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Old 04-14-2012, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Australia
4,004 posts, read 5,084,617 times
Reputation: 6767

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I have been very plain in my life but seem to be having an EXTREMELY late blooming. When I go out I usually get a compliment or two on my appearance but some nights I get so many I actually get irritated, particularly if I go to a new venue with a new crowd.

I get complimented by men who (ironically) usually manage to do it in a flattering and polite way, by which I mean they say "you are pretty" and leave it at that. Women, however, seem to feel they have to compliment me, grab on to me, pull at my clothing, comment on my features, explain they are not gay, then say it all again.

At the end of the day, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and just because you judge someone to be beautiful, doesn't automatically mean you have to share that opinion with the recipient. Indeed, if they do appear to be "unusually" attractive, stop and consider they may get it OFTEN and may feel like a quiet night away from being judged to their face.

I don't say to people I judge as particularly plain, "oh my god, you have perfectly ugly lips! you look so dull! your eyes are so unattractive too....!" so why should I receive these judgements so often (even if they are intended to be compliments, it doesn't always feel very respectful), and be expected to be constantly grateful? I am always gracious, eg, say "thank you" with a smile and try to move on, but it is not always that easy, as admirers often follow, sharing their opinion of you all the while. I know I sound as vain as hell but this is a problem that can be quite intimidating if you attract the "wrong" sort of admirer.
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Old 04-14-2012, 07:19 PM
 
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
8,305 posts, read 11,808,465 times
Reputation: 8038
You write a beautiful post. Your paragraphs are really stacked!
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Old 04-15-2012, 05:54 AM
 
Location: The Midst of Insanity
3,225 posts, read 6,123,192 times
Reputation: 3209
Uhhh...women come up to you and tell you how gorgeous you are, and try to paw at you and touch you? I don't buy it. I have NEVER known or witnessed any women to act like this to another.
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Old 04-15-2012, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Fredericksburg, Va
5,119 posts, read 12,716,950 times
Reputation: 7210
I've had women compliment my hair (men, too), but "paw" me? No...
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Old 04-15-2012, 01:23 PM
 
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
2,767 posts, read 2,190,333 times
Reputation: 2341
I suppose it's just a curse you, me and other beautiful people like us will just have to live with.

Btw, me:

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Old 04-15-2012, 01:33 PM
 
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
2,767 posts, read 2,190,333 times
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Of course, I kid.

I agree it is a problem. It's about the best problem to have but still a problem when you just want to be liked for who you are, what your personality and intelligence are like. Not how you look. So often people mistake good looking people to be as shallow and vacuous as they wish they could be themselves.
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Old 04-15-2012, 01:44 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,071 posts, read 13,747,950 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by annika08 View Post
Uhhh...women come up to you and tell you how gorgeous you are, and try to paw at you and touch you? I don't buy it. I have NEVER known or witnessed any women to act like this to another.
LOL! I think you hit it on the bullseye!

This is a post, meant to draw attention from the opposite sex, in a covert way.

A single woman desperate for attention.
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Old 04-15-2012, 02:07 PM
 
Location: North Shore Long Island
7,736 posts, read 13,964,660 times
Reputation: 10544
Quote:
Originally Posted by annika08 View Post
Uhhh...women come up to you and tell you how gorgeous you are, and try to paw at you and touch you? I don't buy it. I have NEVER known or witnessed any women to act like this to another.
It does happen as I've experienced similar situations being "so tall", but for the most part, all the women who behaved or reacted that way towards me had a bit of booze in their system. (yes, women whom I don't know touch my body.)

Example, two weeks ago while out at a restaurant/upscale lounge, I became the discussion of the ladies room. One women was impressed with my height, wanted to know if I was a model, went on and on about how lucky I am. Then other women proceeded to get involved in the convo about me. It can be incredibly emarrassing even though the women only have good intentions. In fact, I dread going to the ladies room at crowded clubs & lounges because I just want to be left alone.

Again, I was stopped by a woman this past Thursday night while walking to the ladies room at a NYC restaurant.


In my case it has nothing to do with beauty, but my height and like the OP, I'm always shocked at how people feel the need to comment on it.
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Old 04-15-2012, 02:10 PM
 
4,123 posts, read 4,543,961 times
Reputation: 3559
Strange! I've never had, heard or seen any women pull or tug on a another women they don't know for the purpose of telling them they are beautiful.

Women tend to be very simple when giving compliments to other women. They don't want to draw attention to it. Most men don't even do that.
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Old 04-15-2012, 02:19 PM
 
Location: North Shore Long Island
7,736 posts, read 13,964,660 times
Reputation: 10544
Quote:
Originally Posted by Singlelady10 View Post
Strange! I've never had, heard or seen any women pull or tug on a another women they don't know for the purpose of telling them they are beautiful.

Women tend to be very simple when giving compliments to other women. They don't want to draw attention to it. Most men don't even do that.
The men just give the compliment/line and move on based on your reaction. Women (especially if they've been drinking) tend to make it a "conversation."
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