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I agree. I do want to look my best, so I wear sunscreen and work out and use whitening rinse on my teeth and things like that. I enjoy feeling attractive, especially to my husband. He takes care of himself too, which I appreciate--and I show my appreciation, which he loves. So it's a mutual thing. I think your statement that your looks are all you have is the key ... don't believe that. If you honestly feel that there is nothing good or interesting about you, work on that! Learn something new, play an instrument, read some books, go to a museum, take a walk and look at the world around you. Your insides are just as important as the outside. More so, even.
I went to Lands' End yesterday to return some clothes I had ordered, and there was an older woman there looking at swimsuits. She was probably about 60, and she was very striking. She was about six feet tall and had beautifully straight posture and a bob of waving silver hair. She looked so elegant. That's who I want to be when I grow up.
It is nice to try to keep looking your best, I do what I can, but I would much rather age gracefully than being a sad old lady in her late 50s trying to look as if I were 35.
I would not like to turn back time, I am happy with the way I look for my age, and will keep looking the age I am, as nicely as possible but not a caricature of a younger person.
Everybody ages and it is great to see old people with white hair and wrinkles and still beautiful, but truth to their age.
To each their own, but as much as looking good is a nice thing, for me it is much more important to maintain my health at an older age, not my looks.
And I would like to be admired not by the way I look but for my personality.
Yes, I much rather look healthy. I know I'm no beautiful young flower and I never was beautiful, but I try to take care of myself the best I can. That means I eat well, drink a lot of water, cut out sugars as much as possible. I've always had a bit of a problem with my weight though and that's one thing I worry about the most as I age.
How does that quote go? Something along the lines of woman, thy name is Vanity?
It makes me sad to think some of us -- me, included, on occasion -- place so much emphasis on how we look, as if our look is the sum total of who we are. I think this starts for us as young girls, even, and I know that when I am out-and-about, I try to find something about all little girls I meet, to compliment -- lovely eyes, hair, shape of the nose, whatever, because even as girls, we wrestle with our looks and let it define who are, and how we feel about ourselves.
I am all for taking care of oneself -- eating healthy, drinking plenty of water, getting a good night's sleep, maintaining a healthy weight, dressing attractively and appropriately -- but I recognized at one time that I was spending too much energy bemoaning the fact I was no longer 20, 30, or even 40. I remembered women of my Mother's generation, too much caught up in how they looked, until they were too self-absorbed, obsessed with looks, and had become quite shallow -- they could tell you the latest beauty secrets but had absolutely NO idea what was being covered on the nightly news.
I have to admit I miss my very-nicely toned, and sculpted arms, my dark hair, smoother skin on my face and hands, and feel like I fret too much over age spots and other imperfections. I think twice about eating many things for all sorts of reasons, above and beyond a spreading waistline (heartburn, UGH) -- in my younger days, I had quite an hourglass shape, not to brag too much -- but I have since come to the conclusion that I need to focus less on being what I was at 20,30 and 40, and be the BEST I can be at where I am now.
I also try to surround myself with women (and men) who can embrace who they are at all stages of their lives. To answer the question, do I worry about losing my looks, I have to be honest and say, "yes," but I look for other things to be happy about, and one thing is that I am not as self-conscious as I was in my youth, and am more comfortable with the ME that I truly am, which has more to do with the inner me as opposed to the outer me. If I work on the outer, it is to keep the inner healthy.
I do, I admit. I drink gallons of water, I exfoliate like crazy, I moisturize and I either apply sunscreen or stay out of the sun. I try to eat the right things. I quit smoking years ago when everyone around me was smoking; I haven't drank alcohol in almost five years. I brush and floss religiously. I get haircuts and a bit of color when it looks shaggy. I see women younger than me talking about Botox and Restylane, but I just get squeamish thinking about injecting something into my face. UGH!
As a Christian woman, I know that there are lots of more important things than our looks, LOTS more important. That said, I have to admit that at age 54 now, my own aging bothers me. If I seemed to be aging "well" it probably wouldn't, but some of my friends who are almost 60 actually look nicer than I do. In fact, just the other day, I was in a store and I noticed they gave me the "55 and over" discount without asking! Well, I'm almost 55 but not there yet. I figure they must have just assumed I was well past it to make that assumption with the confidence to not even ask! I would have thought that I would have aged better because I pretty much always stayed out of the sun, never smoked, barely ever drank etc. I think some of it is just out of our control. Kinda like JustJulia said, my main concern, really, is for my husband at least to think I'm somewhat attractive.
