Wondering why? (middle school, teacher, girls, systems)

[flik_becky]

Do you think it might have anything to do with kids at this age begging their parents not to attend because it is not 'cool'?

[kickchick2000]

Originally Posted by HighlandsGal

Last night was our first round of parent teacher conferences. They went from 4-8 pm. Out of the 187 students I teach this semester, I had a grand total of 1 parent show up!! Of course, this is a good student and she is currently receiving a B in my class. I spent the rest of the evening calling and emailing parents of the students failing my classes. (about 30)

I arrive at school this morning and I received no voice mails or emails responding to my concerns.

I am sitting here today on this Friday morning before work begins, dead tired, and wondering why parents are so disinterested..............

I feel your pain.

[JBMallory]

Originally Posted by flik_becky

Do you think it might have anything to do with kids at this age begging their parents not to attend because it is not 'cool'?

if that works, then again

parents. suck.

[charz]

I don't know what level the OP teaches, but my guess is that he/she is in a middle or high school. I teach in a high school and (in the last 9 years) my record is 4 in a night. This year my school has had an Open House and a Parent-Teacher Conference night --I had 0 attend both nights. I called before parent-conference night with an urgent report to a parent that her 12th grade son is failing and to please call or attend. It's been 13 days and she hasn't even called. We just attended our kids' parent-teacher conference in an elementary school and they had every conference block booked. Parents seem more disinterested in education as their kids get older. In reality, high school is when kids need their parents' attention even more.

[kek1993]

When I taught school, I taught special education, and went to IEP meetings, often the parents did not show up, even after letters, and phone calls.
I always felt it was sad for undocumented children, especially the bright ones, why bother to go to school? They can't get papers, go to college anyway. And the ones in special ed, were not eligible for SSI or other services after graduation. That is a huge mess in the west, that no one really wants to acknowledge.

[flik_becky]

I think that many parents are left to feel that they are violating their child's right to having their own life. Junior high and high school is seen as the social scene by kids. When parents try to get involved, they are pressured by their teens and every teen oriented show out that there, to stay out of their teens lives, to give them privacy. So rather than focus on the academics, the focus is on trying to maintain a certain type of relationship with their kids and giving their children the space they feel they deserve. Many believe that their levels of communication (ie trying to be friends with their kid) will allow them to have open conversations where their child comes to them with their issues and struggles in school or liife. They have this sort of feeling that teachers are trying to tell them how to raise their teens. They think that their mediocre conversations at home are somehow going to get through to their child like no teacher could. A lot of the time, student and parent look at the teachers their children as bullies and how dare you fail their precious child rather than put any focus on changing the outcome through stepping up to their responsibility as parents.

TV, media and many years of teachers complaining about "helicopter" parents have really reduced the confidence and knowledge parents need to do their jobs.

My thinking comes from growing up and my sister always screaming at our parents, "You're ruining my life!" whenever they wanted to talk about school or anything. When I had issues with a very bad teacher who we stood up against her to get rid of her (she indeed did not come back the next year), my sister lost her mind and was horrendously embarressed to go to school and face her friends because she just knew their parents were talking about what her father had published in the local paper about her. She was embarressed if my mother stopped to chat for a moment in the gocery store with a teacher of hers that they'd run into or waved at one as they drove by her on the road. My mother magnified it by threatening embarressment at every chance.

When I was a teen, I thought more like an adult and felt comfortable talking with other adults, teachers or otherwise, about everything and anything where as the kids my age did not have any understanding. I do not think that is the norm.

[Pastelito de limon]

Huh. I have about a 140 high school students in my classes. For parent/teacher night, I was absolutely SWAMPED. I had 80 parents show. They lined up outside my door! I feel really lucky that this is the case after reading this thread.

[charz]

Certain teachers in my school are swamped at conferences, too. They usually teach the advanced kids. What I have found is this: teenagers want their parents involved. I've had students tell me that they want their parents to come to school and be concerned about their grades. I remember when I was in high school, I was upset that my mom didn't go to a single open house in high school. Looking back, I understand that she was newly single and struggling with raising 3 kids on her own; however, at the time, I took it to mean that she didn't care anymore.

[HighlandsGal]

I also posted this in the Parenting thread -- totally different outlook for most parents -- seems a lot of them view conferences as a "total waste of time"

Check it out if you'd like!

Pastelito de limon -- glad you had such a great turnout! My grand total for 7 hours of conference time was 3 parents!!

(at least I got a ton of work done)

[TelecasterBlues]

mmmmm...this year I had 1 set of parents show up, and the parents were responsible for a student who presently holds a 97 average. They wanted to know if there was anything that their son could do to help raise his percentage...go figure, you know?