Single Life in Eugene? (neighborhood, buying, school)

[dl1025]

My company has a position I may be eligible for in the area.

I am a divorced 33 year old male. From reading these forums I was wondering, what is life in Eugene like for single people in their late 20's and 30s? From these forums it sounds like more of a college town.

[skypros]

i haven't had any luck ;(

[haggardhouseelf]

The PNW is a weird place socially. I'm married, but even for me, trying to get beyond the acquaintance phase of a relationship with people is hard. I meet lots of people, but they seem busy and distracted by their own lives - work, kids, school, hobbies, whatever - and they don't seem to want to get together too much. When they do, it seems like it's mostly drinking they want to do, and we don't drink like that. We have a glass of wine or a beer on occassion, but we don't drink to get drunk or drink to party.

I meet people while volunteering or out and about running errands or at the bookstore or library. People are very nice and talkative here, and you can carry on some interesting conversations with total strangers at the right moment, relaxing in a coffee shop or waiting for your food or whatever... but it's really hard to get beyond that.

I'm a transplant here, and we also lived in CA and WA each for one year. In TX, where I'm from, things are way different. You get close with people real quick, and your neighbors become like family.

Here, your neighbors are very respectful of your privacy, which is really nice, but it also means that you don't really get to know them that well if at all. Maybe it's just where we live (North Eugene area), not sure. We're moving to a different neighborhood in the Spring so I'll let you know if things change.

I think your best bet, if you're single and wanting to meet other people for potential relationships of any kind, is just to pursue your own thing and eventually you will meet someone else along your way who has similar interests. Volunteer your time with groups that are doing good for things you care about, and you'll meet other caring people doing the same. For me, because I volunteer with other parents, I think it's been hard because we're all so busy with our kids and families... but for a single person, I would think it might be easier to meet someone this way and carry on a relationship beyond just the initial chit-chat getting to know you stage.

Or get a part-time job at a coffee shop, or just become a regular at one you like. You'll slowly meet people that way in that age group (20-30). Taking classes at the local community college might be a good idea, too.

[phreespirit74]

I was somewhat surprised when I moved here at the difficulty in establishing or making new friends. I'm not in school and prefer to keep my work separate from my circle of friends. People here are very friendly, so it's a little hard to understand....people just don't seem to put a lot of effort into making new friends. Fortunately, my partner ran a local bar and so we were able to make friends that way and over 3 years in we are fortunate to have a good circle of friends.

My singles friends do complain about dating in this town. It's not a big town, so maybe that has an impact. Given the size of the town there are not as many social hang outs as you may be used to. In a night of hanging out you can easily hit almost every place that you'd hope to find a single.

With regards to moving here for a job, I did the same and I love many things about this town. Having said that, my partner and I are now looking for jobs and will have to leave Eugene/Oregon to find one. There are no jobs here, so that should be considered. I wouldn't risk it unless you have a solid, secure position with an organization.

[haggardhouseelf]

Originally Posted by phreespirit74

With regards to moving here for a job, I did the same and I love many things about this town. Having said that, my partner and I are now looking for jobs and will have to leave Eugene/Oregon to find one. There are no jobs here, so that should be considered. I wouldn't risk it unless you have a solid, secure position with an organization.

I am sorry you feel like you have to look elsewhere for a job. What sort of job are you looking for? These are tough times for people right now.

[phreespirit74]

Call center management background. Very difficult times. Companies are undercutting qualified people as they can take advantage of the situation also ;(

[knut88]

Are buying companys and out with the old in with the new I am out of work for that one but good thing for me I am willing to move to were the work is.

[CCCVDUR]

Originally Posted by phreespirit74

I was somewhat surprised when I moved here at the difficulty in establishing or making new friends. I'm not in school and prefer to keep my work separate from my circle of friends. People here are very friendly, so it's a little hard to understand....people just don't seem to put a lot of effort into making new friends. Fortunately, my partner ran a local bar and so we were able to make friends that way and over 3 years in we are fortunate to have a good circle of friends.

My singles friends do complain about dating in this town. It's not a big town, so maybe that has an impact. Given the size of the town there are not as many social hang outs as you may be used to. In a night of hanging out you can easily hit almost every place that you'd hope to find a single.

Hmmm...interesting, people in my native Seattle are ALSO very friendly...and will talk to you on the streets...but it's much easier to make friends than my current location in Arizona...

That makes sense - since the "Open to Experience" scores in WA, OR, are in the single digits ... so people are very friendly and like to talk to new people ...

... and the "Extroversion Scores" for WA, OR are among the lowest in the US ...

The Geography Of Personality =
The United States of Mind - WSJ.com

The Unfriendliness, Lonliness, and resulting Depression are my biggest complaints about Arizona / New Mexico, and is why I'm moving to either Colorado or the Pacific N.W. or Colorado .... AZ and NM have some of the lowest "Open to Experience" scores in the nation ... and also are among the highest "Consciencious" scores =Tom

btw "Open to experience" also correlates with Political Liberalism.
WDC-#1
NY-#2
OR-#3
MASS-#4
WA-#5
CA-#6
VT-#7
CO-#8
NM/AZ - 20's 30's

[CCCVDUR]

Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf

The PNW is a weird place socially. I'm married, but even for me, trying to get beyond the acquaintance phase of a relationship with people is hard.

I meet people while volunteering or out and about running errands or at the bookstore or library. People are very nice and talkative here, and you can carry on some interesting conversations with total strangers at the right moment, relaxing in a coffee shop or waiting for your food or whatever... but it's really hard to get beyond that.

I'm a transplant here, and we also lived in CA and WA each for one year. In TX, where I'm from, things are way different. You get close with people real quick, and your neighbors become like family.

In this regard Eugene sounds exactly like my native Seattle. Down here in AZ, NM, I really miss the spontaneity in talking to your neighbors and others on the streets! I've met several people from Oregon down here and they don't like it. Neither do folks from L.A., San Diego, San Francisco, Illinois, NY, etc.

In fact, I got FIRED in Albuquerque for providing "too much customer service," talking to the customers too much. As a result, the business was open for an extra 1.5 hrs, and I deferred non-essential duties for the next morning. Back in Seattle, Customer Service is always #1!

As for your experiences in Texas, let's see:
Extraversion - moderately high, at 16 points
Open to Experience, moderately high, at 17
Conscientiousness, moderate at 18

With that fairly high Extrovert score, your experience in Texas makes sense. I think this new personality study answers a lot of these questions. =Tom

The United States of Mind - WSJ.com