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Old 03-29-2010, 04:29 PM
 
804 posts, read 1,212,153 times
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I have zero sympathy for parents who say that extreme bullying is "just part of growing up". It's no excuse for poor parenting, and that includes the "oversight" of lead poisoning, which is common in the area and has long been proven to cause aggressive behavior in both children and adults.

9 charged with bullying Mass. teen who killed self - Yahoo! News

It infuriates me to hear adults make excuses for this. What goes around comes around and all this "tough, tough, tough" will catch up eventually. It's no wonder there is so much nursing home abuse (and crime in general), our youth will never respect elders who propagate this sociopathic behavior. I certainly don't.
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Old 03-29-2010, 04:33 PM
 
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They defend it because the parents are unethical bullies themselves. They probably pick on their kids and teach them how to lie and jerk people around. That is where the kids learn it. Pretty obvious.

The only good defense of bullying is when the victim feels discriminated against and starts to fight back with equal tactics. It is hard to rise above and "love thy neighbor" when the culture teaches you to fight back in an anarchistic society. However, they also teach you if you fight back that you will be arrested or placed in prison or a harassment investigation will be opened on you. People refuse to see those double binding and insidious circumstances. And the bullying culture continues to destroy education and workplaces.
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Old 03-29-2010, 04:34 PM
 
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The parents who defend their kids when they become bullies , were bullies themselves when young and enjoy re-living their childhood thru their kids.

The acorn never falls far from the tree.
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Old 03-29-2010, 04:36 PM
 
25,169 posts, read 34,398,254 times
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I don't have a problem with the victim bullying the bully back. Fight fair

Quote:
Originally Posted by marmac View Post
The parents who defend their kids when they become bullies , were bullies themselves when young and enjoy re-living their childhood thru their kids.

The acorn never falls far from the tree.
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Old 03-29-2010, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, Louisiana
14,097 posts, read 14,432,760 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I don't have a problem with the victim bullying the bully back. Fight fair
Today's kids don't fight fair. Groups of kids bully one student. If that one student dares to fight back, he now has to fight the entire group of students. In the above suicide case, the bullies weren't satisfied with bullying her while she was alive. They also went to the memorial webpage to continue with their attacks. They knew they drove her to kill herself and had no remorse. Put them in general prison population and tell the prison guards to take the day off.
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Old 03-29-2010, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,456 posts, read 4,926,821 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sailordave View Post
Today's kids don't fight fair. Groups of kids bully one student. If that one student dares to fight back, he now has to fight the entire group of students. In the above suicide case, the bullies weren't satisfied with bullying her while she was alive. They also went to the memorial webpage to continue with their attacks. They knew they drove her to kill herself and had no remorse. Put them in general prison population and tell the prison guards to take the day off.
Kids bully other kids b/c there are no consequences for their actions, and in bullying another student, they get what they want (to get rid of someone, for whatever reason) and feel powerful. Even more frightening, this is just practice for these kids until they become ruthlessly competitive adults.

Parents who are unsympathetic to bullied children are unsympathetic b/c either their children are the ones involved (and they don't want to see them punished) or are insensitive b/c their own children are not the victims; many people are able to react insensitively to an issue b/c it doesn't involve them.

Also, the U.S. in general still seems to allow bullying b/c it fosters competitiveness, the hallmark of any good capitalist society: the strong survive while the weak perish, and this makes the society stronger and more productive (i.e. "survival of the fittest"). I mean, just look at our history; the U.S. has enriched itself through the same unapologetic, remorseless attitude for centuries. And now we are seeing what happens when such behavior is not checked. This poor girl's death is only one of thousands of examples in this nation in which ruthless individuals are rewarded and/or not punished for their irresponsible behavior. And, sadly, there are many parents who view competitive, bullying kids as future "winners" and leaders.
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Old 03-29-2010, 07:24 PM
 
27,925 posts, read 22,141,526 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nomore07 View Post
I have zero sympathy for parents who say that extreme bullying is "just part of growing up". It's no excuse for poor parenting, and that includes the "oversight" of lead poisoning, which is common in the area and has long been proven to cause aggressive behavior in both children and adults.

9 charged with bullying Mass. teen who killed self - Yahoo! News

It infuriates me to hear adults make excuses for this. What goes around comes around and all this "tough, tough, tough" will catch up eventually. It's no wonder there is so much nursing home abuse (and crime in general), our youth will never respect elders who propagate this sociopathic behavior. I certainly don't.
I hate this. These adults probably learned it from their parents, but I don't buy that tired old excuse for bad behavior. If you were mistreated by your parents (or another adult) isn't there a point where you say, "I am going to be different?"

