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Can you imagine if the two stars from the movie "Predator" were to get elected? Arnold Swartenhagger as President and Jesse Ventura as Vice President. How cool would that be?
Newt or Michael Savage, both are smart and both kick liberals butts big time!
Newt 2012
Good God. Mike Savage? The day Mike Wiener becomes our prez is the day I make the permanent move to my vacation home in the slums of Montevideo.
I say Morgan Freeman. I mean hey, he was pretty good as God, right? Plus he was the President in Deep Impact, and if he can help our nation survive a meteor, a housing slump shouldn't be a big deal.
Round One:
One day, Chuck Norris decides that he's going to stop terrorism. He sends letters to everyone who has ever used terror tactics, from the Al-Qaeda to that kid who threatens people with his hunting knife at school. He tells them to meet him on top of one of the glaciers at Glacier National Park, where they will settle the score. This is not an invitation; it is an order. The recipients of these letters all follow the orders to the letter, because they don't want to get on Chuck Norris's bad side. Once everyone has gathered, Chuck Norris takes a martial art stance and gives them the slight wave that is the universal sign of, "Come get some."
A massive fight breaks out as terrorists, ninjas, car bombers, dictators, space pirates, and one bizarrely carnivorous African elephant rush Chuck Norris. They don't do that pansy one fighter at a time stuff; they all attack him at once. As such, they all die more or less together. Moving his mighty legs at near light speed, Chuck roundhouse kicks each and every fighter, killing them almost instantly. The stain of blood dies the glacier an ugly red. Chuck gives the blood stain an angry look, and in doing so strikes inexplicable terror into the nonsentient puddle of blood. The blood reverses its flow, going back into the large mound of dead corpses to hide. Round One goes to Chuck Norris.
Round Two:
Chuck gathers up the hundreds of dead bodies, rolling them into one gigantic ball. With his keen vision, he scans the skies and notices an asteroid that is on a collision course with Earth. He then hefts the globe-shaped ball of terrorist corpses and shot-puts it into space. The well-placed toss collides with the asteroid, shattering it into a million pieces. The ball of corpses, now freezing in the nothingness of space, ricochets off the asteroid debris and drifts into the sun, where the remains of all perpetrators of terrorism are incinerated. Round Two goes to Chuck Norris, who saves the world at least ten times before he gets out of bed in the morning.
Round Three:
With every single terrorist in the world killed by a roundhouse kick and hurled into the sun, Chuck decides that there's only one thing left to do in order to defeat terrorism once and for all: he has to eliminate the word terrorism from the English language. He gathers up every dictionary, encyclopedia, and reference tool in the world, stacks them up high, and then obliterates them with one mighty karate chop. He then goes home and writes a letter to Webster's instructing them on how to assemble their new dictionary, including the omission of the word terrorism as well as updated references for wrecking crew, karate, roundhouse kick, and Walker, Texas Ranger. Round Three and the fight go to Chuck Norris...as if there could have been any other outcome.
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