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Old 03-29-2010, 08:07 PM
 
Location: In the north country fair
5,010 posts, read 10,687,874 times
Reputation: 7866

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Quote:
Originally Posted by sailordave View Post
I was with you until the lines in bold. Competitiveness has nothing to do with bullying. The behavior you speak of is primal going back to ancient times. To be competitive will bring out the best in a person in sports and in academics. However; parents, teachers, coaches, and pro-atheletes need to also teach good sportsmanship, something sorely lacking in pro-sports today. You have parents practically foaming at the mouth at their kid's ball game hoping their kid will eventually become the next big name star, these kids get the message from their parents to win at all cost, the coaches also push this message on their players (more wins for coach means more money for coach). Fighting to get up the social class status in school has always been there. But at one time parents and society taught moral values to their kids. These kids and their parents have no moral values.

Responding to the quote in red. If you hate America so much then find somewhere else to live. I won't miss you.
Whoa, back the **** up; you need to watch what you infer from someone's post. I never said that I hated this country. Nor does it mean that I should "go and live somewhere else" b/c I criticize the culture that I live in. In fact, that's the reason why I love this country and choose to live here: b/c it allows me the right to express myself, even when I don't agree with it; it also happens to be what makes this country great.

Furthermore, you're actually posting against bullying and then you come at me with a hostile and aggressive (ahem, bullying) attitude like that?! Are you kidding me?!

Lastly, I don't think that I need to remind you that personal attacks are not allowed on this forum

I believe that bullying has its roots in competitiveness, and that our country has of recently been fueling/teaching competitiveness without the ability to control onself. I actually agree with you, but given your hypocratic attitude and your own bullying, abusive nature, I'm never going to enter into a discourse with you again; you clearly did not learn the self-control about which you so eloquently spoke Perhaps you should go live somewhere else where everyone agrees all of the time, and those who don't are censored; I suggest one of the fascist or communist nations.
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Old 03-29-2010, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Cleveland
4,649 posts, read 4,970,942 times
Reputation: 6013
That's his shtick. Personal attacks against anyone who says anything that hints at deviating from the Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh view of America. It's best to ignore him.

I disagreed with your post, too, but I understand where you're coming from, and actually your post makes a lot of sense. I just don't think it jibes with reality.

But you seem to like America just fine, as far as I can tell.
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:29 PM
 
Location: In the north country fair
5,010 posts, read 10,687,874 times
Reputation: 7866
Quote:
Originally Posted by tribecavsbrowns View Post
That's his shtick. Personal attacks against anyone who says anything that hints at deviating from the Glenn Beck/Rush Limbaugh view of America. It's best to ignore him.

I disagreed with your post, too, but I understand where you're coming from, and actually your post makes a lot of sense. I just don't think it jibes with reality.

But you seem to like America just fine, as far as I can tell.
It's always nice to meet a respectful human being. Thank you for respectfully disagreeing with me without telling me that I should leave the country And your insight is refreshing; I would be interested to hear your thoughts on the matter as I think that they might provide a fresh perspective.
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Old 03-30-2010, 08:06 PM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,723,474 times
Reputation: 20852
Quote:
Originally Posted by sailordave View Post

Responding to the quote in red. If you hate America so much then find somewhere else to live. I won't miss you.
It is fundamentally PATRIOTIC to want the best for your government. If recognizing the mistakes we as a nation have made in the past in order to prevent them in the future isnt the best example of utilizing your constitutional rights what is?

I will never, ever fathom those who tell other Americans "love it or leave it" considering that the above statement is classic FASCISM.

Dissention is patriotic, how can you defend freedom and then when someone utilizes it you tell them to leave the country?
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Old 03-30-2010, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Maryland's 6th District.
8,357 posts, read 25,233,983 times
Reputation: 6541
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarlaJane View Post
I believe that bullying has its roots in competitiveness, and that our country has of recently been fueling/teaching competitiveness without the ability to control onself.
Bullying stems from insecurities, plain and simple. Kids (verbally) beat down others to make themselves look good. It is also a sign of cowardice; bullies rarely, if ever, pick on people who are stronger then they are. How often are jocks the victims of bullying? Yup, never. Why not? Because the bully knows that messing with one jock means the entire football team would be out for him. How many people in the 'A' crowd get bullied? Yup, once again, none (well, at least not to their face). Why not? Because they are too popular on campus and even the unpopular kids will come to their rescue. Bullies seek out students who have a weakness that can be be exploited, while at the same time the bully knows that there is very little chance of repercussion. Usually the bullying stops once the bullied stand up for themselves.
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Old 03-31-2010, 03:28 AM
 
Location: Somewhere on Earth
1,052 posts, read 1,647,492 times
Reputation: 712
Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Luv View Post
Usually the bullying stops once the bullied stand up for themselves.
That's mostly true

But it is very difficult for the bullied to stand up for themselves to the bully. Especially when adults around you failed to see it or address it at all.

