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Are people from Europe 'nicer' and less egotistical than Americans?
What a silly question, of course people from Europe are 'nicer' and less egotistical than Americans! Oh, and a little off topic but certainly worth mentioning, people from Europe eat better food, drink better...whatever and are also smarter, thinner, more fashion forward, speak several languages, AND their lifestyles are vastly better than that of Americans as well.
Personally, I still don't understand why some Europeans are even interested in coming to the states to live and work. By the way, I learned all of this here at the cd world forums!
OOOPS...Edit to ADD: They also have better Heath Care, forgetful me!
Americans are much nicer than Europeans. There is much less BS with Americans than Europeans. Also – European countries is very different from each other and sometimes it is a great difference even though we are all Europeans, white and Christians (in some sense). I feel more at home in United States than I do in Eastern Europe and even in central European (once defined as Eastern Europe) countries like Czech Republic. The Balkans is just way out different from Northern Europe. Southern Europe is also pretty different I think from Northern Europe and Portugal feels like Brazil. I’m actually surprised that Iceland is some culturally different from the Sweden. I think it mostly about language barriers. It is easy for me to communicate with those who speak English and so it is easier for me to socialize with them than with some French people – who find English difficult.
I can only speak for myself. I don't try to psychoanalyze strangers who are polite to me. "But are they GENUINE or is it an ACT???" Newsflash - most good manners are "an act" of sorts. What I mean by that is that if we all reverted back to our completely natural state, we'd be walking around farting in public, burping, peeing in the street, all that charm - while in the nude. Good manners and courtesy are learned behaviors, and friendliness is as well to some extent.
I'd like to add a little psychoanalysis of my own, if I may. LOL. I'm aware of the common criticism of friendliness as fake, and I'm not of that persuasion. I think even if friendliness is just an "act" or a manifestation of cultural upbringing, by being outwardly friendly one at least influences their own internal disposition. IOW, if you try to be nice and friendly to others, it can cause you to feel more like how you are acting, even if sometimes it's all "fake." People's internal psychology and their outward expressions are not 100% independent of one another like this criticism assumes.
The deceptively named "right to work" laws (which should be named "right of the owners to fire you without cause for any reason whatsoever"), the crushing of the unions, and the rules forbidding people from sharing their salary with one another for fear of being fired are a few examples of that head start the wealthy have, but they're minor ones. The wealthy and powerful have far larger head starts than those.
Do you EVER check facts before posting your personal opinions??????
It is AGAINST FEDERAL LAW FOR AN EMPLOYER TO FORBID EMPLOYEES TO DISCUSS THEIR PAY (except while they are on the clock). I've already given you the link to the law but you either have me on ignore or you'd rather continue misrepresenting the truth, I guess.
Americans are much nicer than Europeans. There is much less BS with Americans than Europeans. Also – European countries is very different from each other and sometimes it is a great difference even though we are all Europeans, white and Christians (in some sense). I feel more at home in United States than I do in Eastern Europe and even in central European (once defined as Eastern Europe) countries like Czech Republic. The Balkans is just way out different from Northern Europe. Southern Europe is also pretty different I think from Northern Europe and Portugal feels like Brazil. I’m actually surprised that Iceland is some culturally different from the Sweden. I think it mostly about language barriers. It is easy for me to communicate with those who speak English and so it is easier for me to socialize with them than with some French people – who find English difficult.
Upon first meeting Americans, these can seem to be the friendliest people on the planet. That's because Americans are not merely friendly upon meeting, but intensely friendly. You've barely arrived and they're already greeting you: 'HI!!!!! WELCOME!!!!" This might be good initially, but it is by no means an indication that this overwhelming friendliness will ever develop into a deep, trustworthy and brotherly kinship, nor should that be expected. In fact, in the U.S. human connections are generally enduring as they are in Europe, due to the transient nation of the U.S. Perhaps that's the main reason for the instant friendly reaction. What I mean to say is, in a country where things are so transient and everything is so short-lived, if we at least don't behave super-friendly from the first minute, what chance for friendliness might there be at all?
