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Old 09-12-2009, 03:27 PM
 
908 posts, read 2,923,635 times
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I tried to befriend a mom and her daughter at my son's school that are from Spain. She and my son were in the same class and played at school when they could. I held a party and invited the class over so that this woman's daughter could meet more of the children in her class and get to know them outside of school. I talked with her and some other moms about it and they loved the idea. Many showed, but the woman and her daughter ddi not. She never replied to my calls or evites. I later asked her about it and she just said she was busy. I didn't know what to make of it, so I just let it go.

I did another party for the kids a month later (low key, games and play and snacks). This time I called her and spoke with her. She said maybe, she said if it rained they would stay home and then she would come to the party. She never came or called.

We did see each other around town and on the playground. We would talk and such. But, this year with the start of school I saw her and greeted her warmly. Another woman walked up while we were talking and she greeted this woman and turned away from me. She never introduced me or said anything. She was done with me, I guess.

She's so social with other moms, but I noticed that if I don't say hello to her first, she won't speak to me. As I've reflected about our past interactions, I noticed that all of the moms I;ve seen her with are Hispanic. She obviously has a comfort level with Spanish woman and not white women. This still hurts. Is there more of a racial thing going on than I know? We did, I thought, have a lot in common, so I thought we had many things to talk about. What's your take? Does this sound like a racial thing?
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Old 09-12-2009, 03:52 PM
 
1,126 posts, read 2,436,078 times
Reputation: 567
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skatergirl View Post
I tried to befriend a mom and her daughter at my son's school that are from Spain. She and my son were in the same class and played at school when they could. I held a party and invited the class over so that this woman's daughter could meet more of the children in her class and get to know them outside of school. I talked with her and some other moms about it and they loved the idea. Many showed, but the woman and her daughter ddi not. She never replied to my calls or evites. I later asked her about it and she just said she was busy. I didn't know what to make of it, so I just let it go.

I did another party for the kids a month later (low key, games and play and snacks). This time I called her and spoke with her. She said maybe, she said if it rained they would stay home and then she would come to the party. She never came or called.

We did see each other around town and on the playground. We would talk and such. But, this year with the start of school I saw her and greeted her warmly. Another woman walked up while we were talking and she greeted this woman and turned away from me. She never introduced me or said anything. She was done with me, I guess.

She's so social with other moms, but I noticed that if I don't say hello to her first, she won't speak to me. As I've reflected about our past interactions, I noticed that all of the moms I;ve seen her with are Hispanic. She obviously has a comfort level with Spanish woman and not white women. This still hurts. Is there more of a racial thing going on than I know? We did, I thought, have a lot in common, so I thought we had many things to talk about. What's your take? Does this sound like a racial thing?
I don't get this. Are you implying that Spaniards are not White? Or do you mean people from Central/South America?

Anyway, I don't see anything "racial" here, maybe she's more comfortable with them due to cultural or language issues
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Old 09-12-2009, 05:50 PM
 
Location: EUROPE
9 posts, read 17,888 times
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Hi Skatergirl,

First of all, I really sorry with my english. Itīs terrible. I know it. This is my first message in this forum.
Well, I am really surprised that you say that she prefers to be with Spanish women and not with white women. I have to tell you that Spanish people are white. Because we are from Europe, if you look in a map, you can find my country that is border with France and Portugal.
Donīt make a mistake about the language. I mean, you speak english and I think that you are not english. Thatīs the thing.
Probably she hasnīt a good level of english language and she feels more comfortable talking with people who share the language.
Sorry if I have been rude. It wasnīt my intention, but I coulnīt resist to put my country in the right continent.
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Old 09-12-2009, 07:29 PM
 
908 posts, read 2,923,635 times
Reputation: 666
Default Apologize for blunder

Sorry, when I said white, I meant to infer caucasion and not hispanic.
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Old 09-12-2009, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Denver
2,970 posts, read 6,268,522 times
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Well, I am not Spanish but I do have experience with the Spanish culture. We hosted an exchange student for a year (she was from Madrid) and then in college I studied abroad in Spain (in Malaga). From my experiences, Spanish people are a bit "strange" socially. For instance, our exchange student was wonderful and fit right in during her time here. However, once she moved back to Spain she rarely kept in contact. I visited her once two or three years after she lived in the U.S. and that is the last I have seen/spoken to her (this was over a decade ago now).

