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Mental health professionals sometimes don't know or don't have time to properly assess.
Good point. And even when a patient is diagnosed correctly, a psychiatrist must make his/her best guess, based on symptoms, which medications will work best either singly or in concert (more often the case) in controlling those symptoms.
Add this to the list of variables: Psych meds have a wide array of side effects, many of which are almost as severe or disabling as the bipolar symptoms themselves. I've known a few people with bipolar disorder who choose to take lower doses of medications to avoid those side effects as much as possible, and then further manage their disease without pharmaceuticals, using lifestyle changes, talk therapy, etc.
Bottom line: Unless you're inside that woman's body, you have no idea what she's going through or what choices she's made.
Here's a better question, why would somebody with bipolar disorder become a teacher if she is not going to address her health issues? That is a position that involves a fair amount of responsibility and affects the children she teaches. How did she even get hired? Is there any possibility of removing your child from her class?
Well....after I read this I started thinking. When I got a job working for a major defense contractor that was located on an USAF base I do not recall having to disclose any potential mental health issues. .....
Generally, you have my sympathies, and my agreement that this woman should probably not be teaching. However, you have twice repeated this statement, which you have not supported with any evidence. I would venture to say that people who are bipolar don't like to take their meds because bipolar disorder is very poorly understood by mental health professionals, and for many patients there exist no drugs which help in any way.
Thank you. Based on her behavior I don't know that this woman should be teaching. Perhaps she is fine in the classroom but nothing has been said of that. But the rest....
I'm type 2 bp. That means my swings are mind and I tend to be depressed. I am on meds and do fine. But not ALL mood swings are bp caused and you can't fix them with a pill.
It has been my experience that medication while frequently necessary is used too easily. The doses are so high that people are more like zombies in some cases. I can *personally* testify that doctors do not look up the medical side effects or ask before perscribing. After two "mystery conditions" that were solved by dropping a medication (which were listed in the FDA papers) I verify this for myself. I refused one med because it was contraindicated by a warning on said papers and the doctor refused to see me again.
Point is, meds aren't the end all of treatment. Reducing stress, therapy, a good medical evaluation are all part of it and all need to be done too. And yes, for some they do not help. An old friend of mine is like that. Make a list of meds and he's tried them all. None of them worked. He stays home and friends check on him. If he could find something that worked he'd be very happy. But he can't.
This woman is having problems. Sleep problems are common and for some the only way to sleep is to be drugged into it. But she should not be asking the neighbors. The manic episodes are telling but if she is not exibiting them at school I'd say she is controlling. Some do work that way. When they are "on" they perform fine. Go home and let go. The fascination with the daughter is worrysome but we have only the word of the OP on this too. The getting into the house is certainly questionable.
I do have to question the "self medicating with alchol" though. Being out in the yard with a glass of wine is not being a drunk. If she has a lot of wine bottles maybe she just keeps them for some use and had plenty to offer. I think this is a judgment the OP has made without offering any valid observation except that she herself does not buy liguor because she takes care of a child, which hints that perhaps she does not approve.
She should ask her daughter how the woman is in class. If she was not functioning I would guess they would have many complaints. The school is responsible for the teacher in the classroom.
Reading over the op's posts a second time, its sounds like she is disturbed that her neighbor acts different than other people. It is not for her neighbors sake that she posts but for her own. If this was so worrysome that she feared for her daughter then I'd think she'd have called the police on the house, contacted the school, etc. But no, she posts here.
I'm not saying everything is hunky dore here but that look at whats been said. This insistance that "they" don't like to take their meds.... does this automatically put anyone who is bp into the "they" catagory? Is she looking at this neighbor this way because she is bp or because she is different? Is she assuming the woman to be a raging drunk because she had a glass of wine in the afternoon, or has wine bottles? Has she considered that this woman who is bp1 which is the most overt has managed to teach well enough she wasn't fired?
It also sounds like she's been recently diagnosed. There is a lot of denial and it takes time. People develope ways of coping and see things as okay. When she decides she can accept then she'll be receptive to meds and other things. But if she's doing a decent job at school I applaud her. If she goes home and cries then she's balancing in her own way. I do hope she will take treatment but with a condition.
Mental health pros unless they are also bp (and there are some ) do not understand the kinds of things meds can do which make people not want to take them. They damage memory. They dull creativity. They make you dizzy and unable to follow a train of thought. If this woman is functioning in her job she may be able to do fine now, but add drugs with mysterious effects and she may not be able to remember the kids names, or forget words here and there. She may "lose it" into subspace once in a while. Can she teach properly under these conditions? Would losing her job and ending up on disability allow her to pay her morgage? There could be a whole lot of stuff that is not being said. She has probably read up on this too. Would you risk livelyhood for drugs which could put you on the street?