I will say that here in the U.S. Churches do play a role in the U.S. as a sort of second class and superficial replacement of community and extended family. This is important, since extended families are all but nonexistent, and community became a thing of the past when construction, residences, and jobs sprawled out throughout the nation. Churches are probably the last social connection left in this country.
I never count work as a source for social connections, because work is something we rely on for our survival, and is not meant to be a leisurely environment where we can feel relaxed and develop and grow friendships and the love and nurture these require to be sincere. While at work there might be an encouragement of "team spirit" and group activities, these are more meant as a way to unite the workforce under the auspices of the goal (work hard to make the boss's company more successful) rather than a message to treat your coworker as your brother. Work is where we work for an owner, and the employees are in many ways competing against one another, not sharing information about their salaries, and being adversaries in many ways to get ahead over the rest. That's why I see it as a very poor source for serious friendship.
This sort of instant friendliness found among Americans is not prevalent in Europe. There is not the instant friendliness, but there is a very lengthy process of developing close and lasting friendships.
So are Americans "nice?" Depends on what "nice" means. I think all people in this world are similar genetically. It's our countries' cultures and lifestyles, and our roles within these which ultimately makes us all what we are, or "nice" or not. Personally, I don't think instant friendliness is "nice," unless one is into pretense, but that's just my take on it. On the other hand, I can pretend to be super friendly from the start. I'm quite good at it, too!
Upon first meeting Americans, these can seem to be the friendliest people on the planet. That's because Americans are not merely friendly upon meeting, but intensely friendly. You've barely arrived and they're already greeting you: 'HI!!!!! WELCOME!!!!"
What a sad little post. But it does say a lot about it's author's mindset and values.
I found this part pretty interesting though.
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This might be good initially, but it is by no means an indication that this overwhelming friendliness will ever develop into a deep, trustworthy and brotherly kinship, nor should that be expected. In fact, in the U.S. human connections are generally enduring as they are in Europe, due to the transient nation of the U.S. Perhaps that's the main reason for the instant friendly reaction. What I mean to say is, in a country where things are so transient and everything is so short-lived, if we at least don't behave super-friendly from the first minute, what chance for friendliness might there be at all?
I'm from a military family. Military families generally move every three years. As a military brat, it's easy to fall into one of two categories - the quiet kid who retreats into a shell and becomes sort of invisible, and the extrovert who "never meets a stranger." I fell into the second category. I learned very early on that if I didn't smile, initiate conversations, and join into activities immediately, I'd go months without friendships and then by the time I actually made friends, we'd be getting ready to move. So by age 7 or so I was well on my way to becoming a very effective networker (a skill that has served me well professionally too, I might add).
The funny thing is, what ended up happening is that I collected friends along the way and many of those people are STILL my friends, forty years later. Being part of the military lifestyle can remind one that distance doesn't necessarily kill a relationship. In fact, here's an example of that at work - the other day, one of my childhood friends (no relation -just a friend) lost her mom - her mom died suddenly. Though she's in Georgia and I'm in Texas, we talked for four hours on the phone. She and I have also made that long drive to see each other several times over the years. Every time we're together, it's like we never left each other's neighborhood! I have several friends who fall into that category - we don't see each other all that often but we talk pretty regularly and when we do see each other, we immediately connect just as we did long ago. And we dearly love each other.
Living that military lifestyle, if I hadn't learned to just jump on in there and be friendly and outgoing, I might have missed these opportunities for lifelong friendships. You don't have to share a latte with someone every week to be their friend for life.
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I will say that here in the U.S. Churches do play a role in the U.S. as a sort of second class and superficial replacement of community and extended family. This is important, since extended families are all but nonexistent, and community became a thing of the past when construction, residences, and jobs sprawled out throughout the nation. Churches are probably the last social connection left in this country.
First of all, I'm not a regular church goer, but I have been in the past - just wanted to get that out there. So I have no animosity toward church goers but that's not where I get my sense of community or extended family.
