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Old 01-25-2010, 03:39 PM
 
693 posts, read 1,357,117 times
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A good friend of mine begged her parents to go to boarding school. They sacrificed a lot to do it. She absolutely thrived. I know many other kids that went to boarding school because of either tradition or necessity and did fantastic. None of them felt unloved or shipped off, and instead on the whole had positive experiences. If the motivation is to get rid of your kid, the kid is going to sense the lack of love whether they are shipped off to boarding school or not.

The negative biases represented in here regarding boarding schools are somewhat amusing. It would be like me saying that parents who share their beds with their kids are raising pathetic clingy cry babies with no sense of independence. And I know full well that isn't true, also knowing a few kids raised that way who are delightful independent young adults.

Each kid is unique, and it's up to the family to decide what is best.
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Old 01-25-2010, 03:55 PM
 
Location: The South
3,496 posts, read 4,870,684 times
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You also have to consider there are many different kinds of boarding schools.

Some specialize in learning disabilities, some are for children with discipline issues, some are for more advanced academically. You have to fit the school to your child.

The negative stereotype comes mostly from Hollywood. The "bad boy" being shipped off, the spoiled rich kid whose parents are too busy.

In truth, many schools are for middle of the road, mostly upper middle class families. Someone further back mentioned car dealers, doctors, lawyers, business owners in more rural areas where the public school is questionable and that is very true. But just as many are like my children -- lost in large public schools or not the uber-over-achiever of the very high end private day schools in large metro areas.

It can be a wonderful experience if you find the right fit.
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Old 02-04-2013, 02:36 AM
 
Location: Aalborg, Denmark
1 posts, read 908 times
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A lot of former students seem to regret their stay at boarding schools.

Is it safe to assume that the requirement for success is that the students agrees to the stay in advance?

Last edited by toobusytoday; 02-04-2013 at 06:35 PM.. Reason: New posters cannot make recommendations
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Old 02-06-2013, 08:55 AM
 
Location: New York City
4,036 posts, read 8,516,988 times
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I went to boarding school and absolutely loved it. It completely changed my life and I have to say that I’m far better “educated” than my brother and sister who didn’t want to go. If you’re motivated, you can work 12 to 16 hours a day on all sorts of projects and activities (a habit I’ve kept all my life). It was like going to college four years early—with a curfew and stricter rules.

I’ve known many, many people who went to boarding school and while their experiences were mixed, I don’t know anyone who regretted it altogether.

Boarding schools are so fraught with issues of class and status that it’s hard for most people to consider them objectively. As most people haven’t experienced them, they rely on stereotypes from movies, etc., which are a long way from reality.

My advice to any parent is: if your child wants to go and you can afford, do it.
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Old 02-06-2013, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Striving for Avalon
1,390 posts, read 1,960,459 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tpk-nyc View Post
I went to boarding school and absolutely loved it. It completely changed my life and I have to say that I’m far better “educated” than my brother and sister who didn’t want to go. If you’re motivated, you can work 12 to 16 hours a day on all sorts of projects and activities (a habit I’ve kept all my life). It was like going to college four years early—with a curfew and stricter rules.

I’ve known many, many people who went to boarding school and while their experiences were mixed, I don’t know anyone who regretted it altogether.

Boarding schools are so fraught with issues of class and status that it’s hard for most people to consider them objectively. As most people haven’t experienced them, they rely on stereotypes from movies, etc., which are a long way from reality.

My advice to any parent is: if your child wants to go and you can afford, do it.
This post is a good insight.

I myself am private school educated, but two very close friends from my undergrad years were from Blair and Peddie. I was acquainted with students from Deerfield, P Exeter, and some of the "St Grottlesex" schools. (At my university, the Americans were disproportionately sourced from elite private and boarding schools)

Some observations: All of those I knew were decidedly upper class "1%'ers." By their own testimonies, the student population consisted of a mix of rich and "average" Americans, the children of wealthy Asian businessmen, and the scions of Latin American political and narcotics aristocracy (they weren't kidding). Europeans were a conspicuously absent demographic. My friends LOVED the experience and NEVER felt as if they were being warehoused by their parents. They were thankful for the opportunity and keenly aware of the quality of education acquired. The school culture was decidedly upper class. On the plus side, this meant a great deal of independence and drive, combined with a strong success mentality (it does help to be born on third base). On the other hand, there was drinking, partying ($$$), and conspicuous consumption on a level most wouldn't fathom. I've heard some stories that were straight out of a Bret Easton Ellis novel. Uniquely, regardless of the personality of those I knew, all were class conscious to some degree: for some it bred anxiety, in others high-minded snobbery, in others a desire to see greater equality, and others recognised it but ignored it by and large.