So....yeah, it's something I'm dealing with mentally right now. I would like to say that I'm not bothered by such petty trivia, but that's just not the case. Of course, there's always plastic surgery, but I don't do pain well and I really can't see doing something that drastic ...but I certainly don't judge those that do. And I'm not gonna back myself into a corner and say "never" either! Right now I'm settling for sunscreen and Retin A! And yes, I might consider the "injections."
All that said, however, even though I've admitted it bothers me, I do NOT see the sum total of my worth in my looks, far from it To the OP, VaNilLaGoRiLla, although our society might try to tell us otherwise, our true beauty is in our character, not our ever changing exterior. This may sound like a cliche, but it's really true. Too much obsessing about looks can drive you bonkers! My advice would simply do the best you reasonably can and don't fret about the rest!
I'm just worried about getting and looking old. All those over the counter ant-aging creams really do not work. If they did they would cost thousands of dollars. My dermatologist said to use spf 60 everyday and to use retin a. He says the only hting that will work is retin A.
I also stay out of the sun and don't smoke or drink. I also think stress contributes to aging which I can't avoid.
I think my efforts may be working as I was Id'd when I went to buy beer. When I showed the guy my ID he said You're young looking.
Id'd at the casino as well.
Imagine how bad supermodels and actresses must feel when they get old. Supermodels must feel pretty worthless since their whole life is primarily about their looks.
I do, I admit. I drink gallons of water, I exfoliate like crazy, I moisturize and I either apply sunscreen or stay out of the sun. I try to eat the right things. I quit smoking years ago when everyone around me was smoking; I haven't drank alcohol in almost five years. I brush and floss religiously. I get haircuts and a bit of color when it looks shaggy. I see women younger than me talking about Botox and Restylane, but I just get squeamish thinking about injecting something into my face. UGH!
Be careful with that exfoliating! Too much of it can actually INCREASE your chance of getting wrinkles. You can start to create microtears in your skin.
Be careful with that exfoliating! Too much of it can actually INCREASE your chance of getting wrinkles. You can start to create microtears in your skin.
Thanks! I use the Aveeno facial scrub with the tiny beads.
What about the body scrubs? I just use the sugar-based ones about twice a week. The salt ones I just can't stand.
I am constantly doing all I can to keep myself looking good. Drinking plenty of water, cucumbering up my eyelids, spending countless dollars on facial scrubs and sunscreen to keep my skin safe from the sun. I spend way too much on clothes and I am always reinventing myself. I HATE to exercise but thankfully I am blessed with a super fast metabolism so I don't really have to.
I have very little self esteem and sometimes feel as though my looks are all I have, and that when they go no one will want me. Do any other ladies feel this way or is it just me?
You need to start. That metabolism will only carry you so far.
Exercise and physical fitness is about much much more than burning calories and staying a size 2.
Exercise will boost your mood and help ward of some of your depression and self-esteem issues.
Exercise will build muscle that will serve you well as time marches on. It will help keep you strong and sculpted and help keep the metabolism going. Even if you never get "fat" , lean muscle always looks better than saggy-baggy-skinny-ness.
Exercise (especially the load bearing type-lifting, running etc) will build strong bones for your later years.
Exercise, especially if you pick a sport such as swimming, or running, or tennis or ?, can be a huge ego-boost. As you work on your proficiency and your skill increases, your self-esteem will rise. In fact learning new skills is an automatic way to stay young throughout your life.
Exercise will usually expand your social circle. Meeting strong and interesting women of all ages can be very enlightening.
Good luck and best wishes.
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Well, I'm almost 55 but not there yet. I figure they must have just assumed I was well past it to make that assumption with the confidence to not even ask!
I would have thought that I would have aged better because I pretty much always stayed out of the sun, never smoked, barely ever drank etc. I think some of it is just out of our control. Kinda like JustJulia said, my main concern, really, is for my husband at least to think I'm somewhat attractive.
I would like to say that I'm not bothered by such petty trivia, but that's just not the case.
Of course, there's always plastic surgery, but I don't do pain well and I really can't see doing something that drastic 
...but I certainly don't judge those that do. And I'm not gonna back myself into a corner and say "never" either!
Right now I'm settling for sunscreen and Retin A! 
And yes, I might consider the "injections." 
