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Do you have anything to actually support this or is that just your opinion?
In my family my half siblings all spoke filipino (that what the other half is) with their mom and english with our dad. It is no more forcing than making a child do their homework or practice the piano all of which has been shown in research to encourage both discipline and a good work ethic.
Would you say forcing a child to do their homework is abuse? My friends child needs regular injections which she has to be forced to take, is that abuse?
And before you go all apples and oranges again, we are talking about things that are for the child's benefit both homework and a second language clearly fall into that category.
How exactly do you force a child to do his/her homework? Moreover, if you are having to "force" them to do it, I think that it is probably indicative of a greater problem that is being overlooked.
And yes, I do think that forcing a child to play the piano can be detrimental. Childrens' own interests should be encouraged rather than those of the parent. I think that parents do a great disservice to their children when they do not encourage the child's interests and force what they think is best upon them. But, it all depends on what kind of child you want. If you want a child who is very successful with absolutely no sense of self, then force away.
To answer the OP, I don't think it's any of what you said. However, I have heard of an instance where foreigner parents here in the States seemingly refused to let their child learn English--now THAT'S stupid.
Oh my Go! Abuse? How many parent have not demanded their children do something at home because that is how parents learned how to do, believe, etc?
What is the difference with a language?
Also, now were talking about psychological effects about demanding a child speak another language?
How about the parents that may do some demanding a child practice a certain sport, demand high grades in school, eat certain food, etc?
How many great athletes, writers, engineers, etc. say they are grateful their parents were stern on their studies and demanded high standards on whatever they do and even give credit to on the height they achieve such as gold medals in the olympics, as surgeons, engineers, etc.? Like John Stossel says "Give me a break"!
Sure, as children I as pretty much most of us had to comply with some demands at the time we did not enjoy. Are we all traumatized? At least I do not feel that way. The more we make our children like some little defenseless kids that will be all traumatized the rest of their live because they has to eat their vegetables or speak another language, the more they have shown they push the button to get away with the things they want.
That reminds a book where I read how parents are now giving up their authority to Johnny by always asking "Johnny, what do you want to eat? OK, I will do that for you? You do not want to speak Spanish? Do not worry, you do not have to. Do not want to have a nice and neat looking homework? OK, just turn in the sloppy and messy one you did, after all it is correct?"
My wife demanded our kids re-do the homework if it looked messy so many times and our girls often did so grudgingly. Now they are grateful we demanded quality and instilled good study habits and professionalism in all they do.
By the way they all are happy we demanded they speak Spanish at home. Now that they are adults we all speak English with each other. No big deal and now they all speak two languages. One even speaks German after she decided to stay in Germany when I got my Army orders to come back to the states.
I don't think "forcing" the kid to speak a specific language at home is the way to go about it, you can simply "coax" them "Mozhna eta skazat na Russkom?" for example.
Don't forget the Tom Sawyer effect - anything you *require* the kid to do is by definition a chore and so it's bad. By that I mean the kid perceives it as something bad. At least I did. I mean, if it wasn't bad, you wouldn't be twisting my arm to do it/eat it/whatever, right?
One should be smart enough and diplomatic enough to get the kid to speak the target language without resorting to crude threats - which are after all the underlying premise of any "requirement". (Pardon, my libertarian streak is showing...)
*BUT* I would say on the contrary to the original premise, having native foreign language speakers in the house and *NOT* teaching the kid, while they are in that golden pre-school language "upload" window, would be the abuse, not pushing them to learn it.
I would have liked to get my Russian for free when I was a kid, instead of paying dearly with 15+ years of study to get to where I am, which is good but not as good as if I had started at 4 or 5.
How exactly do you force a child to do his/her homework? Moreover, if you are having to "force" them to do it, I think that it is probably indicative of a greater problem that is being overlooked.
And yes, I do think that forcing a child to play the piano can be detrimental. Childrens' own interests should be encouraged rather than those of the parent. I think that parents do a great disservice to their children when they do not encourage the child's interests and force what they think is best upon them. But, it all depends on what kind of child you want. If you want a child who is very successful with absolutely no sense of self, then force away.
Your links title acknowledges the VERY real benefits of bilingual children and did not in any way say it was ABUSE.
So you have NOTHING to show that it is abuse accept your very bizarre opinions.
Next, children's minds are not developed the same way as adult minds and they cannot see consequence for their actions until abstract reasoning develops, sometime in the early to mid-teens. That means that they cannot truly understand the rewards for hard work or the negative consequences of bad choices. Part of parenting is making those choices for children since they are INCAPABLE of it themselves.
A large part of the development of "self" image is the ability to complete a task and learn a skill. Your suggesting that the only thing that guide what they want do is what they WANT to do is much more damaging in the long run. How better to set a child up not only for failure, but to see themselves as a failure, than to let them quit something everytime it does not become fun.
Children are not adults, treating them as such is much more akin to abuse than showing them that working hard can make them succeed in areas they would not otherwise.
I completely disagree. I think "forcing" children to speak another lang in the home is abusive, the same way that punishing students for speaking a second lang at school used to be punished and was considered abusive. A child should be able to speak whatever lang he/she feels comfortable with (especially in the home), and should be encouraged to speak a second lang, not forced.
It could be because the parents, who don't speak English, don't understand them that they want them to speak their language. I'm told my dad's parents didn't speak English and he didn't speak Italian. He had much older brothers and sisters that translated. I can't imagine your parents not speaking directly to you.
It could be because the parents, who don't speak English, don't understand them that they want them to speak their language. I'm told my dad's parents didn't speak English and he didn't speak Italian. He had much older brothers and sisters that translated. I can't imagine your parents not speaking directly to you.
when you refuse to speak the language of your ancestry---you lose the entire culture---it happened in my family---how sad!
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