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My kindergartner was being bullied on the playground by a group of girls. I went to the teacher right away after my daughter told me about it. The teacher said she would have the school counsellor talk to the children. The second time the teacher admitted she saw it happen on the playground herself. When I approached the teacher she told me that it gets better next year. She told me that if I can think up something to let her know. (did she just punt this to next year's teacher to deal with?)
So, it happened twice that I know. Now, my daughter is telling me that the old bully (who has been acting nice to my daughter now) is best buddies with the room parents' daughter. Now, these two girls save spots and seats and always end up being first wherever the class goes. I've seen it the few times I've been in and to the classroom. My daughter has been bothered by this and I know an adult ought to be addressing this issue.
What's the best route to take to break up the strong hold these girls seem to have over the class and teacher? Any input would be appreciated.
I would approach the ass't principal with the concern or the next highest up after the teacher. You tried to deal with this correctly, hoping the teacher would address. She is showing that she will not. Your child is being impacted by this, I would do this first thing on Monday. Go into the school with your child, drop off the child, and head to the office and set up the meeting. Hopefully it can happen later that day!!
Yes, it is later in the school year, but I would still act immediately on this. Also try not to act too pissed around your daughter, as I know I would be . I would just let her know that mom is going to look into this. You don't want her to get too upset.
What exactly are the bullies doing? When you say the teacher admitted she saw it, did she indicate she felt it was bullying or did she just state that she saw whatever was happening that you have identified as bullying? You mentioned the teacher asked for your input. What ideas did you have for dealing with this issue? It's hard to give advice without knowing the specific situation - that's why I am asking... For example, younger kids sometimes call it bullying when a kid or group of kids doesn't want to play with them. This in itself is not bullying, but depending on what else is involved it could devolve into a bullying situation.
You say the girls are always first - are there possibly class jobs that rotate and they are line leaders or other positions in front of line (door holder, lights person, etc.)? Have you talked to other parents of students in the class and, if so, are their children experiencing bullying as well? Since you say the two girls have a stronghold on the class, the reports of bullying should be widespread.
Did you talk to the school counselor - did she talk with just the girls in question or with the class as a whole? Perhaps a guidance lesson for the entire class on bullying is in order and that does fall within the counselor's role.
My kindergartner was being bullied on the playground by a group of girls. I went to the teacher right away after my daughter told me about it. The teacher said she would have the school counsellor talk to the children. The second time the teacher admitted she saw it happen on the playground herself. When I approached the teacher she told me that it gets better next year. She told me that if I can think up something to let her know. (did she just punt this to next year's teacher to deal with?)
So, it happened twice that I know. Now, my daughter is telling me that the old bully (who has been acting nice to my daughter now) is best buddies with the room parents' daughter. Now, these two girls save spots and seats and always end up being first wherever the class goes. I've seen it the few times I've been in and to the classroom. My daughter has been bothered by this and I know an adult ought to be addressing this issue.
What's the best route to take to break up the strong hold these girls seem to have over the class and teacher? Any input would be appreciated.
Be extremely aggressive with the teacher, principal, supervisory staff and the PTA. If nothing is done about it, get the hell out.
What exactly are the bullies doing? When you say the teacher admitted she saw it, did she indicate she felt it was bullying or did she just state that she saw whatever was happening that you have identified as bullying? You mentioned the teacher asked for your input. What ideas did you have for dealing with this issue? It's hard to give advice without knowing the specific situation - that's why I am asking... For example, younger kids sometimes call it bullying when a kid or group of kids doesn't want to play with them. This in itself is not bullying, but depending on what else is involved it could devolve into a bullying situation.
You say the girls are always first - are there possibly class jobs that rotate and they are line leaders or other positions in front of line (door holder, lights person, etc.)? Have you talked to other parents of students in the class and, if so, are their children experiencing bullying as well? Since you say the two girls have a stronghold on the class, the reports of bullying should be widespread.
Did you talk to the school counselor - did she talk with just the girls in question or with the class as a whole? Perhaps a guidance lesson for the entire class on bullying is in order and that does fall within the counselor's role.
Good questions to ask. And if you go to see the AP, be sure to let them know that you did talk to the teacher first.
I'd go talk with the school counselor. I know it's tempting but don't go in with guns blazing, because they'll just get annoyed. Save that for if they still don't listen a third time.
What exactly are the bullies doing? The first instance was that girls were chasing down my daughter on the playground and taking turns grabbing her. It was not fun for my daughter and she came home distraught. This same bunch created a club and refused to let my daughter in it, but also refused to let her walk on half of the playground. They said it was their club area. When you say the teacher admitted she saw it, did she indicate she felt it was bullying or did she just state that she saw whatever was happening that you have identified as bullying? She said she saw the girls doing their this is our club, we don't want you in it. You mentioned the teacher asked for your input. What ideas did you have for dealing with this issue? I didn't have any to offer. I told her I'd like to think about it. Honestly, I was put off by this part. I wouldn't think of asking my customer how they want me to fix their graphic outline I made. It's hard to give advice without knowing the specific situation - that's why I am asking... For example, younger kids sometimes call it bullying when a kid or group of kids doesn't want to play with them. This in itself is not bullying, but depending on what else is involved it could devolve into a bullying situation.