I have to ask though - why do you feel that churches are a "superficial replacement for community?" Churches/mosques/synagogues/religious centers throughout history and in every country are historically centers of the community. In fact, one of my favorite lines in the ancient Apostles Creed is
"9. I believe in the holy catholic church: the communion of saints:
10. The forgiveness of sins:
1l. The resurrection of the body:
12. And the life everlasting. Amen."
As for "nonexistent extended families" sorry, but that's just hogwash. Families don't have to live in multigenerational housing to be very closely knit. It's impossible to generalize about just how "close" every American family is, but once again - coming from a military family background, with cousins and aunts and uncles and kids scattered literally all over the globe, somehow we still manage to remain close emotionally - and we get together as often as possible physically. My parents live five hours away from me, and my daughter lives in GUAM and somehow we still manage to talk on the phone nearly every day.
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I never count work as a source for social connections, because work is something we rely on for our survival, and is not meant to be a leisurely environment where we can feel relaxed and develop and grow friendships and the love and nurture these require to be sincere. While at work there might be an encouragement of "team spirit" and group activities, these are more meant as a way to unite the workforce under the auspices of the goal (work hard to make the boss's company more successful) rather than a message to treat your coworker as your brother. Work is where we work for an owner, and the employees are in many ways competing against one another, not sharing information about their salaries, and being adversaries in many ways to get ahead over the rest. That's why I see it as a very poor source for serious friendship.
This was a very interesting paragraph to me. It differs so much from my own personal experience and attitude. Reminder - we're not talking about objective FACTS here - only swapping our own personal experiences and opinions, which is why I don't state those as if they were facts about all or most Americans.
In every work environment I've chosen to work in, I've developed lasting friendships - friendships that are still in place today - with a few of my coworkers. Generally just one or two from a company, but I don't have a LOT of deep friendships in my life - I only need a handful of deep friendships to feel fulfilled. But I have girlfriends from just about every former employer that I can call and meet up with for lunch at the drop of a hat. And we do get together a couple of times a year. But my three BEST friends - the ones I could call in the middle of the night and they'd be there in fifteen minutes - each were former co workers or business associates. We met through work or business connections and became close friends.
One of those friends was my boss for seven years. His family and my family are VERY close to this day, even though we haven't worked together for about seven years. In fact, a few years ago, long story short, my daughter needed an additional $3000 BY THE NEXT DAY to complete an international adoption which had been suddenly and unexpectedly bumped up about 8 months. Of course we could have just given her the money, but we'd already donated a lot of money to this particular cause, and I knew that my former boss and very good friend worked with a group that gave interest free loans to families trying to adopt a child, so I thought it was worth a shot calling him, even though it was very short notice. He told me, "Have your daughter call me." Within two hours, the money, in the form of a gift, not a loan, was in her bank account and a few weeks later, we welcomed our first and only grandson into our family! Now THAT'S a friend. And this friend is a very successful business owner too - a capitalist to the core! Go figgur.
By the way, you crack me up with this "not sharing information about their salaries" tripe. Of course, many Americans feel it's RUDE to discuss what they earn with others, or ask what others earn, but that's a societal norm, not a law. As you know, but insist on ignoring, it's against federal law to forbid employees from discussing their pay. Your insistence on repeating this myth in post after post borders on weird.
But like I said, this section of your post tells me a lot about you. Apparently you feel as if your coworkers are your adversaries, and any friendliness you exhibit there toward your coworkers is insincere. But that's YOUR attitude which you are projecting on to others.
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On the other hand, I can pretend to be super friendly from the start. I'm quite good at it, too!
This I don't doubt for a minute.
You and I are different. Apparently, by your own admission, you PRETEND to be friendly. I really am friendly. I genuinely do default to LIKING people rather than disliking them, so I start each interaction on a positive note and expect the best, not the worst, from others. People don't have to "earn my respect" (though they CAN lose it). That's the first step toward friendship. No, I don't expect everyone I meet to be my friend, and they don't expect it either just because I smile at them, treat them respectfully, and show my genuine interest in them if the situation calls for it.
I don't think that's an uncommon mindset here in the US - at least that hasn't been my personal experience. And after all, that's all we're discussing - our own personal experiences. Like I've said before, the US is so huge and diverse, it would be impossible to generalize about people's motives for being friendly.
Military family is a strange concept for many europeans.
Well, I'm trying to share information so that people can get another perspective.
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On the other hand, I can pretend to be super friendly from the start. I'm quite good at it, too! 
