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Since this is my nephew, I have no authority in this matter. I am concerned as to what can/may happen if he fails 4th grade for the 2nd time.
We're in California. For the past 3 years, nephew's teachers wanted to hold him back. His mom (my SIL) begged and pleaded and convinced the teachers not to. Well, the 3rd time, they finally held him back. So this year, he's repeating 4th grade. His parents were supposed to get a tutor for him over the summer, but that didn't happen. Nephew tells me he's having trouble in school, but doesn't care. He's 10, of course he doesn't care. All he cares about is playing baseball and football. Evidently, that's all his parents care about, too. The kid never does homework. The family spends 4 nights a week at the park for nephew and his older brother (who's doing fine).
So, my question is, if he fails again, is there something the school may have to do to push the issue with his parents? Again, we're in California. I'm asking so I can bring this up with his parents. I've never had kids, so I don't know what the laws, rules, protocols are.
Has he had an eye exam? Have you looked at his writing for possible signs of dislexia (spelling?)? Try to use college and pro-ball as a motivator for him to study. If his grades aren't good he won't get into college to play ball and his chances of going pro will be reduced.
I would recommend a private evaluation to rule in/out learning disabilities. He made need a different method of instruction not available in public school.
Um, I can't do any of that. I'm not his parent, but thanks for the suggestions.
My questions is, if he fails a second time, is the school obligated to bring it up with the parents to force some kind of resolution? As far as the parents are concerned, they'll address it if they're forced. Any suggestions from me would be blown off, and they're not offering any info. Personally, I think the kid just isn't doing his work.
Last edited by steelstress; 11-01-2008 at 11:00 PM..
Reason: Correcting my grammar.
My questions is, if he fails a second time, is the school obligated to bring it up with the parents to force some kind of resolution? As far as the parents are concerned, they'll address it if they're forced.
What do you mean by resolution? It sounds as if your nephew's present and past teachers have tried to convince his parents that he is having difficulty academically. The school can't force a parent to do anything; they can certainly make recommendations, and probably already have. Why do you think his parents resist the suggestions?
Most schools WILL not hold a child back more than one year. Unfortunately, you are experiencing what MANY teachers face, caring more than a parent cares.
I can only speak about my state, but as a teacher, I would be setting up a child study team ASAP to make sure things are documented.
I am curious, how do you know the child is not doing homework? Are the parents sharing things with you?
You might feel YOU have NO control over the situation, however there are some things YOU can truly do to make a difference in this child's life.
Have you thought about meeting with the teachers and principal? I would set up a meeting and explain that you are a relative and you CARE! You need to be the advocate for this child. They wont give you specifics about your nephew, but at least you can state your concerns. You could tell them that you will be coming for lunch, etc just so the child knows someone is looking out for his best interests. YOU could visit the class even. You wouldn't believe how many grandparents, aunts, uncles, I have visiting my class. I love when extended family is involved. The more people that care about a student- the better!
Try to become a volunteer in the school. (Even if it is once in awhile.) YOU CAN BE INVOLVED AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
Please, do not sit on the side lines. This child sounds like he needs an advocate and YOU NEED TO BE IT!
Because they have resisted the suggestions. They just slip it under the rug. those two aren't the most responsible, mature parents.
With truancy, if it gets bad enough, parents have to answer to a court. So, I'm wondering if the school would do more than make "suggestions" for a kid who stays in the same grade for 3 years? Can they put the kid in a program to get him to meet the requirements, regardless of what the parents say?
Can the school force summer school? I see that as the only hope for this kid if the school can't do anything more than make suggestions.
It seems like you sure have a lot more invested in this child than the parents do. You seem to think that the child is being slipped under the rug in the school setting. How do you know if YOU have not spoken to the school? I was just curious.
Um, I can't do any of that. I'm not his parent, but thanks for the suggestions.
My questions is, if he fails a second time, is the school obligated to bring it up with the parents to force some kind of resolution? As far as the parents are concerned, they'll address it if they're forced. Any suggestions from me would be blown off, and they're not offering any info. Personally, I think the kid just isn't doing his work.
Sad, very sad. Unfortunately, this is very typical these days. Like others have said, I would also suggest contacting the school yourself. You might be suprised how much the school is willing to work on a resolution because they finally have someone involved.
Have you voiced your concerns with your sister? I had a very similar situation with my sister. I knew it would put stress between us, but I felt as though my nephew was worth it. I finally quit being so subtle and tore her a new @#$hole. She was mad, but eventually got the point and actually became involved in the kid's education. I'll admit, the two of us never really got back to the way we were before. But in the end, I would do it all over again. Good luck!
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