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Old 12-24-2010, 10:45 AM
Location: SF Bay Area
14,330 posts, read 19,076,863 times
Reputation: 18436


Originally Posted by paul789 View Post
im 511 and incredibly chubby ( i feel huge)
recently, a friend told me that im in super pretty but its the way i carry myself that is a turn offis confidence really that important? and how do you relay it?
Privately engage in some endeavor that gives you a great sense of pride and accomplishment at having mastered. The sense of accomplishment you feel will project in the form of increased confidence.

For instance, I take great pride in being able to play the violin as well as I do. Or I force myself to rise at 4:30am to work out, a time when nobody else is doing it. Gives me an edge. Or completing a Master's degree in a difficult subject matter. Increasing your education in difficult subject matter always generates confidence. Or noticing gains/improvement in physique because of the discipline you show in exercising generates increased confidence.

Sounds like you need to work on becoming less chubby. Apparently your excess weight is wrecking havoc on your confidence level. Commit yourself to an exercise regimen that involves you and you alone. That battle should be privately fought and won. Confidence should follow. Watch Olympic athletes to see this effect. Lawyers too.
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Old 12-27-2010, 02:12 PM
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There used to be a commercial that said: If you look good you'll feel good. And if you feel good, you'll do good. I believe that.

A few random thoughts: Wear clothing you like and feel comfortable in. Find a friend who will tell you the truth and take them clothes shopping with you. Make sure you pick a friend who looks good themselves. Ask them how the clothes make you look. Ask for suggestions.

If you like what you are wearing and feel like you look pretty darn good you will carry yourself differently. Carry a purse you love. Wear shoes that fit and don't hurt your feet. Don't be a slave to fashion. Just because it's in style doesn't mean it looks good on YOU. Better to own a few really good quality, pieces of clothing and accessories then have a closet full of cheap junk.

Smile. A lot. Realise that the vast majority of people you see on the street are just as insecure as you are. Don't look at photos in magazines and wish you looked like that. Nobody looks like that. They have help. And wind machines.

Remember that pretty much everyone thinks that they are the dork in the room.
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Old 01-07-2011, 12:57 PM
335 posts, read 816,354 times
Reputation: 340
I agree with those who mentioned sitting and standing erect, walking with head held high and eyes forward, make eye contact, and smile. If you don't look confident and happy, then people will think you are not worth knowing, unless it's someone who wants to take advantage of you.

None of us is perfect, but we all have qualities we are proud of. Focus on those and tell yourself you're a good person until you believe it.

As far as the weight, it's really up to you to get it off. It will take a long time, or save up for surgery. Life is harder for overweight people.
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