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Old 06-24-2012, 12:59 AM
6,014 posts, read 6,518,511 times
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When I look at me -- I see someone who doesn't have an ideal body, by any means. Formerly obese, lost weight fast so lot's of 'skin.' I do think "I have a pretty face,' and can look damned good when I want to There are some things I 'like' about myself physically more than others, but overall I'm OK with me. I'm not going to DWELL on what I don't like. Some of the things I'm not crazy about ARE changeable, some are not.

I do NOT lack self-esteem. I was raised to believe that:
1) If I don't think I'm pretty, how can I expect to others to,
2) there are dozens of people standing in line to talk you down, don't you dare do it to yourself
3) This is the only body I have right now, so even though I may want some improvements, I have to be able to say at a basic level I'm OK, whole, lovable, complete as I am...even if I never lose weight, get married, wear make-up, whatever.....
4) this body is a 'shell'...I - my personality, emotions etc -- am a spiritual being and not defined by a body
5) I have to be ME, and if that means not being a lemming to fashion, style or society's 'norm' of beauty....I need to -- to use a hot phrase of today -- stand in MY truth, for me.

I thank Gd everyday I was raised this way. So many, many people do not know themselves, and have no confidence in who they are...INWARDLY. I personally believe if you don't have that....you'll fall for putting to much importance on OUTward appearance.

I've learned some lessons in life about INNer beauty, vs. the outward, physically superficial kind. For me , I know which one is more important.
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Old 06-24-2012, 01:05 AM
Location: CA
3,469 posts, read 6,935,218 times
Reputation: 4779
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
I find women who have physical traits that I would never accept on myself often very attractive.
I'd also say that I find physical traits on other women to have aesthetic appeal when I actually don't think I'd want those traits for myself (although I wouldn't use the word "attractive" as I don't feel sexual attraction /pedantic moment). This is because I can appreciate a wide variety of looks. However, my personal ideal tends to just be a more flawless version of myself.


I actually like my body for the most part. Oh, I have days where I only see the flaws, but more often than not, I like my proportions & size. I wear clothes very easily, and this is probably more important to me than being "sexy". I like being "not average"... I'm thinner & taller than average, but not extreme.

So I like being thin & having a modest hand-full up top, and I have enough of a bubble butt & a defined waist to look feminine. Frankly, I think I have more of a feminine shape than a lot of medium to plump women who get called "curvy" but have no waist or have flabby rear-ends. I see a slender frame as feminine because it's delicate & "small" even if tall. I also think there's an elegance to being tallish & slender, but I am also aware this is very much the woman's ideal. The male ideal is something more cartoonish & exaggeratedly feminine. I'm pretty sure I'm just "thin" to many people, probably a bit "too thin".

So it's the constant barrage in the media of what men "really like" & what "real women" look like, along with the occasional snarky comments from people that get me down. It's weird how I can feel simultaneously "not quite thin enough" & "far too bony" if I let any of that in my head. It's also funny how I see Greek statues of the ideal feminine body & feel comforted... it's nice to see a culture existed that wasn't obsessed with extremes & exaggerations.
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Old 06-25-2012, 09:23 AM
1,661 posts, read 1,151,159 times
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When I look in the mirror, I see someone who is short, ugly, and 10 pounds overweight.

However, I'm very happy with my skin tone (am south indian w/ medium tone), lips (nice full lips), and sense of style (I think I dress better than 95% of men).

Overall, I guess it's not too bad. Now if more women would find me more attractive, then I'd be happier!
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Old 06-25-2012, 09:35 AM
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I'm usually pretty happy, but I have my days where I feel like I've gained 5-10 lbs (like today!). Also, I have days where I feel like I look 5 years older than I am.
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