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How would you feel if your child got the Reserve Grand Champion at the junior high level in the county science fair, had his picture in the paper, and no mention was ever made of it in his school? How about, how would you feel if his dad was told that his son would no longer be receiving any more science fair awards, even an honorable mention in the district science fairs because he had won too much, and because people were beginning to think that the father did the project for the son?
Well.... the last was not true. And to prove it, the son is now very close to his PhD in nuclear physics, and unlike most PhD students whose first published paper in a major peer reviewed journal IS THEIR DISSERTATION, the son has 24 scientific papers in his field in journals in the USA and Europe, and 4 of them have his name first, with really famous physicists as 2nd and third authors.
How would you feel if your child got the Reserve Grand Champion at the junior high level in the county science fair, had his picture in the paper, and no mention was ever made of it in his school? How about, how would you feel if his dad was told that his son would no longer be receiving any more science fair awards, even an honorable mention in the district science fairs because he had won too much, and because people were beginning to think that the father did the project for the son?
Well.... the last was not true. And to prove it, the son is now very close to his PhD in nuclear physics, and unlike most PhD students whose first published paper in a major peer reviewed journal IS THEIR DISSERTATION, the son has 24 scientific papers in his field in journals in the USA and Europe, and 4 of them have his name first, with really famous physicists as 2nd and third authors.
It is what it is.
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The problem is that our system is now geared to rewarding mediocrity in the name of "self-esteem". Despite what most parents think, mostly their kids are average. We should be rewarding the very best and only the very best.
The problem is that our system is now geared to rewarding mediocrity in the name of "self-esteem". Despite what most parents think, mostly their kids are average. We should be rewarding the very best and only the very best.
Its a catch 22. What we should be doing is finding that skill or ability that every child has and rewarding that. Of course that might be then described as behavioral engineering, and we'll have none of that, so you please!!
Of course if we are locked in by federal regs to only be focused on reading and Math, we may have some real difficulties dealing with Gardner's and others perceptions of multiple intelligences, and rewarding everyone according to their own abilities. PA also tests for Science and Writing, so my one kid excelled in math and science, and the other one in writing(got a 780 on the specific sub test of the GRE's that was for WRITING skills). So mine would have been OK. But many many children would not get any awards ever.
I think that's sad. While I am not at all in favor of giving out empty rewards (and have even turned them down for my own kids) it is cruel to exclude one or two students when all of the others are getting something.
As a parent of an excluded child I would have our own awards ceremony recognizing legitimate accomplishments made by my kids that year. It might include some sort of small token gift (a book mark, pencils, stickers, etc.) and a trip to the ice cream parlor.
There are way too many awards given out in schools. So much so that by the time they get to high school, where awards are actaully given doing something exceptional, kids and parents alike are bored with it all. When our youngest was a senior we had to force him to go to his awards/robing ceremony. Probably half of his senior class didn't bother to go. Then as soon as each group of students and their parents or whomever was robing them left the stage, they all just walked right out the back door and to their cars. By the time they go to the last group on students there was hardly anyone left in the audience.
Even at the high school level though its just ridiculous. At the school my kids graduated from every kid with an unweighted GPA of 4.0 (straight A's whether in college level biology or PE and wood shop) are all valedictorians, if you made one B in high school you are a saludatorian. What? That's just stupid!