People do stop meds sometimes because they did function better without them. Maybe not as "stable" but they functioned. Being a zombie all the time but "even" is not an improvement. There are nutritional treatments which work for some and always a minimum of meds which is something I insist on.
For the OP, ask yourself.... Before you complain to the school, make sure there is a problem AT school. Consider this woman is fairly new at it and if she doesn't act just like everyone else, so what? Thank her for the wine bottles and tell her she is NOT to come to your house. And think of those whom you worked with and consider if they who are under treatment could be holding down such a job. Remember that tutors can be crabby for more reasons than that and tutors who are not bp also can be bad tutors. Do not sit in your house and watch and worry without speaking to her about these things which bother you. Would you do this if it was the dog that barked all night?
Remember that your neighbor is a fellow human being and don't vilify her from a label.
Good point. And even when a patient is diagnosed correctly, a psychiatrist must make his/her best guess, based on symptoms, which medications will work best either singly or in concert (more often the case) in controlling those symptoms.
Add this to the list of variables: Psych meds have a wide array of side effects, many of which are almost as severe or disabling as the bipolar symptoms themselves. I've known a few people with bipolar disorder who choose to take lower doses of medications to avoid those side effects as much as possible, and then further manage their disease without pharmaceuticals, using lifestyle changes, talk therapy, etc.
Bottom line: Unless you're inside that woman's body, you have no idea what she's going through or what choices she's made.
OH, I'm not therapist but I did some work as a comapny case worker, triage, customer service appointment setting, all kinds of things at a mental health insurance
Frankly I don't want to get into a big thing with this person. She comes across as obsessive in the way she behaves and talks. When her behavior towards me changed, I wrote it off to that she was having bad time of it. We had been girlfriends sort of, although she is almost 20 years older then I. I thought it would be cruel for me to abandon someone I had called friend so I ignored her shift in behavior and still tried to be a helpful friend until she became TOO focused on my life in the ways I have described.
Maybe if I just leave it alone, this phase will pass and she will calm down. Maybe addressing this to anyone else, the police or her school will only make things worse since I actually live across the street from her. I just don't know but I do know I have a very low bar of tolerance for this kind of intrusive behavior into my life. Its just not something I know how to cope with. Honestly I am still reeling from the fact she felt she had the right to gain access to my home and then search each and every room, even the rooms with the doors closed. Maybe I am over sensetive but that was just staggering to me.
On the occasions when she actually gave me a key to her house when she was away and asked me to take care of her plants and cats, I never opened any doors that were closed nor did I enter rooms that I didn't need to. I thought of it as intrusive. I never spent time there, I just ran in and did what I needed to and ran out. I respect peoples privacy and their space. I did always try to love on the cat or cats she had when I was there, they need human contact but other then that, I didn't stray from my mission while I was there, it would NEVER enter my mind.
I am not looking forward to the summer while she will be off work and always home in my face. She will have all the more time to watch and worry about me.
I have been having a garage sale over the weekends so I can't get my car in the garage but that is going to have to change soon, then she won't have any idea if I am home or not. Maybe if the information she is searching for drys up, she will get bored or move on to someone else.
Note the bolded part. You are not medically trained. If you did appointment setting I can assure you that you may have seen a lot of people at the end of their rope. When I dealt with the county in California I filed several complaints against the office staff for lax record keeping. Even if you did great appointments get cancelled and its not rare that nobody calls the patiens who shows up anyway. Yes, I threw a few hissyfits and suprise, they found someone who was there. Sometimes it takes a squeey wheel.
I think leaving it be is a good idea. And read up on bipolar and meds. Check out some support sites where people talk about the problems they have. As a case worker you didn't hear this. You don't want to abandon her... so don't. I'm sorry she got in your house, but she didn't steal or damage. Try telling her she shouldn't have.
You gave the keys to someone else, didn't report it for months, nothing was taken and it was on your neighbor as an agent to give or not give. I had property taken from my apartment and was told to file a report online and finally after two months found out the people that took it didn't have it when they were raided. The police will see this as an annoyance and you'll end up with more of a problem.
