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Old 08-20-2008, 02:46 PM
 
Location: a warmer place
1,748 posts, read 5,510,288 times
Reputation: 769

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My daughter has just started kindergarten. The public school she attends integrates special needs kids into the regular classroom. In the school there are 2 kindergarten classrooms with mixed in special needs kids. I know this because my neighbor has a special needs child who is in my childs class. The first week of school my daughter complained of a boy kicking her under the table. I didn't read into this too much until I later saw how bruised her ankles were. I don't know for sure if the bruises were caused by this child kicking her. A few days later she came home upset saying he (same boy) had hit her and poked her hard in the chest. I e-mailed the teacher who said they were aware of the problem and were working with the child and his parents to resolve it. Today my daughter came home with a note from her teacher saying he (they won't mention his name) had kissed her and teased her on the playground and she had been really upset. She was sobbing when she got off the bus. I e-mailed the teacher again who replied that this was a daily priority and Tess was not the only child he bothered. So now halfway through the second week of school, I am wondering why my child has to be subjected to this bully. I believe (but am not sure) he is a special needs child as the teachers will not ever mention his name (they are supposed to be anonymous, no one knows who is or who isn't in the class). I am all for intergration into a regular classroom unless is disrupts and/or as in my childs case injures other students.

Do I wait and let another week pass by? Will public schools remove a child from a classroom. Has anyone else had this experience? I do not want my daughters first experience with public school to be negative. It breaks my heart to have a sobbing child get off the bus. I am trying not to overreact.

help.
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Old 08-20-2008, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Dunwoody,GA
2,239 posts, read 5,826,461 times
Reputation: 3409
I believe that I would be trying to schedule an appointment with the principal at this point. They can't share information about that child with you, but you can certainly share your concerns with them. If enough pressure is put upon them by you and other parents, perhaps that child's IEP could be modified. It sounds as though he might not be ready for that much time in the regular classroom. Just keep it calm and non-accusatory; you're much more likely to get results and be taken seriously.
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Old 08-20-2008, 02:57 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,531 posts, read 1,542,397 times
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No do not wait - I would go above the teacher to the principle immediately. One thing I will not tolerate is someone bullying my child. My dd came home from 7th grade on day crying, saying that another girl slapped her. I didn't even bother speaking to the teacher, I went directly to the principle's office the next morning. It was resolved almost immediately. With your daughter being so young and new to school, I would get this nipped in the bud asap. My heart goes out to her! I hope everything works out.
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Old 08-20-2008, 03:02 PM
 
6 posts, read 18,266 times
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From someone who works in the field, I agree....you must go above the teacher to get anything done. Just remember, your child has as many rights as anyone else in that classroom. Bullying, whether there is an IEP involved or not, is unacceptable.
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Old 08-20-2008, 03:09 PM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,832,402 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaday View Post
My daughter has just started kindergarten. The public school she attends integrates special needs kids into the regular classroom. In the school there are 2 kindergarten classrooms with mixed in special needs kids. I know this because my neighbor has a special needs child who is in my childs class. The first week of school my daughter complained of a boy kicking her under the table. I didn't read into this too much until I later saw how bruised her ankles were. I don't know for sure if the bruises were caused by this child kicking her. A few days later she came home upset saying he (same boy) had hit her and poked her hard in the chest. I e-mailed the teacher who said they were aware of the problem and were working with the child and his parents to resolve it. Today my daughter came home with a note from her teacher saying he (they won't mention his name) had kissed her and teased her on the playground and she had been really upset. She was sobbing when she got off the bus. I e-mailed the teacher again who replied that this was a daily priority and Tess was not the only child he bothered. So now halfway through the second week of school, I am wondering why my child has to be subjected to this bully. I believe (but am not sure) he is a special needs child as the teachers will not ever mention his name (they are supposed to be anonymous, no one knows who is or who isn't in the class). I am all for intergration into a regular classroom unless is disrupts and/or as in my childs case injures other students.

Do I wait and let another week pass by? Will public schools remove a child from a classroom. Has anyone else had this experience? I do not want my daughters first experience with public school to be negative. It breaks my heart to have a sobbing child get off the bus. I am trying not to overreact.

help.
I do not think you are over reacting. My experience with this sort of thing was not good. My oldest son was in a class where there was an autistic boy who was very difficult to control. He threw chairs, bit, screamed, threatened, etc. yet nothing was done to remove him from the classroom. My son was upset because his teacher was pregnant and he was afraid that something would happen to her baby (he was 11).

The bottom line is that ESE students have rights that trump the rights of every other student in the classroom. I am not sure why that is, but it seems to be true.

I would schedule a meeting with the teacher first, and THEN the principal and see where that goes.

Good luck to you.
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Old 08-20-2008, 03:11 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
603 posts, read 2,333,852 times
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As a teacher (and a mother of a first grader) I would schedule a conference with the teacher first (and ask if the parents of the other kid can also be there). If that conference does not change matters, than you should contact the principal.
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Old 08-20-2008, 04:21 PM
 
2,195 posts, read 3,629,954 times
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I agree with those who believe this has gone on long enough. If the school cannot keep your daughter safe in the classroom with the current level of staffing, then they need to either assign a staff member to watch this boy or to remove him from the class while the determine what the issue is (or issues are).

Conversely, you commented that I believe (but am not sure) he is a special needs child as the teachers will not ever mention his name (they are supposed to be anonymous, no one knows who is or who isn't in the class). I am all for intergration into a regular classroom unless is disrupts and/or as in my childs case injures other students.

I think you are leaping to conclusions in an unfortunate way. I would not mention this suspicion to the school at all.
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Old 08-20-2008, 04:33 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,841,717 times
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I'm so sorry to hear about everybody's bad experiences.
I remember when I was in class the few bad/anti-social/controlling students would ruin everything for me. Keep protecting and loving your kids though, don't give up.
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Old 08-20-2008, 04:42 PM
 
8,726 posts, read 7,368,678 times
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Just teach her to hit him in the nose as hard as possible, that will end him bullying her.
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Old 08-20-2008, 05:40 PM
 
Location: VA
549 posts, read 1,926,042 times
Reputation: 348
Quote:
Originally Posted by charz View Post
As a teacher (and a mother of a first grader) I would schedule a conference with the teacher first (and ask if the parents of the other kid can also be there). If that conference does not change matters, than you should contact the principal.
As a future teacher, I agree with this. The teacher may have noticed the bullying but he/she (the teacher) may not realize the severity. The parents of the bully probably know even less. At the meeting, stress that if no positive actions come from the meeting, you'll be forced to speak with the principal. The teacher will understand and in the unlikely scenario that he wasn't really caring about the situation, it'll light a fire under his butt (the parents of the bully too).

I'm taught to try and have good relations with parents. But it's a two way street. I'll make an effort for them to like me and if there's mutual respect, I plan to go quite a ways to keep them in the loop with their child. However, I'm not going out of my way for parents that disrespect me and go to my boss without letting me know. I wouldn't take it out on their kids but I'm not every teacher...
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