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Old 06-30-2012, 07:43 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 30,372,180 times
Reputation: 28973

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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
Why? Does someone need psychotherapy before they consult someone to remove a bump from their nasal dorsum?

This is what I term the "cult of self esteem". That the idea that you may have low self esteem is so feared that people are afraid to admit they may not like their nose or their boobs without being told they need to see a psychiatrist before they do grave harm to themselves.

Armchair psychology in full force.
If it was a simple rhinoplasty that would be one thing but that's not what you're contemplating.

And, yeah, after a career in mental health I guess I do indulge a bit.

The "cult of self esteem" tells me that too many people are way too fragile while others are shallow. Self esteem is neither a mandate nor an entitlement. It's also not something that can be surgically implanted. That's merely illusionary.

 
Old 06-30-2012, 08:03 PM
 
Location: Australia
4,004 posts, read 5,092,351 times
Reputation: 6767
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
This loss of interest with sex might be caused by getting all that nice fat liposucked off your body...To create estrogen- the female hormone that makes you a woman and provides the sex drive...can only be created with the help of body fat- no fat - no woman...Guys wonder why super skinny girls are so hard to connect with- I would say that they have no fat..and probably like a starved female in a famine- no period either...be careful you don't remove what is left of the woman in you.

Cos you might look hot but be just be an it- but from what I see - you don't mind being an it...You have it- and you either use it or lose IT..
Never thought of that!

 
Old 06-30-2012, 08:19 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,053 posts, read 3,433,945 times
Reputation: 2475
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
If it was a simple rhinoplasty that would be one thing but that's not what you're contemplating.

I've already had non surgical jaw reduction through Botox, have a breast augmentation scheduled in 2 weeks, plan on a rhinoplasty and liposuction. Nothing about that seems extreme.
 
Old 06-30-2012, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,053 posts, read 3,433,945 times
Reputation: 2475
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope View Post
Never thought of that!

It sounds like a super scientific theory.
 
Old 06-30-2012, 08:34 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 30,372,180 times
Reputation: 28973
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
I've already had non surgical jaw reduction through Botox, have a breast augmentation scheduled in 2 weeks, plan on a rhinoplasty and liposuction. Nothing about that seems extreme.
Perhaps it isn't except in toto but my guess is that if I knew what you looked like before or even now I'd be less critical of you than you are.

Of course, the possibility exists that I could be totally wrong.
 
Old 06-30-2012, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,894 posts, read 28,206,166 times
Reputation: 26039
I have the opposite opinion. It sounds to me like you need some "me time." Many people find as they are focusing on transforming themselves (through weight loss, education, whatever) do not feel like adding something else to their lives at that point. All of their attentions are focused elsewhere.

I don't think you mentioned how long this whole journey will take for you, but I'd recommending staying the course for a month, and see how you feel then. It is OK not to want to date for a little while while you are focusing on something else.
 
Old 06-30-2012, 09:13 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,053 posts, read 3,433,945 times
Reputation: 2475
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
I have the opposite opinion. It sounds to me like you need some "me time." Many people find as they are focusing on transforming themselves (through weight loss, education, whatever) do not feel like adding something else to their lives at that point. All of their attentions are focused elsewhere.

I don't think you mentioned how long this whole journey will take for you, but I'd recommending staying the course for a month, and see how you feel then. It is OK not to want to date for a little while while you are focusing on something else.
Thank you. I did mention to my sister that I do feel like it's "my time" and I want to "do me" for the time being. I feel like I've wasted so much time with my life heavily involved in dead end relationships where I've lost myself. I want to do everything I can for me, to help me get to where I want to be.
 
Old 06-30-2012, 09:35 PM
 
Location: La lune et les étoiles
17,414 posts, read 18,301,719 times
Reputation: 18593
Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
Thank you. I did mention to my sister that I do feel like it's "my time" and I want to "do me" for the time being. I feel like I've wasted so much time with my life heavily involved in dead end relationships where I've lost myself. I want to do everything I can for me, to help me get to where I want to be.
Maybe its because I'm from LA (and nip/tucks are so commonplace) but I'm really not seeing why this is even an issue.

You have to separate these two things:

1) There is nothing wrong with having cosmetic procedures to improve your looks. So go for it!

2) Cosmetic surgery will not change anything regarding your relationships and your inability to maintain your identity while in these relationships. You will have to work on the "inside" for that to be improved. Remember that some of the most beautiful women in the world have been dumped, cheated on (often times with a MUCH less attractive woman) and had their hearts broken. So being "hot" is not going to resolve relationship/intimacy issues. Internal beauty truly radiates so focus on that aspect too.
 
Old 06-30-2012, 11:17 PM
 
Location: ATL suburb
1,366 posts, read 3,607,661 times
Reputation: 1542
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
This loss of interest with sex might be caused by getting all that nice fat liposucked off your body...To create estrogen- the female hormone that makes you a woman and provides the sex drive...can only be created with the help of body fat- no fat - no woman...Guys wonder why super skinny girls are so hard to connect with- I would say that they have no fat..and probably like a starved female in a famine- no period either...be careful you don't remove what is left of the woman in you.

Cos you might look hot but be just be an it- but from what I see - you don't mind being an it...You have it- and you either use it or lose IT..
WTF does that mean!?! How the heck does less estrogen, no periods, and/or less body fat equal not being a woman? If she has two X chromosomes, she's a woman. And how does low body fat make a woman hard to connect with?

While a certain percentage of body fat is needed for estrogen production, and therefore, periods, liposuction would not remove enough of the overall percentage to lead to loss of menses. Even elite level female athletes can still have enough body fat so that menses is not lost. A woman would generally have to be more than just super skinny. She would have to be severely malnourished too. Even women living in conditions of famine can still have children. It's not so much the body fat itself, it's the fat/cholesterol available from digestion (and stored in adipose and other places) needed to make estrogen, it's derivatives, and other steroid hormones.

This has got to be one of the dumbest posts I've ever read.
 
Old 07-01-2012, 06:13 AM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,053 posts, read 3,433,945 times
Reputation: 2475
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
2) Cosmetic surgery will not change anything regarding your relationships and your inability to maintain your identity while in these relationships. You will have to work on the "inside" for that to be improved. Remember that some of the most beautiful women in the world have been dumped, cheated on (often times with a MUCH less attractive woman) and had their hearts broken. So being "hot" is not going to resolve relationship/intimacy issues. Internal beauty truly radiates so focus on that aspect too.
Oh please don't misunderstand. I don't think working on my looks will improve the nature of the relationships that I get into! I just think my energies are best temporarily focused at least on doing everything I can to indulge myself, instead of worrying about someone else. I also hope that after I see how much pleasure I derive spoiling myself, everything else will seem not as important.
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