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Old 07-08-2012, 05:45 PM
 
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It's not just media that pressures us how we should look but the expectation of men as well.
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Old 07-08-2012, 05:46 PM
 
1,406 posts, read 2,316,077 times
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Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I mean people in general today - especially women - are so hung up about every little bit about their body...It's so obsessive! Is it because they just don't have anything else to think about/give their attention to?

Honestly, I think it all has to do with being raised in a competitive household, community, school, classroom, etc. Parents wanting children to be the best at everything (sports, schoolwork, etc.) that it eventually becomes what the child wants. Rather than accepting B's or 2nd or 3rd place, children and young adults are growing to hate not being perfect or 100%. IMO, this mentality eventually spills into their teen and adult personal lives. If they can be the best at everything else in the world, wouldn't they want to look their best or be the skinniest, fittest, etc? It's also tough to put a label on what's healthy. Some people are naturally skinny (especially if they're growing) and some people have to really work on looking their best. The media and celebrities have also mainstreamed perfectionism. If your boobs aren't big enough or your thighs are too jiggly, plastic surgery or extreme dieting is like candy to them. This has impacted our society as well.

I have a friend that's in the same scenario you described. She's 5'8 and 105 pounds soaking wet and complains CONSTANTLY about being overweight and how she has to work out 2-3 hours a day. On the days when she's feeling fat she takes diet pills just to make herself feel better.
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Old 07-08-2012, 06:33 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,130,167 times
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Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Seriously! I just read her blog post about why she isn't staying at the Olympic training center. I don't know how I would react if I found men who were not performing as well as I am were getting paid more......
Pretty Strong: Why I left the Olympic Training Center

The thing is, for women, being talented is "equally as relevant" as your looks. I can't tell you how many conversations I have been in where I have heard someone say: she is really smart/talented/cool... but she is really ugly/a but-her-face/fat/sloppy....." And of course looks were completely irrelevant to evaluating someone's competence in that particular conversation.

There was even a recent study that said women who wear makeup get paid and promoted more. What does wearing makeup have to do with job performance?
Wear More Lipstick To Get A Promotion? - Forbes

I have never been a big makeup wearer. My mom never wore it, and neither did my grandmothers. In college I went through a makeup phase. It was called lip gloss and mascara. When I got to the workforce, I found out, especially since I look pretty young, that I needed to wear makeup so people would take me seriously. Which is really sad, because obviously, I do not suddenly become more competent because I put on some eyeliner and blush. Now I put on make up for every client meeting, just to keep up appearances.

Sadly, if you are a woman, you can't win if you don't focus on your looks.
I always assumed it was the opposite, that women who DIDN'T wear makeup were taken more seriously, but now I see how the opposite could be the case. If men aren't attracted to you they might not pay as much attention to you or try to be nice to you as much. Some men.
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Old 07-08-2012, 07:32 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
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Originally Posted by negativenancy View Post

I have a friend that's in the same scenario you described. She's 5'8 and 105 pounds soaking wet and complains CONSTANTLY about being overweight and how she has to work out 2-3 hours a day. On the days when she's feeling fat she takes diet pills just to make herself feel better.
Honestly, it sounds like she has an eating disorder (or exercise-induced anorexia). 105 isn't a healthy weight for anyone that height.
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Old 07-08-2012, 07:34 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
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Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
I always assumed it was the opposite, that women who DIDN'T wear makeup were taken more seriously, but now I see how the opposite could be the case. If men aren't attracted to you they might not pay as much attention to you or try to be nice to you as much. Some men.
What happens when they think you are ugly is that you don't get promoted. They don't trust your advice. Or you are invisible. Being "pretty" at work improves your perceived job performance.
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Old 07-08-2012, 07:58 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,130,167 times
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Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
What happens when they think you are ugly is that you don't get promoted. They don't trust your advice. Or you are invisible. Being "pretty" at work improves your perceived job performance.
Yeah it seems that ugly women in particular are treated pretty terribly, quickly ostracized/disliked more easily than attractive ones. It's a disgraceful example of the pack mentality.
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Old 07-08-2012, 08:14 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,867 posts, read 28,145,186 times
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Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Yeah it seems that ugly women in particular are treated pretty terribly, quickly ostracized/disliked more easily than attractive ones. It's a disgraceful example of the pack mentality.
And another reminder that being "pretty" is important. It is just really sad and disappointing that this is still a problem.
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Old 07-08-2012, 08:25 PM
 
1,406 posts, read 2,316,077 times
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Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Honestly, it sounds like she has an eating disorder (or exercise-induced anorexia). 105 isn't a healthy weight for anyone that height.
I agree. I've run out of things to say to her to try and help... But there's only so many of her "I'm fat" comments I can take.
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Old 07-08-2012, 09:07 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,130,167 times
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Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
And another reminder that being "pretty" is important. It is just really sad and disappointing that this is still a problem.
Yes I rarely compliment women on their looks, actually. And I do this largely for this reason. I see women are generally complimented on looks by both men and women. Like, for instance, it's sacrilege to tell a woman she doesn't look 'just fabulous.' Well, no, it shouldn't be, because a woman's ENTIRE SELF WORTH shouldn't be tied up in the shell that's she in. It's treating women like objects, like living dolls. But these women have a go at me for 'attacking them' when I point this out, go figure.
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Old 07-08-2012, 09:41 PM
 
24,511 posts, read 34,122,907 times
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Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
And another reminder that being "pretty" is important. It is just really sad and disappointing that this is still a problem.
It's not a problem. It's an intended solution for resolving natural selection.
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