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Old 03-17-2010, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Hades
2,126 posts, read 2,114,499 times
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Both the school admin and the parents. The real problem does arise when one finds that the parents don't give a hoot that their kid is bullying. I remember being a substitute at a school and seeing a kid do something inappropriate at recess. I reported it to his teacher. The teacher was like "Well, this is his 5th strike for the day so I guess we'll have to call the parents." Come to find out that this 3rd grader has a lawyer that represents him (!!!!). It's pitiful. I imagine the parents just got so sick of being called at work that they figured they had some rights and that the school needed to do their job to rein in the kid and they also brought a lawyer into the picture. I agree with zero tolerance bullying but of course, also instilling in the kids that it's also a serious "offense" to wrongfully report someone. Wrongful reporting should be met with suspension, imo. I don't believe in the kids will be kids. There needs to be some consequences that also show the families that they need to have a sit down and this stuff won't be tolerated.

And also, the issue of cyber bullying is something in the forefront today. Kids take their bullying issues and angst home with them and continue it in cyberspace. There's that awful case of the girl who committed suicide after one of her peers mother set up a fake Myspace account. After the suicide, when the whole thing came to light, that woman had to put her child in another school district and her business went to complete pot. Kind of a different case as it was an adult basically bullying a child in a warped way, but entire families will suffer in bullying cases often times.
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Old 03-18-2010, 12:09 AM
 
Location: Lafayette, Louisiana
14,095 posts, read 23,701,738 times
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And what about addressing bullying by public school teachers? I was born with a right foot that turns outward causing me to walk funny all my life. It's one thing to get teased about it from fellow students, it felt totally different when the PE coach teased me about how I walked in front of the whole class. At that time I wanted to run to the principal's office to report his behavior but didn't because I felt that the principal would back the teacher instead of the student. Sort of like the teacher who wrote on a student's paper -20% for being a loser. Perhaps some teachers need to grow up before expecting the students to do the same.
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Old 03-18-2010, 07:25 AM
 
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I'm not defending bullying, especially when it gets taken to extremes or results in physical violence. However, as a person that got picked on throughout school, I find it a little difficult to believe that getting teased about some form of difference is the worst thing in the world. Part of the responsibilities have to lie with those individuals around students that are getting bullied. Parents should be teaching kids that someone making fun of you is not the end of the world. If kids don't develop coping skills to handle some form of diversity they are going to be in for a rude awakening when they grow up and everyone doesn't want to hug them. So yes schools and parents should try and limit bullying, but at the same time they should also be providing for the development of skills that can help those getting picked on.
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Old 03-18-2010, 08:26 AM
 
Location: Baywood Park
1,634 posts, read 6,045,829 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by morandr View Post
I'm not defending bullying, especially when it gets taken to extremes or results in physical violence. However, as a person that got picked on throughout school, I find it a little difficult to believe that getting teased about some form of difference is the worst thing in the world. Part of the responsibilities have to lie with those individuals around students that are getting bullied. Parents should be teaching kids that someone making fun of you is not the end of the world. If kids don't develop coping skills to handle some form of diversity they are going to be in for a rude awakening when they grow up and everyone doesn't want to hug them. So yes schools and parents should try and limit bullying, but at the same time they should also be providing for the development of skills that can help those getting picked on.
It depends on the person getting teased, sometimes regardless of parent involvement. I know many people who were bullied and teased. One I know who was teased relentlessly in elementary school has zero ill effects as an adult (doesn't harbour it inside as being painful) and became quite popular in high school. Others never forget and live with that pain of being bullied the rest of their lives and even develop mental health issues over it. A sad side of this, and I've found this typical, is that the bully often forgets their behavior as they grow up. Some completely forgetting, while the bullied lives with it and NEVER forgets.

I'd like to know what coping skills you suggest?

And teachers need to be proactive if they see something, teachers are people, and some people are just afraid of confrontation. Or they have a lack of regard, their human. And not all teachers or administrators are good at what they do. It'sike the videos we see of a man falling down in the street having a heart attack. Everybody just keeps walking, just looking. And we're shocked at this. Well, how many school officials do the same thing? Like, I said. Their human.

Someone tell me different. In all my life, I've only seen two ways to stop a bully. Remove them from the school setting, or bust them in the nose.
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Old 03-18-2010, 01:08 PM
 
1,442 posts, read 2,489,826 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BLUEDIAMOND64 View Post
As a former educator, my experience has been that the child that bullies is usually lacking something at home, and that becomes visible when you meet the parent. All schools should have zero tolerance for bullying.
No doubt about it.
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Old 03-19-2010, 09:54 AM
 
4,044 posts, read 6,206,484 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CA central coast View Post
In all my life, I've only seen two ways to stop a bully. Remove them from the school setting, or bust them in the nose.
I would do the second, then the first - in this order.
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Old 03-19-2010, 11:07 AM
 
854 posts, read 3,347,515 times
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School's need to take reports of bullying more seriously, and help educate students, parents, and teachers on how to recognize different types of bullying. In my son's experience dealing with bullying, the bully was sneaky and not physical. It took 4 years for the school to take us seriously and deal with the problem.

Schools also need to provide a way for students to be able to report the bullying without it making themselves more of a target.

Also, it may be true that bullies have situations at home that make them or contribute to their bullying, however, often other kids follow the bully, and I am sure not all of those kids have home life reasons, they are just influenced, or afraid, of the bully.
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Old 03-19-2010, 11:33 AM
 
1,897 posts, read 2,938,432 times
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i'm a big fan of teaching kids how to handle it themselves. there's not much parents and school teachers can do if they aren't there to witness the problem.

if you are getting bullied, stand up for yourself. even if you catch a butt whooping, it's not fun for the bully if you aren't scared.
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Old 03-19-2010, 11:41 AM
 
854 posts, read 3,347,515 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rugerjitsu View Post
i'm a big fan of teaching kids how to handle it themselves. there's not much parents and school teachers can do if they aren't there to witness the problem.

if you are getting bullied, stand up for yourself. even if you catch a butt whooping, it's not fun for the bully if you aren't scared.
That can work when the bullying is physical, however, when bullying is not physical, fighting back can backfire.

In my son's case, he started to protect himself physically, until he realized that the bully was trying to get it to look like my son was the bully, so my son stopped, and we had to go through the school (lots of kids were joining in, and it had been going on for years).
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Old 03-19-2010, 12:47 PM
 
1,442 posts, read 2,489,826 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reneeme View Post
School's need to take reports of bullying more seriously, and help educate students, parents, and teachers on how to recognize different types of bullying. In my son's experience dealing with bullying, the bully was sneaky and not physical. It took 4 years for the school to take us seriously and deal with the problem.

Schools also need to provide a way for students to be able to report the bullying without it making themselves more of a target.

Also, it may be true that bullies have situations at home that make them or contribute to their bullying, however, often other kids follow the bully, and I am sure not all of those kids have home life reasons, they are just influenced, or afraid, of the bully.
What did you want the school/district to do about it? LOL. The public school system is legally obligated to house and "educate" every single youth under the arbitrarily set "drop-out" age. Ifr the parents of the bully do nothing or not enough to stop the bully, he/she will continue to do as they please. That's the inherent flaw in the law of having zero wiggle room with defiant, disruptive kids. Until there is a legal loophole or alternative to the present status of having to have all kids in school somewhere-no matter how chronically defiant or even criminal the behavior is-, a certain percentage of schools are always going to have to sit back and absorb unruly behavior such as bullying. This is because there will always be a certain percentage of kids that come from home environments where such behavior is tolerated.
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