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Old 12-13-2009, 06:58 PM
 
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Default we have a Daughter that has no idea what she wants to do

Hi All,

We have a daughter whose in her senior year of high school and has no clue what she wants to do? The school career guidance has not been of any help...We've asked her what she enjoys doing for example hobbies that may give her atleast an inkling...All we get is a blank stare and I don't have a hobby or know what I like...What do we do????
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:22 PM
 
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This response is based on the assumption that you mean she does not know what she wants to major in in college- not sure if that is what you meant though.

You can help her look at what she excels in in school. After you have narrowed that down, you can help her figure out what she actually likes (or would like to learn more about).

She could also take the Strong Interest Inventory (not sure if that is aimed at hs students) - many career sites set up by colleges or state employment divisions have some free versions that might be a good starting point. Myers-Briggs is another popular one.

Once she has some idea - the occupational outlook handbook is available online and can give information about different jobs. And there will also be sites for the associations for various careers.

It might take some time in college to be exposed to what is available for her to make a final decision. If she enters college completely undecided, my advice would be for her in her first semester or two would be to take the required core courses, and for each subject, take the highest level one available to her (eg- sometimes there are 2 or 3 different versions of Biology depending on whether you are a science major or not).

If she is resistant to your help ("interference") you can maybe find some generic "what should I do with my life" career guides and leave them out for her to peruse.

Good luck!
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
3,537 posts, read 4,806,790 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tonyandclaire89 View Post
Hi All,

We have a daughter whose in her senior year of high school and has no clue what she wants to do? The school career guidance has not been of any help...We've asked her what she enjoys doing for example hobbies that may give her atleast an inkling...All we get is a blank stare and I don't have a hobby or know what I like...What do we do????
You let her graduate and get a full-time job until she figures out what she wants to do. I am speaking from 1st hand experience. I graduated from high school and went directly to college without any direction. My head was spinning. I ended up quitting college and getting a full-time job and over a year's time I decided that I did actually want to go to college and went. Senior year is CRAZY in high school if you have no idea what you want to do. Everyone else is busy going insane with their college applications and it's so intimidating and downright scary. That's what I recommend.
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:25 PM
 
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Ask her to take an aptitude test.

Myers Briggs Type Indicator Career Test

Student ASVAB test

Personally I think the ASVAB is a better test. There are several versions of the test available, and the others are used by military personnel in helping place recruits. But the Student ASVAB can be taken by any high school student whether or not they have any desire to join the military.

Other aptitude tests can be useful, but the questions are often written such that it is really obvious what kind of career they are testing for. They tend to produce results that show what a testtaker would like to do, rather than what they have a natural ability to do well. And when a person isn't sure what they want to do with their life, they could take such a test every day and get a different result, depending on their mood.

The ASVAB is more discreet in the question format--and because of that, the results are less biased and more accurate.

I took the Student ASVAB as a high school student, and if I recall, the results rank your aptitude. There should be a list of about 5 or so occupations that the test taker has a strong aptitude for, another dozen or so that they could be good at but not necessarily a natural, and others that, well, they could do, but probably wouldn't find it as easy or enjoyable as the occupations listed in the former categories. The point is really to point the test taker in the right direction, and give them some ideas they may not have thought of on their own.

Probably the last thing a high school student wants to do is take another test, but there is no right or wrong answer in these tests. If she really really is resistant to the idea of taking a test or pursuing a vocation, then let her finish high school and get a job. Nothing like suddenly facing the rest of your life with no goals and very little money to suddenly make you think of all the things you want to do with your life.

Last edited by kodaka; 12-13-2009 at 08:08 PM..
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:31 PM
 
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Many colleges do not allow students to declare a major in their first year or two because it is rare for any 18 year old to know what they want to be when they grow up.

Is she offering any alternatives for how she plans to spend her time? I can give you some general advice, but odds are they are all things you have already thought of:

1. Work full time and see how far just a high school diploma gets you without a clear plan or ambition. I have two nieces who both decided to work for Dominos Pizza instead of going to college. One decided to make this her career and is now the manager of several locations at the age of 24. Her benefits and salary are much better than my own (I'm a teacher, so its all relative ). Her sister looked at that as just an easy job where she could still party with her friends. She is still making minimum wage, has no benefits and lives at home.

2. Start at community college and work part time. Community colleges are really great places for young adults who are unsure what they want to do. Many offer great two year programs that you can either use as is or transfer to a 4 year college.

Good luck working through this!

Last edited by cabarrusmom; 12-13-2009 at 07:32 PM.. Reason: clarification
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Old 12-13-2009, 07:46 PM
 
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You know when I had my senior year I had 50 billion people breathing down on the back of my neck about on a daily basis so EVERYONE having an idea what I should be. I hated it! Dare I mention I want to have my own business? Ok...I tried. Everyone discouraged saying that I didn't have the money to do that, didn't have the IQ to do that, didn't have the skills to do that. Guess what I was doing before my peers graduated from college? Yup, running my own business. There was a lot of pressure without a moment to just be left alone about it. My answer was "I don't know" because it was better than hearing how I couldn't do half the things I wanted to do or people all but filling out the paperwork to send me off in the direction THEY felt I should take. Parents are usually, with no surprise, the worst. I'm a risk taker, always have been but I am also strong in decision making and forseeing possible problems and avoiding them so running my own business was actually a good job for me, not to mention my easy frusteration with leaders who don't know what the heck they are doing as they sometimes could not see the problems with the decisions they sometimes made. What worked for me was moving away from all my friends and family, limiting my contact with them and running my own life.

My advice, let the girl alone. It is her life. Just be there for her when she needs the help to get things rolling when she is ready.
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Old 12-13-2009, 08:01 PM
 
Location: Kauai, HI
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As long as she wants to go to college, the rest will work itself out. A huge majority if my friends were either undeclared as freshmen or switched their majors around throughout college (many did so numerous times). Personally, I chose one of my two majors prior to enrolling and picked the second when I was a sophomore and I never would have even considered it prior to being a student. It will work out in time!
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Old 12-13-2009, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Maryland not Murlin
7,205 posts, read 13,438,495 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tonyandclaire89 View Post
Hi All,

We have a daughter whose in her senior year of high school and has no clue what she wants to do? The school career guidance has not been of any help...We've asked her what she enjoys doing for example hobbies that may give her atleast an inkling...All we get is a blank stare and I don't have a hobby or know what I like...What do we do????
Perhaps she doesn't want to do anything. Or maybe she is feeling pressured to make a decision now. Ask yourself this; does she want to go to college, or is it you who want her to go? There is still plenty of time for her to figure out what she wants to do with her life.

What do you do? Well, you let her live her own life. Sooner or later she will figure out what it is that she wants to do.
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:10 PM
 
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You let her be and stay at home then when the question is do you wish to go on?
If not, she then does need a job to pay for her car etc., at least she is honest! Also if there is a community college she might take the core subjects
and have pressure of till she gets an AA. Then she might go towards her dream?
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Old 12-13-2009, 09:54 PM
 
2,175 posts, read 2,075,850 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Luv View Post
Perhaps she doesn't want to do anything. Or maybe she is feeling pressured to make a decision now. Ask yourself this; does she want to go to college, or is it you who want her to go? There is still plenty of time for her to figure out what she wants to do with her life.

What do you do? Well, you let her live her own life. Sooner or later she will figure out what it is that she wants to do.
Ask yourself this:

Is there a mention of the word "college" anywhere in the original post?


Why do you assume that is what the parents are about?
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