It also seems to me that adult bullies or bully-approvers are the people least likely to perform any sort of self-examination of their own behavior and personalities in order to grow into better people. They are the ones who feel that everyone is out to get them, so they're gonna get "them" first, whomever the "them" may turn out to be.
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Old 03-29-2010, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Lafayette, Louisiana
14,097 posts, read 14,432,760 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StarlaJane View Post
Kids bully other kids b/c there are no consequences for their actions, and in bullying another student, they get what they want (to get rid of someone, for whatever reason) and feel powerful. Even more frightening, this is just practice for these kids until they become ruthlessly competitive adults.

Parents who are unsympathetic to bullied children are unsympathetic b/c either their children are the ones involved (and they don't want to see them punished) or are insensitive b/c their own children are not the victims; many people are able to react insensitively to an issue b/c it doesn't involve them.

Also, the U.S. in general still seems to allow bullying b/c it fosters competitiveness, the hallmark of any good capitalist society: the strong survive while the weak perish, and this makes the society stronger and more productive (i.e. "survival of the fittest"). I mean, just look at our history; the U.S. has enriched itself through the same unapologetic, remorseless attitude for centuries. And now we are seeing what happens when such behavior is not checked. This poor girl's death is only one of thousands of examples in this nation in which ruthless individuals are rewarded and/or not punished for their irresponsible behavior. And, sadly, there are many parents who view competitive, bullying kids as future "winners" and leaders.
I was with you until the lines in bold. Competitiveness has nothing to do with bullying. The behavior you speak of is primal going back to ancient times. To be competitive will bring out the best in a person in sports and in academics. However; parents, teachers, coaches, and pro-atheletes need to also teach good sportsmanship, something sorely lacking in pro-sports today. You have parents practically foaming at the mouth at their kid's ball game hoping their kid will eventually become the next big name star, these kids get the message from their parents to win at all cost, the coaches also push this message on their players (more wins for coach means more money for coach). Fighting to get up the social class status in school has always been there. But at one time parents and society taught moral values to their kids. These kids and their parents have no moral values.

Responding to the quote in red. If you hate America so much then find somewhere else to live. I won't miss you.
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Old 03-29-2010, 07:25 PM
 
27,925 posts, read 22,141,526 times
Reputation: 25680
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarlaJane View Post
Kids bully other kids b/c there are no consequences for their actions, and in bullying another student, they get what they want (to get rid of someone, for whatever reason) and feel powerful. Even more frightening, this is just practice for these kids until they become ruthlessly competitive adults.

Parents who are unsympathetic to bullied children are unsympathetic b/c either their children are the ones involved (and they don't want to see them punished) or are insensitive b/c their own children are not the victims; many people are able to react insensitively to an issue b/c it doesn't involve them.

Also, the U.S. in general still seems to allow bullying b/c it fosters competitiveness, the hallmark of any good capitalist society: the strong survive while the weak perish, and this makes the society stronger and more productive (i.e. "survival of the fittest"). I mean, just look at our history; the U.S. has enriched itself through the same unapologetic, remorseless attitude for centuries. And now we are seeing what happens when such behavior is not checked. This poor girl's death is only one of thousands of examples in this nation in which ruthless individuals are rewarded and/or not punished for their irresponsible behavior. And, sadly, there are many parents who view competitive, bullying kids as future "winners" and leaders.
Can't rep you again yet, but this was a good post. Well said.
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Old 03-29-2010, 09:05 PM
 
Location: Chicago
1,921 posts, read 2,022,105 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StarlaJane View Post
Also, the U.S. in general still seems to allow bullying b/c it fosters competitiveness, the hallmark of any good capitalist society: the strong survive while the weak perish, and this makes the society stronger and more productive (i.e. "survival of the fittest").
I don't believe this for a second. I think intolerance of bullying is directly correlated with affluence, and the U.S. is the most affluent country in the world, so...

Affluent parents try to make life easy for their kids, and that includes stepping in (too often, in my opinion) when they're getting pushed around at school. In poorer countries, you don't see things like "peer mediation" in schools and lawsuits against bullies' families. You do in the U.S.

The U.S. is a competitive society, but that generally manifests itself in school in sports and clubs, not schoolyard brawls. The schools that have schoolyard brawls are the inner-city schools, and those schools aren't competitive in much of anything -- "barbaric" would be a better word.

I'm not defending bullying. Bullying is bullying -- overcompensating for self-hatred by pretending to be above someone else, usually someone weak and defenseless. But I would hate for people to think this is an American problem, and one that would just go away if we would just all stop being so dang competitive.
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