Awards and such need to be scaled way back. This nonsense of there are no loosers, everyone wins a trophy needs to stop. When our oldest was little and started playing soccer nobody explained to DH and I that they didn't keep score. At the first game, after his team scored its 3rd or 4th goal, DH looks over at the dad next to him and says "is that our 3rd or 4th point? Who's keeping score?" We were quickly jumped upon by several other parents and informed that "there are no loosers, we don't keep score." They acted like we were going to throw the loosers to the lions or something. Of course the first thing my son asked when he got in the car afterwards was "did we win Dad?" DH's response was "yeah, you guys kicked their butts!" From then on, DH and I kept score for ourselves. They didn't kick much butt from then on, and after every game, my son would ask and we would tell him if they won or lost. But at the end of the season, he got his trophy just like they had won every game. So, the next year, when our younger son wanted to play, we signed him up. He hated it, and complained at every practice and game, but we made him go. He was so angry at the end of the season he was furious because instead of giving trophys, they just gave out ribbons. The league had grown so much that they just couldn't afford trophys for the kids so everyone just got ribbons. The next year I asked him if he wanted to play again and he told me he hated soccer, and the only reason he ever played was that he wanted a trophy and if they weren't giving them anymore, he wasn't playing anymore. Good, saves me time and money.
However, all that said, and back to the original post, what happened to those kids was cruel and uncalled for.
Its a catch 22. What we should be doing is finding that skill or ability that every child has and rewarding that. Of course that might be then described as behavioral engineering, and we'll have none of that, so you please!!
Of course if we are locked in by federal regs to only be focused on reading and Math, we may have some real difficulties dealing with Gardner's and others perceptions of multiple intelligences, and rewarding everyone according to their own abilities. PA also tests for Science and Writing, so my one kid excelled in math and science, and the other one in writing(got a 780 on the specific sub test of the GRE's that was for WRITING skills). So mine would have been OK. But many many children would not get any awards ever.
You know what, that is okay. Why? Because in real life you don't get awards either. In the company I work for we have a real problem with kids coming out of college and expecting to be superstars because that is what they have grown up with and been told to expect. Educators and parents set so many kids up for disappointment when they hit the real world.
The two kids in the OP have been treated cruelly. But, who knows, they could end up being more successful than the rest because their expectations have been level-set early.
That said, I agree with you regarding multiple intelligences. My eldest just happens to be a natural at languages. A terrible student who never got an award and literally scraped through college with very average grades. But he speaks 5 languages and that just got him a promotion, a raise and a more interesting job where he works.
How would you feel if your childs school held their Academic/Sports Awards program and two students (brothers) were excluded from any type of award? This happened at our school and these kids are humiliated beyond belief. Neither one is athletic, sports oriented, gifted ect....I do know that one of the boys has gone three years being the ONLY one in the class to not receive an award. Would you "find" some type of award or continue to exclude him in front of the entire elementary student body? Or do you agree with some parents that awards are earned and therefore "empty" awards should not be given? I feel for these kids and their parents show up every year to show support only to watch their childrens humiliation.
This is so weird. What types of rewards are the other kids receiving? I don't know how many kids you are talking about, but if ALL the kids get a reward except for two, it HAD to be a real reach for them to come up with a reason to reward so many students. They should either REACH a little further to include these two boys, or make the rewards more specific so that only a few receive them.
My oldest is 28 and my youngest is 7 and in all the years I've had kids in school I have seen where a select few get awards or everyone get awards.
However, never have I seen one child be the only one to be left out, so it's sooo hard to even imagine it.
My first thought was there has to be a reason, even if it's an unfair reason. I just can't imagine the school singling out a child like that to be left out without some sort of reason behind it.
My second thought was how my oldest daughter is a teacher and had a student last year who could not participate in the receiving of any type gift or recognition, per family's beliefs and instructions. So this child would have been left out of any end of school awards if the school gave them. They don't do that type of recognition.
My son's elementary does a nice job of recognition after each grading period in my opinion. In an assembly they call out the names of students on A honor roll, A/B honor roll, Excellence in conduct and perfect attendance. They stand and get applause from the parents.
After that is done, one student from each class is announced as the Character Kid who has been chosen by his/her classmates as best showing the positive character trait they have been focusing on for the last period. Respect, kindness, citizenship and responsibility are the ones that come to mind for this year.
At the end of the year, the 4th and 5th grades hand out a certificate to the student who has the highest grade in each subject for the class and one for the highest in the whole grade level. They also give a certificate to the A and A/B honor roll and perfect attendance students.
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