I'd say do it. These schools provide the finest classical western educations I have seen. The negatives I outlined pale in comparison with the quality of education and networking available. Many of those from my undergrad years have since been recruited by elite firms and graduate programs. If I have kids, I will definitely push that option (assuming I pass on my better cognitive genes).
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Old 02-06-2013, 03:56 PM
 
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If the kid has serious behavior problems and the parent knows they don't have the ability (or desire) to correct it on their own, then it's probably a wise choice and in the kid's best interest.
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Old 02-06-2013, 10:28 PM
 
Location: New York City
4,036 posts, read 8,516,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelorn View Post
Some observations: All of those I knew were decidedly upper class "1%'ers." By their own testimonies, the student population consisted of a mix of rich and "average" Americans, the children of wealthy Asian businessmen, and the scions of Latin American political and narcotics aristocracy (they weren't kidding). Europeans were a conspicuously absent demographic. My friends LOVED the experience and NEVER felt as if they were being warehoused by their parents. They were thankful for the opportunity and keenly aware of the quality of education acquired. The school culture was decidedly upper class. On the plus side, this meant a great deal of independence and drive, combined with a strong success mentality (it does help to be born on third base). On the other hand, there was drinking, partying ($$$), and conspicuous consumption on a level most wouldn't fathom. I've heard some stories that were straight out of a Bret Easton Ellis novel. Uniquely, regardless of the personality of those I knew, all were class conscious to some degree: for some it bred anxiety, in others high-minded snobbery, in others a desire to see greater equality, and others recognised it but ignored it by and large.
This was exactly my experience. There was a group of girls whose fathers were in prison for drug trafficking or white-collar crime. I lived across the hall from a guy who was literally a prince. He was very nice and had no airs and graces. If we wanted a pizza he would call the consulate and they would send over the Rolls to take us.

It was a complete education where the faculty, and particularly the headmaster, were concerned about things like speech, posture and dress. I remember one day the headmaster stopped me in the hall because my glasses were to loose and sitting low on my nose. He personally adjusted them and insisted I see an optometrist immediately to have them corrected. I also remember being chastised in front of the entire class by my history teacher for pronouncing the word “Iraq” incorrectly.

Such things would seem bizarre and intrusive in an ordinary school.

The whole point is to educate people to be at ease in any social situation. I have to say, it has come in handy. My job requires me, on occasion, to interact with ambassadors, prime ministers, presidents and other VIPs. It very useful to know how to be relaxed, have a conversation on any topic, and not embarrass myself by pronouncing “Iraq” incorrectly. I would not feel as confident if had not had that sort of education.
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:19 AM
 
404 posts, read 686,243 times
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I went to boarding school by choice and loved it

Sent from my AT&T Samsung Galaxy Note
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Old 02-07-2013, 11:51 PM
 
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my 2 relatives attend the boarding schools,
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Old 02-08-2013, 01:35 AM
 
Location: at the beach
91 posts, read 143,465 times
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I was a late in life "surprise" kid. My four siblings were 8-15 years older than me. I was extremely bored and unchallenged in public school. There were no "gifted" programs and I skipped two grades in elementary school which did nothing to challenge me academically and socially was a bad idea.
By the time I finished 8th grade, my parents were at war w/ each other and I wanted to get away from the drama. I asked about boarding school and knew I would have to get academic scholarships to make it happen. I applied to several schools that had excellent financial aid and was accepted and offered full scholarships by three schools. I chose a school in western MA that was about two hours from my parents' home.
I did well, received a very good education, was accepted by several private colleges and offered full 4 year scholarships.
For me, boarding school was the right choice and I never regretted a minute spent there.
-izzy
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