My Fellow Americans: (NAFTA, Congress, Iraq, security)

[Miborn]

Got this in an e-mail and I thought I'd pass it along!


Wouldn't it Be Great!
TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the liberation of Iraq has just about been completed.
Our mission in Iraq is almost complete.
This morning I gave the order for a beginning of removal of American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 365 days.
It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists.
One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict.
This list is short. The United Kingdom, Australia, Poland, and Bulgaria are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list.
Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

THEN EVERY YEAR THEREAFTER, IT WILL GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WON'T GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France or Germany.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations:
Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades.

We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mess amiss.

I have instructed the mayor of New York City to begin towing the many United Nations diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded, and crushed.

I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this.
You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets.
Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York!

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. The Mexican President and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around.

Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come.

If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and movethere. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America.
It is time to eliminate homelessness in America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought:
Thank you guys.
We owe you, and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.
.................................................. .......
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
Let's get this to every USA computer!

[jdiddy]

I remember seeing that email a few years ago.

Pride cometh before the fall?