Is this ok? (middle school, course, teacher, better)

[maja]

I think, yes, it was inappropriate. But, I don't think it was the worst thing in the world and you really have to pick your battles. I'd be a little more "observant" of this teacher in the future probably, but I wouldn't bother anymore with this incident. Teachers are human, have days when they maybe forgot their Midol at home, etc. And she did apologize, although I don't believe you said if she apologized in private or in front of the class. I think in front of the class would be better. Hoping it doesn't happen again to your son...Good luck.

[jstn]

Originally Posted by sapphire

I really think overzealous parents are wussifying their kids beyond belief. And she even apologized. Let it go. The more it's dragged on, the more the kid thinks he doesn't have to shut up, when in fact, he does. Everyone wants to blame the teacher, blame the teacher. The boy needed to SHUT UP and finish his work.

And no, I'm not a teacher. And I agree with the previous poster who said that parents have said worse things to their kids.

Amen She probably finally snapped and said SHUT UP because the previous 500 attempts didn't seem to work. He's probably the same kid that gets told a million times to stop something at home by his parents, but never receives a consequence for not complying.

I'm sorry but a teacher has a very difficult job to do, and thanks to the "Latte" drinking dads these days, its even more difficult.

I always hear people say, "kids are different than they used to be."

No they are not, it's the parents that are different. Most of our parents would have wandered why in the heck we were stupid enough to be walking or talking during a test. Today's parent wants to know why little Johnny's feelings were hurt.

"Well dad, Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was acting like a disrespectful little brat!"

If that were my kid, I would schedule a conference. I wouldn't expect an apology from the teacher, but I would expect an apology from my son. I would then reconfirm, just so he knew, that this was her classroom and he needed to obey her rules and commands....THE FIRST TIME!

This is just a hypothetical rant obviously, as none of us really know enough info about the actual situation in question to make any actual assessments. But I'm just saying.....

[bluebelt1234]

Originally Posted by jstn

Amen She probably finally snapped and said SHUT UP because the previous 500 attempts didn't seem to work. He's probably the same kid that gets told a million times to stop something at home by his parents, but never receives a consequence for not complying.

I'm sorry but a teacher has a very difficult job to do, and thanks to the "Latte" drinking dads these days, its even more difficult.

I always hear people say, "kids are different than they used to be."

No they are not, it's the parents that are different. Most of our parents would have wandered why in the heck we were stupid enough to be walking or talking during a test. Today's parent wants to know why little Johnny's feelings were hurt.

"Well dad, Johnny got his feelings hurt because he was acting like a disrespectful little brat!"

If that were my kid, I would schedule a conference. I wouldn't expect an apology from the teacher, but I would expect an apology from my son. I would then reconfirm, just so he knew, that this was her classroom and he needed to obey her rules and commands....THE FIRST TIME!

This is just a hypothetical rant obviously, as none of us really know enough info about the actual situation in question to make any actual assessments. But I'm just saying.....

You are right. I am a teacher and will admit that one time I did tell a student to shut up. It only happened once in my 5 years of teaching. It only happened because anything else I tried with this student didn't work. I even tried various behavior plans where I offered him positive reinforcement for good behavior each day. It was at the end of the year and at this point I was at my wits end with this child's poor behavior. I even called his parents every day after school. One day they came in for a conference and his behavior was actually worse when he was with his parents. During this conference, his own mother snapped and told him to sit down and shut up. I did apologize to him.

[yankeegirl313]

I thought that this kid was getting on her nerves so I ask my son if he was getting into trouble before that happened. He said, no.
I know that its not the end of the World, for her to blurt out to her student to shut up, and turn around, but this is the same teacher who yanked a book out of my son`s hands, and threw it against the wall.
Meh. As a parent, our flags go up when he hear things that go on.
I just hope that the child told his parents about it.

[Sam82]

If your child was taking a test, why was he paying attention to the other boy?

I'm not trying to be mean, but a child's account of something that happened days ago may not be too reliable, especially if he was doing something else when this happened. It sounds like you have it in for this teacher. The "shut up" was not directed at your child, so you should not let it bother you.

[yankeegirl313]

Because.....when my kid comes home and tells me something like this, then he obviously knew that it wasn`t right, whether it is my own child, or someone elses. We parents have to keep our head up.

[Sam82]

You haven't answered the question. How reliable of a witness is your son? Wasn't he taking the test when all of this happened? How could he know what the boy was doing prior to being told to shut up?

[babigyrl5]

If I was the parent of that child I would have taken it to the principal. Bad day or not, thats unnacceptable.

[yankeegirl313]

Originally Posted by Sam82

You haven't answered the question. How reliable of a witness is your son? Wasn't he taking the test when all of this happened? How could he know what the boy was doing prior to being told to shut up?

The other boy apparently ask his teacher in front of the other students, who were..yes, taking a test. But.....if this is said "outloud" to where the rest of the students in the class could hear it, then they all heard and seen what was happening. Regardless whether they were all busy taking the test or not. It was apparently enough to make the boy start crying, and enough for the teacher to apologize.
My son is one of these kids who you have to pry information out of, to find out what is going on. He doesn`t come home and tell me about his day, etc..I always have to ask how he did on his math paper, etc..
For him to come to me, and tell me about this, then yeah...I pay attention. It has nothing to do if it was about my son or someone elses.

[Colddiamond102]

Originally Posted by raising3boys

I personally, have NEVER said shut up in a classroom. It is very inappropriate, even with "older students". You can say plenty of other things in a classroom to get control. If you have to yell, SHUT UP, you have lost complete control and respect of your students.

Sometimes though, students "hear what they want to hear". The teacher might have said , be quiet and turn around and the student MIGHT HAVE HEARD...SHUT UP. You never know.

Have to disagree there. I remember in high school we had a teacher that was very polite and soft spoken.She never told us to shut up or to turn around. It was always " Please be quiet" or "Thats not nice, will you please stop?" We didnt respect her worth a tinker's dam, and the classroom was chaos in 6th period.
She quit halfway into the school year, and when the new teacher arrived, we thought things were going to go on like usual. So she walks in, and we're talking (as teenagers do), and we hear her clear her throat loudly. We ignored her. She did this twice more, and after being ignored both times, she hopped up on a chair and shouted
SHUT UP! All of you, GET IN YOUR SEATS AND NOT ONE MORE SOUND!
We scrambled to do as told, and the rest of the school year went smoothly. No more fun for us. We respected her, and knew she wouldnt take any sh**

Politeness doesnt always work with kids. Sometimes it takes the old "giving orders" method to gain respect.

I loved that teacher, btw. She was fun to make mad ( I was one of those smart-arse kids that enjoyed aggravating teachers). But even so, I respected her and knew when to shut up, as did everyone else. And we LEARNED, despite being "emotionally traumatized" by being told to "shut up". lol