I remembered when I was in 8th and was teased/mildly bullied during middle school and stood up for myself. When I told the counselor, get this, the bltch had the nerve to say in front of my face, to another person that "I don't understand why it takes them this long to say something". Talk about insensitive and a slap to the face. And adults wonder why the bullied don't step up and speak out

You'd think with all the current media of the tragedies revolving around bullying in schools, the schools would make it a top priority to issue out a school wide announcement stating that bullying would not be tolerated and that those being bullied could safely talk to the teachers
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Old 03-31-2010, 08:07 AM
 
5,696 posts, read 19,139,351 times
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I agree bullying comes from parents that bullied. My in-laws are a perfect case study. I have a sister in law that is gruff, leads a hard life and was a bully herself in school. My other sister n law was the opposite, she was bullied in school. So for me, its interesting to see how both sides of the equation works. The bully SIL raised two children and you guessed it, her kids were bullies. Years ago she would get angry when she was called to the school over her kids being bullies. She thought the teachers and staff were a bunch of whiners and sometimes would actually go off on them. I can only imagine what a joy she was to deal with. Talking to her got no where and I suspect over the years, the school stopped calling. She often rewarded her children with treats because in her distorted view, her children were strong. They didnt take crap from anyone. Even though my SIL is in her 50's, every now and then when childhood memories are discussed she gets a gleam in her eye when she talks about her bullying days. Her children are now grown and have children of their own. As you might have guessed their children are now bullies. None of them lead happy lives and they cant figure it out. The other SIL that was bullied raised her children well and those kids are now grown and raising kids. As you guessed, those kids are not bullies. So in a nutshell, bullies grow up with this distorted view that by picking on others shows strength. Bullying will continue because the cycle continues.
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Old 03-31-2010, 09:55 AM
 
Location: In the north country fair
5,010 posts, read 10,687,874 times
Reputation: 7866
Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Luv View Post
Bullying stems from insecurities, plain and simple. Kids (verbally) beat down others to make themselves look good. It is also a sign of cowardice; bullies rarely, if ever, pick on people who are stronger then they are. How often are jocks the victims of bullying? Yup, never. Why not? Because the bully knows that messing with one jock means the entire football team would be out for him. How many people in the 'A' crowd get bullied? Yup, once again, none (well, at least not to their face). Why not? Because they are too popular on campus and even the unpopular kids will come to their rescue. Bullies seek out students who have a weakness that can be be exploited, while at the same time the bully knows that there is very little chance of repercussion. Usually the bullying stops once the bullied stand up for themselves.
This is actually a very interesting commentary b/c it has made me realize that there isn't one type of bully.

I agree with you that insecurities are involved but I think the situation is more complex than that; it's roots are in competitiveness.

Why does a jock bully? These aren't adolescents who typically haave any reason to be insecure. And yet, a lot of bullies are such types of students.

Rather than supplying the simplified and obvious answer ("because he/she can"), I think it goes back to what I was saying about competitiveness. If you use a "jock" type as an example, I really think that insecurities are only part of the issue. With such types, there is a correlation between conformity and competitiveness, from which develop insecurities when a different perspective comes along and challenges it (in the form of another student who embodies other equally meritous qualities, perspectives, etc.).

In the case of this girl, rather than adopt the attitude that she was picked on b/c she didn't have a lot of friends and was therefore vulnerable, I think that it is more helpful to address why she didn't have a lot of friends. I don't think that it was just b/c she had just moved here; she also came from a different culture and obviously posed some kind of threat to these students, I imagine b/c she probably did not have the same perspective as they did, and that perspective was threatening b/c it challenged/competed with their own.

Suffice to say, I don't think that the issue is as simply as insecurities on the part of the bullies; there is much more going on here.
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Old 03-31-2010, 10:16 AM
 
3,322 posts, read 7,969,505 times
Reputation: 2852
People today are just far too sensitive. I was only bullied once and it was senior year in high school. After a few times of getting jerked around in front of my girlfriend, the dude that was punking shoved me. Waited for him to turn around shoved him square in the back. He was a pretty big guy 6'3 250 and I'm just 5'11 180. Told him, if you want to kick my ass then do it now or I'll just going keep shoving you back everytime you shove me. He stopped bugging me after that.

When you are a kid, you need to learn to stand up for yourself. Kids punking kids happens at the time. I see it at playgrounds, the jungle gym at the mall, etc. Its been around for a long time. Either your kid will learn how to handle it or become a pawn.

There are going to be several moments in ones life where they will need to be able to stand up in a stressful situation. Best to learn how to handle those when you are young and they don't mean as much.
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Old 03-31-2010, 10:29 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX, USA
5,142 posts, read 13,118,398 times
Reputation: 2515
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dub D View Post
People today are just far too sensitive. I was only bullied once and it was senior year in high school. After a few times of getting jerked around in front of my girlfriend, the dude that was punking shoved me. Waited for him to turn around shoved him square in the back. He was a pretty big guy 6'3 250 and I'm just 5'11 180. Told him, if you want to kick my ass then do it now or I'll just going keep shoving you back everytime you shove me. He stopped bugging me after that.

When you are a kid, you need to learn to stand up for yourself. Kids punking kids happens at the time. I see it at playgrounds, the jungle gym at the mall, etc. Its been around for a long time. Either your kid will learn how to handle it or become a pawn.

There are going to be several moments in ones life where they will need to be able to stand up in a stressful situation. Best to learn how to handle those when you are young and they don't mean as much.
The difference with your story is that it was one individual. For the young woman, it was a group of students so the odds are not in her favor to defend herself fairly.
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