You say the girls are always first - are there possibly class jobs that rotate and they are line leaders or other positions in front of line (door holder, lights person, etc.)? There are jobs that rotate, regardless, the girls are first Have you talked to other parents of students in the class and, if so, are their children experiencing bullying as well? I haven't talked to other parents about it. Many/most parents are dual working and not in the classroom to see what goes on.Since you say the two girls have a stronghold on the class, the reports of bullying should be widespread.You would think, but at this age, I tend to believe that they keep it in unless probed about their days
Did you talk to the school counselor - did she talk with just the girls in question or with the class as a whole? She spoke with just the girls.[/color] Perhaps a guidance lesson for the entire class on bullying is in order and that does fall within the counselor's role.
I like the idea of having the school counsellor talking to the whole class. I will suggest that. What bothers me is the potential that the teacher isn't doing anything because she doesn't want to tick off the room mom. Any input there?
Many times, parents and teachers want kids to handle things "on their own." I suppose that would be workable if the children are given foundations for handling things. Often, kids don't get these foundations, because the adults also think "kids will be kids." So bullying continues. For the life of me, I can't understand why teachers and administrators often don't want to get involved or they blame the victim. Earlier in the school year, a child was picking on my daughter. I brought it up with the teacher, who initially didn't want to do anything about it (the two of them sat near each other). I finally asked the teacher politely to move my child. He did, but made my daughter told me he made it seem as if it were my daughter's problem. I told her to ignore that. Problem solved.
Provide expectations, reinforce them with reminders and warnings, then provide consequences for bullying behavior. How can someone not get behind that?
Personally I wouldn't bother with the school counselor because in my experience they are completely worthless. I've never met one who knew much about anything, let alone was effective in accomplishing anything. They mostly seem to be just another paper pusher. I went to a school counselor once to report family abuse and their response was 'why don't you just talk to them about it and ask them to stop?'--what kind of answer is that!!! Sorry to any school counselors out there that aren't like that but I think they are a waste of time and resources.
I would first review the school's bullying policy and see what it says. Then I would schedule a meeting with a school administrator (principal, asst principal, student affairs director, or something along those lines).
I think the questions asked above about the situation are good things to think about. Personally I wouldn't call it bullying if some girls aren't letting your daughter be in their clique or club. That's just kids forming friendships. I wouldn't call saving seats 'bullying' either. Not wanting to be friends with someone isn't the same as bullying. I wouldn't be surprised if there is more to the 'first in line' thing than what your daughter says. Most elementary school teachers seem to have some sort of process for selecting the first in line. It may be the person who finishes an assignment first, or a randomly selected 'student of the month' or it may be alphabetical or by 'rows' of seating assignments.
Be careful, too, not to give the impression that you will run to your daughter's rescue every single time she complains about something. She's got to learn how to deal with her own challenges on her own, and to accept that sometimes the world isn't fair.
Personally I wouldn't bother with the school counselor because in my experience they are completely worthless. I've never met one who knew much about anything, let alone was effective in accomplishing anything. They mostly seem to be just another paper pusher. I went to a school counselor once to report family abuse and their response was 'why don't you just talk to them about it and ask them to stop?'--what kind of answer is that!!! Sorry to any school counselors out there that aren't like that but I think they are a waste of time and resources.
I would first review the school's bullying policy and see what it says. Then I would schedule a meeting with a school administrator (principal, asst principal, student affairs director, or something along those lines).
I think the questions asked above about the situation are good things to think about. Personally I wouldn't call it bullying if some girls aren't letting your daughter be in their clique or club. **They wouldn't let her step onto half of the playground where their club was. That part of it is disturbing**That's just kids forming friendships. I wouldn't call saving seats 'bullying' either. Not wanting to be friends with someone isn't the same as bullying. I wouldn't be surprised if there is more to the 'first in line' thing than what your daughter says. **Thing is I've seen these girls cut the line alot. I'm at school for pick up and drop off and sometimes lunch. I see it happen myself**Most elementary school teachers seem to have some sort of process for selecting the first in line. It may be the person who finishes an assignment first, or a randomly selected 'student of the month' or it may be alphabetical or by 'rows' of seating assignments.
Be careful, too, not to give the impression that you will run to your daughter's rescue every single time she complains about something. She's got to learn how to deal with her own challenges on her own, and to accept that sometimes the world isn't fair.
**I'm leery of this idea at the age of 5. I don't think children this young know how to handle social situations and need adult instruction and support to navigate these exact types of situations.**
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. I would just let her know that mom is going to look into this. You don't want her to get too upset.
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