U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-07-2011, 12:50 AM
 
151 posts, read 537,185 times
Reputation: 114

Advertisements

Two years ago I was single, independent, happy, and gorgeous. Two years ago I met what is now my ex boyfriend. I met him at a coffee shop and we immediately started dating. Back then I was going to the spa every week, buying expensive cosmetic products and was extremely high maintenance. This ex boyfriend was the first guy I have ever dated and things quickly moved forward and I ended up moving in with him. Unfortunately, he did not approve of going to the spa or buying high-end cosmetics or even having nice clothing. I loved this man and felt as though as long as he loved me then that's all that mattered. I became depressed and started eating junk and gained well over 70lbs. Before we met I weighed 130. I'm 5'10". I started to care less about myself and some days didn't even wash my face, comb my hair or brush my teeth. I was just lost. Well, anyway we broke up after Christmas of this year and here I am back at home with my parents and feeling miserable and ugly.

I was so beautiful and had a great body and was always the center of attention. But, now I am well over 200 lbs, my hair is crap and I can't do anything with it, I need to see a dentist because I have a chipped front tooth and I'm worried about their overall health, my skin is just absolutely horrible. I am broke out, have a lot of redness, and no, I'm not even cleansing it.


I'm truly miserable. I mean, I don't even leave the house. I know what I need to do to revive my beauty, but can't get motivated. I am trying to save money to buy a new home in Florida so that I can move out of my parent's home in Tennessee. I just feel I can't afford beauty products and procedures anymore. If I can't have it all, I don't want anything! I know that's a bad attitude, but it's how I feel. I want everything. Well, truly there is so much I need since I don't own anything right now and have been using my parents dollar store products.

I guess my question is do you think if I were to invest in some high-end beauty products that I would feel better about myself? I'm trying to save for a home I want to buy in Florida and on top of that I have got a lot of bills to pay. I'm not sure what to do. I feel ugly and useless. I don't have anyone to look good for. I just want to be active again and would like to meet a nice guy and start dating. Staying in the house and never stepping outside is not going to get me the things I want. I'm ready to start living again. Where should I start? No one is going to take me seriously with the way I look now.

Questions and comments are welcome!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-07-2011, 05:31 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,000 posts, read 54,493,040 times
Reputation: 66344
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sophisticated Lifestyles View Post
Two years ago I was single, independent, happy, and gorgeous. Two years ago I met what is now my ex boyfriend. I met him at a coffee shop and we immediately started dating. Back then I was going to the spa every week, buying expensive cosmetic products and was extremely high maintenance. This ex boyfriend was the first guy I have ever dated and things quickly moved forward and I ended up moving in with him. Unfortunately, he did not approve of going to the spa or buying high-end cosmetics or even having nice clothing. I loved this man and felt as though as long as he loved me then that's all that mattered. I became depressed and started eating junk and gained well over 70lbs. Before we met I weighed 130. I'm 5'10". I started to care less about myself and some days didn't even wash my face, comb my hair or brush my teeth. I was just lost. Well, anyway we broke up after Christmas of this year and here I am back at home with my parents and feeling miserable and ugly.

I was so beautiful and had a great body and was always the center of attention. But, now I am well over 200 lbs, my hair is crap and I can't do anything with it, I need to see a dentist because I have a chipped front tooth and I'm worried about their overall health, my skin is just absolutely horrible. I am broke out, have a lot of redness, and no, I'm not even cleansing it.


I'm truly miserable. I mean, I don't even leave the house. I know what I need to do to revive my beauty, but can't get motivated. I am trying to save money to buy a new home in Florida so that I can move out of my parent's home in Tennessee. I just feel I can't afford beauty products and procedures anymore. If I can't have it all, I don't want anything! I know that's a bad attitude, but it's how I feel. I want everything. Well, truly there is so much I need since I don't own anything right now and have been using my parents dollar store products.

I guess my question is do you think if I were to invest in some high-end beauty products that I would feel better about myself? I'm trying to save for a home I want to buy in Florida and on top of that I have got a lot of bills to pay. I'm not sure what to do. I feel ugly and useless. I don't have anyone to look good for. I just want to be active again and would like to meet a nice guy and start dating. Staying in the house and never stepping outside is not going to get me the things I want. I'm ready to start living again. Where should I start? No one is going to take me seriously with the way I look now.