You said you have a therapist. Maybe instad of focusing on her focus on you. Yes, she does need help but that is fully up to her. Yes, she needs a full medical workup (including checking for thyroid and other conditions which also effect sudden shifts in mood/behavior which could account for the sudden shift in personality), but then that is also up to her. Learn to deal with this yourself because this is not the first or last time you'll have to. Perhaps if you feel you can, get help from your therapist on how to get her to consider it without it being a confrontation. Also check out the DBA... Depressives and Bipolar Association. There are meetings in a lot of places. Its not only for those with the conditions but those who have to deal with them. There is no records, you just come and listen and speak. You might get some good advise on how to deal with her and make peace, and perhaps help. Think of the example for your daughter this would set.
Not being able to make a go of a marriage is not by any means exclusive to those who are bipolar. I don't know if that is what you meant but that was the implied meaning to your statement.
If this sounds a bit obsessive to you of me, remember I am bipolar. I deal with the stigma thing a lot. I hate it when I'm tired and chatting with an internet friend and am ask if I took my meds... yeah, this morning. So the way you came of as "these people" did not set well. I feel for your neighbor and if you want to do a really good thing do not push her away but be straight and honest and perhaps she might hear you. She is hurting and probably scared of losing her job. Life took a paragram shift. I'd say she's doing rather well if she's still working at her job. So maybe give her some credit, rather than sympathy. Maybe that would do a lot more to keeping the situation from making both of you miserable.
Yeah, well, sarcasm aside, you just brought up another issue with mental health treatment: accessibility and insurance coverage. Or the lack thereof. Another reason why some may choose to forego pharmaceutical treatment. Although it's not really much of a "choice" if you can't afford the medication, don't have insurance to see a psychiatrist, or are still on a waiting list to see a doctor who accepts fees on a sliding scale.
Yeah, well, sarcasm aside, you just brought up another issue with mental health treatment: accessibility and insurance coverage. Or the lack thereof. Another reason why some may choose to forego pharmaceutical treatment. Although it's not really much of a "choice" if you can't afford the medication, don't have insurance to see a psychiatrist, or are still on a waiting list to see a doctor who accepts fees on a sliding scale.
Good point. Where I lived, the waiting list for the first evaluation was three months. Then you saw the doctor again in two months. Stuff doesn't work, oops, still have two months to wait. And what if the generic is less effective than the real stuff but they won't pay for it?
Even with insurence mental health is not on par with physical medical care. But it should be because in most cases it is an imbalance in the chemicals that make the brain work, which isn't any different than being diabetic. But we don't make diabetics wait and swear them to silence if they want people not to 'wonder'.
Coverage for mental health on our insurance doesn't seem to skimp. There are no copays related to anything regarding mental health....vs nearly everything else where there is either a copay or we have to pony up as much as 20% for major events.
I guess my company wants to make sure we don't go off the deep end.
How would you feel if one of your children was in a classroom with a teacher who was officially diagnosed as bipolar, a teacher who refuses to take medication (the swan song of the bipolar), self medicates with alcohol AND has gone about the neighborhood asking others for narcotics to help her sleep when she is in a manic phase, also taking medication from her sister (who does get treatment).
I personally would be on fire if this person was allowed in the same room with my kid. How would you guys feel about this?
I think its important that people reading this understand what bipolar disorder is.
Read this and tell me if you would want your child alone with this person, or in a classroom with this person, ever in the same room with this person.
Factor in also that this person of who I speak REFUSES to take any form of treatment, will not see a therapist, will not seek treatment with a psychiatrist, saying she is fine without it. These claims by her are proof that her disorder is full blown control of her, not the other way around. This is not MY claim but the opinion of mental health professionals.
The bottom line question is: Does her disorder prevent her from being a good teacher? Does it get in the way? If so, then the school must address how they are going to help MAKE HER A BETTER TEACHER or to let her go if she can't improve. It's not up to them or to you to ensure she gets treatment.
I KNOW it because she told me all of this, asked ME for narcotics to help her sleep because she knew I had just been treated for kidney stones and had some Lortab. She drinks to help her come down from her manic phases. I am NOT against drinking but I am against people using alcohol to treat their psychiatric disorder AND then say they don't need treatment from a psychiatrist.
NONE of this is something from the grapevine, I know this all to be 100% true, she told me herself, I live in the same neighborhood with her. I have watched her in a manic phase, I have seen it all.
Assuming all you know about her personal life is true it still does not say anything about her professional competencies and if any of what you know is known to the school and relevant to her day time performance. Does she report to school under the direct influence of alcohol or is that a personal time activity?
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