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Old 11-06-2008, 07:40 PM
 
3 posts, read 15,037 times
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Wondering if anyone has any experience with holding back a kindergarten age boy or having him repeat kindergarten. Seems like this is not all that uncommon these days. That said, if we do "redshirt," my son will be 6 1/2 starting kindergarten (or starting his second year of kindergarten). We are considering this because we are leaning towards the Catholic school in our area. This school seems to prefer that boys be a bid older than the norm. Any feedback on either side would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 11-07-2008, 05:31 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
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Is he struggling in kindergarten? If not, then redshirting makes zero sense. If he is struggling, I'd try to find out why and look at all the options before making a decision like that. I can't imagine why a school would want a child starting 1st grade at 7 1/2 - where did you get that information?

And if you are thinking of doing this for sports (redshirting is a common term in college sports), please think again. The child is too young to know if he is a sports prodigy and too young to have to commit to a sport.
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Old 11-07-2008, 06:43 AM
 
Location: Boerne area
706 posts, read 1,385,137 times
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Texas, here. Age cutoff is Sept 1st.

Holding kids with summer birthdays here is quite common. My son's b/d is Aug 25th - this year he turned 5. We did not send him to K. I think it is much more harmful to have a kid repeat a grade in K or beyond rather than start him late. My son was held in the '2's class in his preschool until he was potty trained, so now he is on track to 'graduate' from preschool this year.

As soon as my son was born, I asked everyone I knew who had children in this situation what they decided and why. About half of the people I spoke to sent their kids 'on time', and the other half held the child so that he/she was an older K.

Of the 50% sending a younger child, half had no problems at all. The other half, however, said that at some point in the child's academic career the child struggled - some so much so that they had to repeat a grade. Maybe not in K, but in 3rd, or middle school, or even high school; at some point in the academic career they felt that their child being the youngest was not just a disadvantage but a real hardship for the child.

I have yet to meet a parent in that other 50%, the ones that held their child and started him late, who have regrets. Not one. That helped with my decision a lot.

Good luck to you in whatever you decide, it is not an easy decision.
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Old 11-07-2008, 06:58 AM
 
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Very, very common here. Not repeating K, but starting the first year of K when the child is 6.
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Old 11-07-2008, 07:05 AM
 
Location: Montrose, CA
3,031 posts, read 7,492,744 times
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If you do redshirt him, never ever send him down with the landing party.
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Old 11-07-2008, 07:22 AM
 
3 posts, read 15,037 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maf763 View Post
Is he struggling in kindergarten? If not, then redshirting makes zero sense. If he is struggling, I'd try to find out why and look at all the options before making a decision like that. I can't imagine why a school would want a child starting 1st grade at 7 1/2 - where did you get that information?

And if you are thinking of doing this for sports (redshirting is a common term in college sports), please think again. The child is too young to know if he is a sports prodigy and too young to have to commit to a sport.
To answer - no not struggling in kindergarten at all. He's attending the public school for K and doing just fine. And, holding him back has nothing at all to do with sports. When we went through the screening at the Catholic school, they suggested he could use another year for maturity, not for academic preparedness. But, his birthday is in February. Apparently this school does lean towards boys being on the older side, but this seems much older. I never thought we'd be considering this with a February birthday. Has anyone done this and been glad they did it or wish they had not?
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Old 11-07-2008, 07:29 AM
 
Location: Montrose, CA
3,031 posts, read 7,492,744 times
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If YOU think he's ready, then put him in 1st. It's not like anyone else is going to know what you should do for your kid better than you do.
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Old 11-07-2008, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Finally back "home" in Ohio
620 posts, read 1,680,944 times
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I would think long and hard before repeating a grade if he is NOT struggling. It makes NO sense. It seems like the Catholic School is "old school" and believes boys do not do as well and girls when it comes to maturity. I can't believe a school would lump kids together like that strictly based on gender and thats exactly what it sounds like. If your child is ready to move on -MOVE HIM ON!

What does his present teacher say about his progress? I would trust her/him MORE than a school that has had limited contact with my child. JMO.

You do realize also that the school would be getting an "extra" year out of tuition out of you also. You have to look at it from the school's point too.
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Old 11-07-2008, 08:26 AM
 
Location: Montrose, CA
3,031 posts, read 7,492,744 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raising3boys View Post
You do realize also that the school would be getting an "extra" year out of tuition out of you also. You have to look at it from the school's point too.
I thought of that too. Along with the idea that perhaps their 1st grade is full and they don't want to lose a student, so they're trying to get you to put him in K again. As his parent, you know him best. Put him where you think he'll do well!
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Old 11-07-2008, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 31,442,227 times
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I'll frame this entirely from a social / self esteem standpoint and this is simply my opinion:

Being the youngest boy in the grade can definitley be a hardship. An age deficit of 10 months (for example) is very significant in terms of physical development for boys until somewhere around fifteen years. Feeling small and weak in relation to your peers is hard and I think everyone can agree that there are few creatures more cruel than pre-adolescent humans. I think that the decision to hold a summer birthday back for a year or not can have far reaching consequences. A boy who grows up feeling like the strongest among his peers will have a very different childhood experience than one who grows up feeling like the weakest. If you have the opportunity to influence that, I would definitely consider giving him that advantage.

All that said, you know what is best for your son. It seems like you are having misgivings about the victory lap and there is probably a good reason for that.

EDIT: I just read that he's a February birthday. To me, it's a tad unusual that the Catholic school would recommend a repeat.
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