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Old 02-20-2009, 06:59 AM
 
1,567 posts, read 674,809 times
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Default For this class we have to get into a group....

......and I don't have anyone to work with. I am the only person not in a group. I am way too shy and the thing is that 20% of the grade comes from the group project. Any suggestions?
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Old 02-20-2009, 07:18 AM
 
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Are you in High School or College? The best thing to do is to go up to the friendliest looking person and ask if you can join their group. If you are in HS, it is okay to ask your teacher for help.
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Moderator - Lehigh Valley, NEPA, Harrisburg, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Education and Colleges and Universities.

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Old 02-20-2009, 07:35 AM
 
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I am in colllege. I still am way too shy to do that.
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Old 02-20-2009, 08:18 AM
 
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 60-minutes-II View Post
I am in colllege. I still am way too shy to do that.

Unfortunately, though, many college classes do group work now. You'll just have to suck it up and approach someone. Certainly there is someone in the class you know from the dorm, or another class, or orientation, or the dining hall. PLEASE DON"T WAIT TO DO THIS!
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Old 02-20-2009, 09:38 AM
 
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60-minutes,
I think you HAVE to do this but there are ways to prepare yourself psychologically. Think about several things to say so you won't worry about being so tongue tied. Focus more on the person you have decided to talk to and less on yourself. Think ahead to how good it will feel to have this over with and be in a group working on the project. You can do it, take the first step.
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Moderator - Lehigh Valley, NEPA, Harrisburg, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Education and Colleges and Universities.

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Old 02-20-2009, 09:41 AM
 
Location: SW Missouri
14,710 posts, read 16,820,748 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 60-minutes-II View Post
......and I don't have anyone to work with. I am the only person not in a group. I am way too shy and the thing is that 20% of the grade comes from the group project. Any suggestions?
Tell the instructor. Have them put you in a group. Just sit there.

That's what I do. I HATE GROUP SCENARIOS. So I silently protest by not participating other than to "be present".

Sounds like you need to work on your shyness too. If you are that shy in college, how are you going to get a job someday?

20yrsinBranson
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Old 02-20-2009, 09:45 AM
 
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To the OP I know how you feel I have had to suck it up and approach someone on multiple occasions. I have always been extremely shy. I like toobusytoday's suggestion. Look for someone friendly. And look for a group with the least amount and just ask if they need help. Sometimes I will do what North Beach Person suggests. Look for someone that you recognize, especially if they are from another class. This will help you in the long run. At lot of times you are with the same students throughout your school career. It helps to make friends. I couldn't have made it through some of my classes without help from other students. I have also made some long term friendships this way as well as professional contacts.

Some advice from a major introvert
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Old 02-25-2009, 01:47 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
11,651 posts, read 10,381,324 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 60-minutes-II View Post
......and I don't have anyone to work with. I am the only person not in a group. I am way too shy and the thing is that 20% of the grade comes from the group project. Any suggestions?
One good thing about college is that despite being shy, you will have to extend yourself and get in a group by approaching someone. Consider it a part of your continuing development, yet another stuation that will help you grow.

Do it!
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Old 02-25-2009, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Alaska
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Is there anyone in class that you have spoken to that gave a friendly response or someone you're both in several classes? If so, approach that person and ask if you can join them. If not, find the group with the least number of people and ask to join them. The worst that can happen is that they say no, and guess what? That won't be the end of the world. If either of those approaches are too much for you, you can explain your situation to the professor and ask if he will discreetly request if any group has room for another person.

Terminal shyness is something many of us have had to overcome. Unfortunately, the only way to conquer it is to put yourself out there, knowing you'll receive some rejection. If you don't do it, you'll also miss out on the positive encounters.

Try roughly scripting out the conversation in your head or on paper if that helps.

You: Hi...,

(wait a sec for acknowledgment or response)

You: My name is 60-minutes-II and I'm in your __________ class.

(wait a sec for acknowledgment or response)

You: I haven't found a group yet for the project, so I was wondering if your group could use another person.

Responses beyond this point depends on their answer, but finish off by thanking them in either case.

When you join a group, don't sit back and be quiet. My experience has been that people who don't contribute or work, get dropped from the next group and that reputation gets around. Contributing solidifies your position in the group and in future groups. Interacting will also help you overcome your shyness.
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Old 03-02-2009, 11:00 PM
 
Location: Summerset, SD
310 posts, read 1,859,382 times
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Personally, I LOATHE group assignments. However, to be successful in school, business, and life in general, you have to talk to people. Networking is one of the key elements of success. Some of the most successful people are excellent "people" persons. That's one of the reasons why schools use group assignments. So do whatever you need to do to gather the courage to reach out to people.

By the way, if you're THAT introverted, you may have social anxiety disorder. Contact a school psychologist for help.
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