Likewise, the family I lived with in Malaga was wonderful. So helpful and nice, I really felt like part of the family at the time. Once I got home, I wanted to keep in touch via writing/email.........but it wasn't reciprocated and I often think of them and wonder how they are doing.

I wouldn't take it too personally.......I think it is at least partly a cultural thing. Like the other posters mentioned though, Spaniards are very different from Spanish-speaking people from Mexico, the Domincan, Puerto Rico, etc. The language is a lot different.
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Old 09-13-2009, 10:42 AM
 
3,111 posts, read 7,019,778 times
Reputation: 4251
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skatergirl View Post
Sorry, when I said white, I meant to infer caucasion and not hispanic.
What?
You probably came off as ignorant, and she doesn't like you. Problem solved.
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Old 09-13-2009, 10:50 AM
 
1,126 posts, read 2,436,078 times
Reputation: 567
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skatergirl View Post
Sorry, when I said white, I meant to infer caucasion and not hispanic.
I am sorry but wtf
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Old 09-13-2009, 11:51 AM
 
908 posts, read 2,923,635 times
Reputation: 666
Default Really?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hasdrubal View Post
I am sorry but wtf
You seem to have a problem with me, and not truly wanting to understand my point that I mean to clarify hispanic vs. non-hispanic. That was it. Don't try to make anything more of it.
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Old 09-13-2009, 02:11 PM
 
1,126 posts, read 2,436,078 times
Reputation: 567
You said that Spanish women are not "Caucasion" or white. I don't have any problem with you, I just don't get what are you trying to say.

And by the way, as you have been told, it has nothing to do with "race" (since when Hispanic is a race?) but cultural and language similarities. This happens everywhere. For example, American expatriates use to hang out with British, Canadian, Australian expats for the very same reason: cultural and language coincidence.
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Old 09-13-2009, 02:23 PM
 
549 posts, read 1,527,526 times
Reputation: 243
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skatergirl View Post
I tried to befriend a mom and her daughter at my son's school that are from Spain. She and my son were in the same class and played at school when they could. I held a party and invited the class over so that this woman's daughter could meet more of the children in her class and get to know them outside of school. I talked with her and some other moms about it and they loved the idea. Many showed, but the woman and her daughter ddi not. She never replied to my calls or evites. I later asked her about it and she just said she was busy. I didn't know what to make of it, so I just let it go.

I did another party for the kids a month later (low key, games and play and snacks). This time I called her and spoke with her. She said maybe, she said if it rained they would stay home and then she would come to the party. She never came or called.

We did see each other around town and on the playground. We would talk and such. But, this year with the start of school I saw her and greeted her warmly. Another woman walked up while we were talking and she greeted this woman and turned away from me. She never introduced me or said anything. She was done with me, I guess.

She's so social with other moms, but I noticed that if I don't say hello to her first, she won't speak to me. As I've reflected about our past interactions, I noticed that all of the moms I;ve seen her with are Hispanic. She obviously has a comfort level with Spanish woman and not white women. This still hurts. Is there more of a racial thing going on than I know? We did, I thought, have a lot in common, so I thought we had many things to talk about. What's your take? Does this sound like a racial thing?

Maybe she prefers to socialize in her native language (Castillian..Spanish)

BtW, what do you mean by "hispanics" ....North American Mexicans?

The most caucasian countries in the American continent are Argentina, Uruguay, and Canada. Even Chile is more caucasian than the U.S. The demographics of U.S. are similar to Brazil. I write this because you said that "Hispanics" are not Caucasian.

She is not being racist towards you...she just feel more comfortable talking to people who speaks her native language.
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