

In our community we would have simply had a conversation with the boy's parent(s) and asked them to put a stop to it. The oldest daughter was smart and stable and would put a kid who messed with her sisters in his place in a minute. The middle daughter had the problem of developing completely at 11. She was a stacked broad before getting to high school...and was quite capable of flaunting it. So she might well have leaned on a guy who sent her a nude drawing. She was not however easy or anything...she just enjoyed being desirable. And she could be really tough...not above taking a poke at a guy who got too friendly and particularly dangerous if protective big sister was around.

So in our time frame such an interaction would mostly have been handled between the kids or parents. If it got to the school it would have been a big deal...and would have been a lot more action than a single drawing.
 
Old 02-06-2019, 08:45 PM
 
740 posts, read 1,385,633 times
Reputation: 1206
Assuming this has been the only incident with this other student, I think flipping his schedule completely around would not be an appropriate reaction from a principal. He’d be doing nothing but changing schedules every day instead of working on improving behavior. Plus I think allowing the parent of one child to change the schedule of another person’s child would not be professional if the proper protocol has already been followed. You definitely want to make sure that teachers do not sit your daughter next to him in the future and the principal might allow your daughter to change classes if she feels that strongly about it.

A parent contact would be appropriate regarding the situation. If you spoke to the principal on the phone then that would be the only communication I would expect. I’m not sure what a formal write up of the incident would accomplish.

You can go to the superintendent, but in minor cases like this he will send you straight back to the principal. If you continue to pursue it, then you may be offered a level 1 grievance complaint. He will then do a formal write up of the incident and may even record your conversation with him as a record. You typically get the results in a certain time frame. The main issue I see with your plea for removal of the other student is that this seems to be a one time incident. A principal of a big school has most likely dealt with situations involving fist fights, drugs, criminal offenses, and more extreme cases of bullying. As traumatic as it might be to you, drawing a genital man would be small potatoes. If you continue filing complaints you may get to the school board and then they can turn down your demands as well.

Your daughter will certainly be exposed to much more in high school. This might be a good time to have a conversation with her about things like this. I remember a classmate when I was in 6th grade almost 30 years ago that specialized in drawing “genital men”.

Last edited by TXRunner; 02-06-2019 at 09:02 PM..
 
Old 02-06-2019, 09:00 PM
Status: "I don't have to agree." (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
8,336 posts, read 3,130,907 times
Reputation: 17547
Quote:
Originally Posted by hope2settle View Post
2. what next if the principal refuse to removed the boy from every my daughter classes? call school district superintendent or i have a base to consult legal advice?
I don't believe there is any basis for legal action here, based on the one incident. A repeated pattern of harassing behavior might be. But not just one incident.
 
Old 02-06-2019, 11:04 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
20,655 posts, read 13,549,666 times
Reputation: 28132
Quote:
Originally Posted by hope2settle View Post
Hi silibran,
thanks for your opinion and suggestion.
if you could share more:
1. what other resources i can print from internet as my valid reason to demand the boy be removed from every my daughter classes, when i meeting to principal.
since i felt very disappointed about how professionalism or ethic this principal of rank no.1 middle school in the district/ region handle the situation, i don't want when i meet him, he give trillions of excuses this and that.
2. what next if the principal refuse to removed the boy from every my daughter classes? call school district superintendent or i have a base to consult legal advice?
If your daughter is bothered that this boy is still in the class where he drew the obscene picture, you should insist he be moved. However, if he is in every class she has, this might not be feasible, especially if this a small school.

Is your daughter is still bothered by this boy in any way? If she is, then you need to talk with the principal. If she would rather drop the matter, then I think you have to do drop it.

But it is entirely proper that you advocate for your daughter when something like this happens. In fact, the principal should have notified you that some disciplinary action had been taken by the school. You are within your rights to speak in person with him. You are taxed to pay his salary, after all. And the welfare of your daughter is his responsibility.

You are within your rights to ask the principal if some disciplinary action has been taken. He probably cannot tell you any more than that, because of privacy issues. And you can certainly ask why he has not been removed, or has not apologized for his action. You do not need anything from the internet to do that. You are within your rights to ask.

Just understand that it is possible your daughter is ready to forget the incident. If she is, then I advise you to forget it also, for her sake. But if this boy is bothering her, then I would talk to the principal.

Talk to your daughter before taking doing anything. If she is being bullied, then meet with the principal.
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