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Its a really bad news because it not only creates a fear among other parents but also demoralize children. In this way they even get scared of getting out of the house.And if parents reacts in such a way then racism will never gonna end.The only way to put a full stop to such a deadly thing is to fight back, but not in their way. We have many Anti-Bullying organisation http://www.bullies2buddies.comwhich helps in providing relief to such victims.Parents should consult any such organisation and they will definitely get benefit.
You're absolutely right. This would be a situation where we as a society need to band together to defend the defenseless. If enough parents speak up about situations like that, then the school will be forced to deal with it instead of doing nothing out of the fear of retribution from the bully's parents and/or their lawyers IMHO. Apples don't fall far from the trees in my experience, and I think that may play a role in how a school deals with bullies as well.
That's one possibility. The other piece of our situation was that the administrators, both lovely individuals but completely out of their depth, were on a mission to "save" the two boys (socially, not religiously). Those poor misguided lambs didn't have involved parents (one kid's mom was in jail, the other was a charter member of the Dad Of The Week club), and they just needed to be shown some kindness and the error of their ways, and they'll eventually learn to make better choices, donchaknow. In the process, it became necessary to throw my daughter under the bus.
I'm sure no one would be surprised to hear that early the next school year one of the boys assaulted a lunch lady.
As both former HS teacher and oddball HS kid, I have seen time and time again that the only real way out for a kid who is being bullied is to fight back- decisively. If they are smaller, pick something up and make a statement in front of an audience. Parents- your job is to teach your child to be successful, not to hover and retaliate through threatened lawsuits. Nothing screams "weak" and paints a bigger target on your child than Mommy and Daddy threatening legal action. Pay a bigger kid to put his foot through your child's tormentor if you want a better use for your money.
My daughter is disabled. She is physically unable to "put her foot through her tormentor". My job as her parent is to get her through childhood alive.
Last year my son had problems with bullies. His personality just attracts them. When a bully sees that weakness, they are relentless. I discussed it with the teachers and it calmed down - going from a choking incident down to name calling. I told the school, that if they didn't keep their preppy rich kids in check, I was going to make sure my son goes ghetto on them and handled things hood style. The school was horrifed! I made sure my son understood that I did not care if he was expelled, he was to pummel any kids who hit him. We shall see how this year goes, as he will be in the same school. Lucky for me my son is big enough to handle his business, he just didn't want to hit anyone because I didn't raise them that way.
Ah, but when he did just that, defended himself, he was sent to detention. There's a lot more to the story, I've been ecouraged to take it to the media, you're right, the school was abusing him.
But I realized he has 5 more years of PS, then he graduates. We would probably spend all those 5 years fighting in court, making our lives a 3-ring circus, and get nowhere. I have the option to take him out, I'm in a position to homeschool, just do whatever works best for him. This last year of homeschooling has been such a relief, he's done a grade and half level, no lacking for social activities, sometimes I feel I''m run ragged taking him around, but we're both happy, that's all that matters. BHesides, lawyers cost money, its cheaper to send him to private school and go forward with our lives!
To think we pay taxes for that!!!
But, like I said, this is how schools handle bullying. Its not just my kid, I've heard it from others as well. They send the bullied child to counseling, and label him (the bullied child) as being a social misfit. Never send the bully to counseling.
I'm afraid incidents like this will continue, and the more anti-bullying laws we have the worse it will get. Bullying doesn't happen in well-managed school, so, if a parent complains their child is being bullied, they and their child are somehow to blame. Besides, teachers like bullies, its a way to control the class via proxy!
Its a shame we aren't comfortable sending our kid to the very school we pay taxes for, but we've found it better to cut our losses and go on with living.
My daughter is disabled. She is physically unable to "put her foot through her tormentor". My job as her parent is to get her through childhood alive.
What part of that do you not get??
And where did you learn to read? I never said she should do it- your automatic flying off the handle half-cocked could be part of her problem.
If you take this pugnacious attitude at school, you will probably alienate her teachers. You do not want them deciding your daughter needs to grow up and learn to deal with problems on her own. Thats teacherspeak for not wanting to get involved. I will say that schools will never officially say so- but they much prefer to see justice work itself out, as situations such as bullying are seen as "lose-lose" by administrators.
Last edited by oldenfatt; 07-16-2009 at 09:33 PM..
Ah, but when he did just that, defended himself, he was sent to detention. There's a lot more to the story, I've been ecouraged to take it to the media, you're right, the school was abusing him.
But I realized he has 5 more years of PS, then he graduates. We would probably spend all those 5 years fighting in court, making our lives a 3-ring circus, and get nowhere. I have the option to take him out, I'm in a position to homeschool, just do whatever works best for him. This last year of homeschooling has been such a relief, he's done a grade and half level, no lacking for social activities, sometimes I feel I''m run ragged taking him around, but we're both happy, that's all that matters. BHesides, lawyers cost money, its cheaper to send him to private school and go forward with our lives!
To think we pay taxes for that!
But, like I said, this is how schools handle bullying. Its not just my kid, I've heard it from others as well. They send the bullied child to counseling, and label him (the bullied child) as being a social misfit. It also helps to label the entire family as misfits, we had CPS out here 3X's for utter nonsense, we know the school sent them but you're never supposed to know who the "reporter" is.
I'm afraid incidents like this will continue, and the more anti-bullying laws we have the worse it will get. Bullying doesn't happen in well-managed school, so, if a parent complains their child is being bullied, they and their child are somehow to blame. Besides, teachers like bullies, its a way to control the class via proxy!
Why in the world would Child Protective Services be involved?
As both former HS teacher and oddball HS kid, I have seen time and time again that the only real way out for a kid who is being bullied is to fight back- decisively. If they are smaller, pick something up and make a statement in front of an audience. Parents- your job is to teach your child to be successful, not to hover and retaliate through threatened lawsuits. Nothing screams "weak" and paints a bigger target on your child than Mommy and Daddy threatening legal action. Pay a bigger kid to put his foot through your child's tormentor if you want a better use for your money.
Great point. I have always found that beating the bully's a*s, especially in front of a bunch of people, is almost 100% effective at stopping the bully and preventing future bullying.
Take the suspension.
It's worth it.
And where did you learn to read? I never said she should do it- your automatic flying off the handle half-cocked could be part of her problem.
If you take this pugnacious attitude at school, you will probably alienate her teachers. You do not want them deciding your daughter needs to grow up and learn to deal with problems on her own. Thats teacherspeak for not wanting to get involved. I will say that schools will never officially say so- but they much prefer to see justice work itself out, as situations such as bullying are seen as "lose-lose" by administrators.
This is what I ran into, any time a parent defends her child she becomes the problem.
Schools never just tell the bully to knock it off, that would admit a problem exists in the first place. Take the "hear-no-evil, see-no-evil" attitude, the first time they acknowledge anything is even going on is when the parent of the bullied child advocates for them, then they deny the problem. What else do you expect them to do, admit they allow a problem to just go on under their nose?
Why in the world would Child Protective Services be involved?
Long story, but when I started complaining about the situation, suddenly CPS showed up for nonsense, once for not being dressed appropriately, when he tore a shirt while at school, charge was I sent him to school in torn clothes, also, inappropriate for weather, he forgot his jacket on the bus, and once for not providing proper nutritional support, or some such nonsense, he forgot his lunch.
All that was to blindside me from bringing the issue forward, that they just sat there and let him be abused, physically and verbally, by a group of kids, they even sided with the bully at times!
Lets get back to the OP, about how a child was so tormented he committed suicide, just from this type of crap!
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