Questions and comments are welcome!
You have yourself to look good for. Start with one step at a time. Walking, for instance, which doesn't cost money, but which will help with the weight and overall health. And maybe that's what you should concentrate on, health rather than beauty.

It sounds as if there's some depression going on, and bad relationships can do that. You lost yourself along the way, and now you have to concentrate for a while on finding you again. Don't let your self-esteem depend upon whether you have a man or not!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2011, 08:38 AM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 36,387,593 times
Reputation: 20198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sophisticated Lifestyles View Post
(explanation, then the million dollar question)
I guess my question is do you think if I were to invest in some high-end beauty products that I would feel better about myself?

Questions and comments are welcome!
Absolutely not. All that will do, is make you feel more miserable for spending so much money on things that you don't need, while trying to save up for a specific goal (Florida).

As Mightyqueen said - start simple. Build up. First...
1. Invest in a scrubby puff. They're maybe $1 at the supermarket in the dollar aisle.
2. Invest in one bar of clear (but usually amber-hued) sandalwood glycerine soap. Maybe $3 in the supermarket specialty soap section. Make sure it's actual sandalwood, not just "scented" or "perfumed." Get it from a natural food store if the supermarket doesn't have it.
3. Get one of those travel-sized bottles of the absolute best quality shampoo and matching conditioner you can find at the supermarket. Maybe it'll cost you $4 for the 2 travel sized bottles.
4. Invest in some tinted lip gloss. NYC sells theirs I think for around $2.00

Now..take a shower with that scubby puff and soap. Use a regular washcloth with the same soap to wash your face. Use a little of that fancy shampoo and conditioner for your hair and YES EVEN THAT OTHER HAIR DOWN THERE! Go nuts. Shampoo your leg hairs if you think it'll give you a giggle.

Wash yourself head to toe. Don't leave the shower til you run out of hot water or til you start feeling lightheaded. Just luxuriate in the steam.

Put some gloss on your lips and head to the salon.

Haircut, color, style. Manicure/pedicure, leg and bikini waxing, facial, and massage. This is going to be your expensive investment. Plan on it costing around $300.

The next day - wake up knowing that you are NEW. You're fresh, clean, cleansed, top to bottom, inside out. Approach your day with that attitude.

Never spend a lot of money on "improvement products" when you're thoroughly miserable. You'll invest too much of your emotions in the results, or lack of results, and not enough in yourself. You shouldn't rely on those things to make you feel good. They might make you look good, but that won't be useful at all, if you still feel like crap.

You have to pamper YOU..first. Pamper, then maintain. Otherwise, you're just putting coverup on smeared eyeliner. Eventually, all anyone will see of you is the layers and layers of coverup, and no one will see the "you" that's under the surface.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2011, 11:14 AM
 
230 posts, read 550,629 times
Reputation: 211
Before you buy any expensive beauty products, sit down and figure out what sort of exercise you enjoy doing, whether it is running for yoga or swimming. Begin working out. A 70 lb weight gain is so incredibly difficult on the body and mind! It also puts you at risk for diabetes and other things, make your health your first priority! I would also look into some sort of counseling. You need to clear your head and unfortunately, since your first major relationship was so toxic, you're going to need some positive affirmations in your life or you'll end up creating a cycle in your relationships and no beauty product in the world is going to help you with that.

Go to a salon, now is the time to splurge on a great haircut and highlights. A dentist will be able to fix that chip in 1 visit and a dermatologist will help get you back on track, see one before buying expensive skincare you might not need. I know you're saving for a home but there's no shame in living at home in your 20s, it's become the new norm, so don't feel bad if you forgo saving for just 1 month in order to invest in yourself instead!

In the future, if a man ever disproves of you taking care of your looks, dump the loser, he doesn't care about you and he doesn't want to see you looking beautiful!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2011, 11:18 AM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,847,719 times
Reputation: 8956
Health is the first step . . . eat healthy, take care of your body: wash it, groom it . . . high end beauty products are not the answer, health is . . . take vitamins, do some exercise - walk, if nothing else. Take some pride in your appearance. It sounds like you have mental health issues if you do not wish to keep yourself clean. It is also interesting that you think "beauty products" are the answer to your problems.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2011, 07:17 PM
 
Location: In the Zombie Room
1,603 posts, read 2,783,466 times
Reputation: 2466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sophisticated Lifestyles View Post

I guess my question is do you think if I were to invest in some high-end beauty products that I would feel better about myself?

