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Old 07-08-2012, 09:47 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,581,184 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Because everyone is focused on how you look. You get subtle messaging starting when you are a kid that looks are very important if you are female.

You wouldn't necessary notice this, but starting around age 3, when those relatives come over, the first thing they say to the little girls is "wow, your dress/hair/earrings are really pretty." Or "you look pretty today."

By the time you start school, the pretty hierarchy starts. Young girls are praised less for being smart, or athletic, or reading a book and more for "looking nice." Many people have a double standard when it comes to girls, they aren't supposed to get dirty, be to athletic, etc. You start learning those lessons quickly. The girls who don't look nice are not as well-received as the ones who do.

When the media talks about women in power they comment on their clothing and perceived attractiveness. (Ahem, Sarah Palin, Hilary Clinton, Michelle Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Laura Bush....) And if they aren't conventionally attractive (aka young and pretty with long hair), the media makes fun of them (Margaret Thatcher, Janet Reno).

Why are Michelle Obama's arms and butt size even a topic in the media? What does that have to do with her being first lady? I love to see Michelle Obama's outfits, she is totally a fashion inspiration for me, but seriously, no man in power had endless articles about his outfits. No man in power is criticized for not being "in shape" or being "toned," while every woman's body is up for debate. Even for women not in appearance focused industries (like acting).

This is Olympic season, but I guarantee, the female athletes with the most profiles/media coverage are not the successful ones, but the ones that look good in a dress. How come more people aren't talking about the most successful weight lifter in American history......Sarah Robles? Hmm I don't know, but I am guessing it has a lot to do with the fact she doesn't have a conventionally attractive female body. I have seen tons of coverage about Marlen Esparza, and lots of magazine features. Hmmmm double standard?

Or how about this Olympic swimmer, Rebecca Adlington, who was criticized for being "fat." Hello she is going to the Olympics, how could she not be in shape?
London 2012 Olympics: Rebecca Adlington outraged by constant 'nasty' online abuse over her looks - Telegraph

Be amazed if you can find a woman who manages to overcome decades of messaging, and not be obsessed with appearance.
So so true. They are focused entirely on how a woman looks and even that determines how they treat you, so what do they expect? Of course some women are going to be obsessive about their looks. As women it's all we're told that matters about us. They don't care how 'nice' you are and that becomes apparent very quickly to any woman whose looks are not the 'expectations' and even those that are know this.
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Old 07-08-2012, 09:50 PM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,130,167 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
So so true. They are focused entirely on how a woman looks and even that determines how they treat you, so what do they expect? Of course some women are going to be obsessive about their looks. As women it's all we're told that matters about us. They don't care how 'nice' you are and that becomes apparent very quickly to any woman whose looks are not the 'expectations' and even those that are know this.
Women need to stop feeding into it as well.
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Old 07-08-2012, 09:54 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,873 posts, read 28,145,186 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Women need to stop feeding into it as well.
But we have to live in the real world, where you are surrounded by it. It is pretty hard to "opt-out."
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Old 07-08-2012, 11:09 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 25,789,079 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
But we have to live in the real world, where you are surrounded by it. It is pretty hard to "opt-out."
Exactly. I 'opted out' and only wear makeup and do my hair for special occasions. Guess what? I didnt' get a raise, I didn't get promoted etc. until I started looking pretty. I thought it was odd that I got a $1 raise within 2 months of starting to look pretty at work when I hadn't received a single penny in 3 years. I guess I became a better mechanic when I slathered that mascara on
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Old 07-08-2012, 11:59 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
26,873 posts, read 28,145,186 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Exactly. I 'opted out' and only wear makeup and do my hair for special occasions. Guess what? I didnt' get a raise, I didn't get promoted etc. until I started looking pretty. I thought it was odd that I got a $1 raise within 2 months of starting to look pretty at work when I hadn't received a single penny in 3 years. I guess I became a better mechanic when I slathered that mascara on
Obviously. Because the longer your lashes are, the better you can see the tools.
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Old 07-09-2012, 01:10 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,581,184 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Women need to stop feeding into it as well.

i was about to say exactly what jetjockey/jade said. there is no 'opt out' of this for women and those that do (don't wear the latest fashions, don't wear make up, etc.) pay the consequences. may as well be a piece of furniture in a room of men b/c they will not care you're there. goes to show you how obsessed they are with looks, actually.
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Old 07-09-2012, 01:13 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,130,167 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
But we have to live in the real world, where you are surrounded by it. It is pretty hard to "opt-out."
Yeah I guess feminism didn't achieve all it set out to do.
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Old 07-09-2012, 01:16 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,130,167 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
i was about to say exactly what jetjockey/jade said. there is no 'opt out' of this for women and those that do (don't wear the latest fashions, don't wear make up, etc.) pay the consequences. may as well be a piece of furniture in a room of men b/c they will not care you're there. goes to show you how obsessed they are with looks, actually.
Women can be equally superficial about looks and other things, as well. Simple people with shallow preferences. We have to learn to expand our minds...
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Old 07-09-2012, 01:41 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
8,738 posts, read 9,581,184 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20 View Post
Women can be equally superficial about looks and other things, as well. Simple people with shallow preferences. We have to learn to expand our minds...

no woman I know places nearly as much worth and value on men based on looks as they do to women.

well i guess people are not interested in expanding their minds too much. that's how it seems.
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Old 07-09-2012, 02:29 AM
 
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,683 posts, read 43,130,167 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
no woman I know places nearly as much worth and value on men based on looks as they do to women.

well i guess people are not interested in expanding their minds too much. that's how it seems.
Women are every bit as superficial when it comes to look, no one believes that old myth...
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