Questions and comments are welcome!
You should, instead of investing in "high-end cosmetics", take that money and consider seeing a therapist. It sounds to me that you have a lot more going on that (I'm afraid to say) is not going to be "fixed" with expensive cosmetics.

No amount of cover up is going to mask what's really going on with you. You owe it to yourself to seek help.

Good luck and I hope you find the inner peace you're really looking for.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-07-2011, 11:59 PM
 
Location: not new to houston anymore
276 posts, read 737,101 times
Reputation: 252
a therapist/counselor is a good first step to help deal with the esteem, sadness, etc. they may recommend seeing a dr to start on an antidepressant if needed. depression itself can reduce motivation to make changes, so watch out for that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-08-2011, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Paris
89 posts, read 202,000 times
Reputation: 109
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sophisticated Lifestyles View Post
Two years ago I was single, independent, happy, and gorgeous. Two years ago I met what is now my ex boyfriend. I met him at a coffee shop and we immediately started dating. Back then I was going to the spa every week, buying expensive cosmetic products and was extremely high maintenance. This ex boyfriend was the first guy I have ever dated and things quickly moved forward and I ended up moving in with him. Unfortunately, he did not approve of going to the spa or buying high-end cosmetics or even having nice clothing. I loved this man and felt as though as long as he loved me then that's all that mattered. I became depressed and started eating junk and gained well over 70lbs. Before we met I weighed 130. I'm 5'10". I started to care less about myself and some days didn't even wash my face, comb my hair or brush my teeth. I was just lost. Well, anyway we broke up after Christmas of this year and here I am back at home with my parents and feeling miserable and ugly.

I was so beautiful and had a great body and was always the center of attention. But, now I am well over 200 lbs, my hair is crap and I can't do anything with it, I need to see a dentist because I have a chipped front tooth and I'm worried about their overall health, my skin is just absolutely horrible. I am broke out, have a lot of redness, and no, I'm not even cleansing it.


I'm truly miserable. I mean, I don't even leave the house. I know what I need to do to revive my beauty, but can't get motivated. I am trying to save money to buy a new home in Florida so that I can move out of my parent's home in Tennessee. I just feel I can't afford beauty products and procedures anymore. If I can't have it all, I don't want anything! I know that's a bad attitude, but it's how I feel. I want everything. Well, truly there is so much I need since I don't own anything right now and have been using my parents dollar store products.

I guess my question is do you think if I were to invest in some high-end beauty products that I would feel better about myself? I'm trying to save for a home I want to buy in Florida and on top of that I have got a lot of bills to pay. I'm not sure what to do. I feel ugly and useless. I don't have anyone to look good for. I just want to be active again and would like to meet a nice guy and start dating. Staying in the house and never stepping outside is not going to get me the things I want. I'm ready to start living again. Where should I start? No one is going to take me seriously with the way I look now.

Questions and comments are welcome!

That's crazy ! I hope you will get better, I like the advice others told you, they are great in my opinion. I have a friend who is going through the same thing as you've typed, since she had been with her future husband she completely let herself go, she has gained a lot of weight and doesn't care about her appearance anymore :s
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-08-2011, 07:32 PM
 
14,790 posts, read 14,037,264 times
Reputation: 20500
the first step is to start exercising... as pointed out walking is cheap, and you will see some changes. Walk 6 days a week.

I dont have a problem with therapy, but don't think you have to go straight to that. Exercising will release good hormones too - which can help with your general moods.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-08-2011, 07:46 PM
 
Location: TN
81 posts, read 172,032 times
Reputation: 86
Food may well be your "feel good" now having replaced your self-esteem. You may have an addiction problem with the food where when you feel depressed, you overeat, in turn causing weight gain. It can be an awful cycle, spinning out of control.
Try your best to recapture the "old" you and refrain from any new loving relationships until you're ready. The glycemic index diets are the best. Self-help books can be revealing. True friends are invaluable at a time like this; ones who'll listen for the nugget that exposes what is truly going on deep within your psyche.
Best of luck. I've been there.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Fashion and Beauty
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top